(no subject)
I'm afraid I'm loosing it. I've been in small arguments with three people in the past week. Perhaps it is all this stress or maybe it's that old fire that burns in me. I'm tired of being shit kicked around. With my free time I'm ODing on film and doing a fall purging. Get rid of the useless things in my life. Does that mean people too? And why, why is there all this pressure to be in a relationship? I'm ok with watching 70's dystopian films with myself and studying Japanese on a Friday night. Really it's quite fun.
I'm tired of all the rot and splinters.
My father doesn't do much but he always makes sure I have enough toilet paper. He is obsessed with the stuff. The shelves in the laundry room are crowded with towers of tubes; enough for the second coming. I wonder if it is because as children they used to take baths in the sink and had an outhouse until he was 12 years old.
Tonight is another one of those all consuming vaporous nights. I cannot sit still so I took myself for a walk around town, bare feet soaking up the smooth surface of the marble steps trying to gather the dust of the city. I lay in the grass and tried to avoid the lights. You cannot see the stars but I did recall how great it felt to just lay there in the soft wet greeness. Sometimes I miss people so badly it is like starving.
I'm tired of all the rot and splinters.
My father doesn't do much but he always makes sure I have enough toilet paper. He is obsessed with the stuff. The shelves in the laundry room are crowded with towers of tubes; enough for the second coming. I wonder if it is because as children they used to take baths in the sink and had an outhouse until he was 12 years old.
Tonight is another one of those all consuming vaporous nights. I cannot sit still so I took myself for a walk around town, bare feet soaking up the smooth surface of the marble steps trying to gather the dust of the city. I lay in the grass and tried to avoid the lights. You cannot see the stars but I did recall how great it felt to just lay there in the soft wet greeness. Sometimes I miss people so badly it is like starving.