Promise complete

[idamis]

So today was probably the most emotional day i've had since...conference when i was a senior in highschool. I went into boston last night to stay with jill so i could make it to kelsey's meet today. I knew that i was going to come back upset because kels did what i never had the chance to do...but i was an absolute mess today. I woke up early and took the train to the Kendall/MIT stop to find out i had to walk 20 minutes in the poring rain. but that didn't get my hopes down because nothing could stop me from getting to the meet to see my lil sis swim. I got there right as the 200 medley was finishing. I said my good luck wishes to kels and she went back down to the deck...that's where it started. I saw brett. i watched the team all prep each other up and help each other get the nerves down. As i watched kelsey i had memories rushing back to me from conference my senior year of highschool; my last chance to make sectionals. As kelsey got more worried she went from being her bouncy self to quiet...she was nervous. She had the same nervous look on her face that i did at conference. I knew exactly what was running through her mind. "it's my last chance to make it, this is it, this is what i've worked all season for" As i watched her get stressed i found myself starting to break down. Brett caught the nervous look and gave his prep talk. The hand on the head and looking her straight in the eyes saying 'you got this kiddo.' then the scared nod yes from kelsey. As she headed up to the block you could see the nerves taking over her making her so nervous that she felt like she was freezing, her walk unstable and her whole body feeling clamy. As she stood behind the block she tried to compose herself and looked up to me for the smile of 'swim your best kelsey.' She put on her goggles and adjusted them over and over, stretched and adjusted her goggles again...then finally those words that mean so much to those who know the importance of your last swim...ever. "Swimmers step up" As she stepped up i yelled 'you got this kelsey'...tears swelling up already. "Take your mark" i held my breath just like i knew she was holding hers and when that buzzer sounded that's when i truly started to loose it. I started to flashback down to every second of that 200 free at conference. I gave all i had. everything. As i watched kelsey's splits keep consistant full fledged crying began because i knew that she listened to me. When kelsey sat next to me on the way home from conference, i couldn't stop crying but i told her "please do me a favor...do not let brett screw up with you. make sectionals so you can tell me what it's like." As she swam that last 25 i was speechless...left with only tears running down my face...she touched that wall and slowly turned toward the scoreboard...but unlike me she saw a time that represented how hard she worked...she saw a time that wasn't hinder by a coach who wanted one senior to put aside her dream to swim at sectionals to place in the 200 IM. Kelsey looked up at me and i clapped proudly. Kelsey immediately went to the warm down pool because she had to swim in the relay in a few events. I watched as Brett, a proud coach, made his way over to the lane she was swimming in. He stopped her from swimming and leaned down to give her a big high five. he then put his hand on her head and said 'you did it kiddo! nice job'. again, seeing this sent me into yet more crying because after my race i got the hand on the head with "it's okay kiddo we'll get um next-" And it was at that point when Brett realized that i have no more other chances..that was my last chance.

after the meet i met kelsey downstairs in the lobby and i hugged her i couldn't help but continue to cry. she did what i never got the chance to do. she did what i told her to. she worked her butt off and didn't let brett ruin her chances. she swam for the both of us this morning. Even though i never got to live my dream, she did. at least one of us made it...