*sighs*
I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't keep track of a single thought. I've got homework but I can't get myself to sit down and actually work on it. I want to try to keep Christine entertained, as she's always at home. But whether I'm truly boring or perhaps there isn't much here that really interests her into doing anything. I know a few of her hobbies, and I know that there are some hobbies that she wouldn't mind doing but this place doesn't offer it (such as hunting). Financially I'm kinda strapped for cash because I've got some bills to pay and I'm trying to save up for stuff as well as a surprise I'm planning and hoping to carry through.
I guess I am really needy. She's right. and I guess I annoy her with my neediness. I guess I understand why she doesn't want to be with me. And, after all this time, I still scare her. *shakes his head* I dunno. ok, I guess I need to get my act together so that things can fall into place.
thinking of writing more later
now it's later.
yeah, so it's official. we're not together. or perhaps it was official a little while ago and I never noticed or didn't want to notice. not to say she totally despises me, but... well I guess I'm not man enough or not enough of the type of person she wants to be with. I have no clue.
I have no idea what she wants I suppose. I have no idea what makes her happy. somehow, I don't think she knows either. then again she doesn't let me in. everytime I think I'm close, I realize I'm still outside. she's been hurt so badly and it's tough to mend these wounds that don't want to seem to heal.
I suppose I'm supposed to move on... look for another.... but someone like her is so hard to find... and I don't want to. I love her.
I guess I am really needy. She's right. and I guess I annoy her with my neediness. I guess I understand why she doesn't want to be with me. And, after all this time, I still scare her. *shakes his head* I dunno. ok, I guess I need to get my act together so that things can fall into place.
thinking of writing more later
now it's later.
yeah, so it's official. we're not together. or perhaps it was official a little while ago and I never noticed or didn't want to notice. not to say she totally despises me, but... well I guess I'm not man enough or not enough of the type of person she wants to be with. I have no clue.
I have no idea what she wants I suppose. I have no idea what makes her happy. somehow, I don't think she knows either. then again she doesn't let me in. everytime I think I'm close, I realize I'm still outside. she's been hurt so badly and it's tough to mend these wounds that don't want to seem to heal.
I suppose I'm supposed to move on... look for another.... but someone like her is so hard to find... and I don't want to. I love her.