Drabble, for elviaprose
Title: As yet untitled (sorry!)
Play/Poem: Coriolanus
Recipient: elviaprose
Rating: PG13 (though there may be R-rated language at some point)
Summary: Gaius Martius comes up for tenure. Wackiness ensues.
Warnings: Academics behaving like academics, cattiness, profanity
Author's Note: This is totally silly, just so you know, and it is completely a catharsis-fic inspired by the massive pile of student essays I still need to finish reading. ;) There will be more, I promise, but it may come up in fits and starts.
At the sight of the name on the next file, Menenius couldn't suppress a sigh. He tried, but now the entire T&P committee was staring at him.
Well, better to get it over and done with.
"Gaius Martius."
He barely even finished the name when a chorus drowned it out.
"Nothing but complaints--"
"--lowest evaluations in the department--"
"--never in his office--"
"Has he attended a single committee meeting? One, in all the years he's been here?"
"He threw a chair at a student!"
"To be fair," Menenius ventured, "the student may have deserved it. I seem to remember he complained about his grade after missing half the lectures and failing the midterm."
"He. Threw. A. Chair."
Menenius met Volumnia's eyes across the table and was forced to suppress a snigger. She had been chair of the department for as long as he could remember and nobody had ever thought to oust her--nobody dared. And, of course, she'd been Martius' supervisor and mentor. Rumor had it he was even dating her daughter, although Menenius had to admit he'd never actually seen them together.
"Leaving aside the launching of projectiles," Volumnia said, and the entire conference room went silent, "what about his scholarship? Martius is at the forefront of the field and he's published three books since we hired him."
Menenius could see the others squirming. None of them could do what Martius did; they all knew that. He was, quite simply, the best.
The problem was that he knew that.
It was going to be a very long meeting.
Play/Poem: Coriolanus
Recipient: elviaprose
Rating: PG13 (though there may be R-rated language at some point)
Summary: Gaius Martius comes up for tenure. Wackiness ensues.
Warnings: Academics behaving like academics, cattiness, profanity
Author's Note: This is totally silly, just so you know, and it is completely a catharsis-fic inspired by the massive pile of student essays I still need to finish reading. ;) There will be more, I promise, but it may come up in fits and starts.
At the sight of the name on the next file, Menenius couldn't suppress a sigh. He tried, but now the entire T&P committee was staring at him.
Well, better to get it over and done with.
"Gaius Martius."
He barely even finished the name when a chorus drowned it out.
"Nothing but complaints--"
"--lowest evaluations in the department--"
"--never in his office--"
"Has he attended a single committee meeting? One, in all the years he's been here?"
"He threw a chair at a student!"
"To be fair," Menenius ventured, "the student may have deserved it. I seem to remember he complained about his grade after missing half the lectures and failing the midterm."
"He. Threw. A. Chair."
Menenius met Volumnia's eyes across the table and was forced to suppress a snigger. She had been chair of the department for as long as he could remember and nobody had ever thought to oust her--nobody dared. And, of course, she'd been Martius' supervisor and mentor. Rumor had it he was even dating her daughter, although Menenius had to admit he'd never actually seen them together.
"Leaving aside the launching of projectiles," Volumnia said, and the entire conference room went silent, "what about his scholarship? Martius is at the forefront of the field and he's published three books since we hired him."
Menenius could see the others squirming. None of them could do what Martius did; they all knew that. He was, quite simply, the best.
The problem was that he knew that.
It was going to be a very long meeting.