(no subject)

[idamis]

so alot going on right now. main focus- this summer. my mom told me that "it would be helpful to the family if i worked at the beach with TJ but it's your choice" aka my mom needs me to help make extra money this summer...camp isn't really an option and it's killing me because i just convinced myself that i could get through this summer- make new friends; make my okay friends at camp better friends that i can take days off with. but now if i go to camp it'd be selfish of me. but it's killing me. i absolutly love being a counselor. like i love that first day when my girls come in scared and not knowing what to expect and somehow by the end of the evening everyone is comfortable with each other and have joined me in my craziness. it's such a rewarding experience seeing that scared look turn into a huge smile...and by the end of the week they want to stay. you know that at that point you did it; you made an impact on them. like navi; she was dead set against me being her counselor but by the end of the week she said she wanted me to be her counselor this upcoming summer. :(

i just want to be a counselor