Is it a sin that I exist? (Rant)
I'm preaching to the choir here--but I wanted to share what I posted on Facebook today (which doesn't entirely consist of the 'choir'). I just needed to rant. It's nothing original--but sometimes I just have to say this stuff or I'm going to explode, or weep, or something...
The cover of our local progressive newspaper reads in big bold letters: Is Being Gay A Sin? The article inside is "fair" because only half of it is vitriolic rhetoric about gay people--the other half highlights the struggles churches have had (i.e. losing members) when they have openly accepted gays and lesbians into their congregations and leadership...as if I should think the churches are doing me a big favor to accept my right to exist. I don't know why, because of course this stuff is out there all the time, but this somehow has just burst through my defenses and I feel hurt and raw and just tired.....And if another Christian tells me that they love the sinner, but not the sin, I'm going to just scream. Excuse me, but screw that. If you're goiing to love me, then support me, advocate for me, and friggin' don't patronize or tolerate me.
I know that I have all sorts of privilege--I'm a white, middle class woman who is loved by an incredible supportive circle of friends and family. I do work that I care about and I work at a place that acknowledges my partnership with Sarah and I even get to include her on my health insurance. (Although why all of us don't have health insurance is a whole other rant.) So I live this life that is protected in so many ways...I don't have to be scared that I'll lose my job over my sexual identity. I'm not scared of violence on the street (although we don't hold hands in public in "Paradise" because, I guess, we're not very brave.) I live an "approved" monogamous life style, I'm not transgendered, I'm not a person of color--I don't necessarily even register as queer when people see me on the streets--so I pass. I know that so many other people are facing situations that are so much more difficult. And I know that we've made a lot of progress in the United States. (By contrast to, say, Uganda where there's a bill that literally makes being gay an executable offense.) And there's some part of me that says I should be grateful for all this.
But, to be honest, today I'm not. I'm just pissed. Pissed that it should even be a question anymore. Pissed that these "accepting" churches are still all torn inside out about this move they've made and trying to find ways to welcome members who continue to feel that gay people are fundamentally sinful--to allow a reasoned dialog. Pissesd that in the name of journalistic fairness, my local daily paper is printing hate-speech in its letter section on a regular basis and that the progressive paper thought it was a good idea to excerpt parts of the Bible that include words that say gay people should be at the least, reviled, and possibly killed.
Life is confusing and full of all sorts of shades of grey. But one thing that is not confusing in my life is my love for sparrowhawk86 . She is the clear, open-hearted, passionate, grounded center of my life. And another thing that is not confusing is how many of the very best people I know are queer.
So, I don't want to be patient or reasonable or wait for anything. I want every single person to know to their core that they are beautiful, that they are a gift, that the world would be less without them. I do believe that there is "that of God (Light, Spirit, the Divine) in everyone." So, along with my sense of indignation and confusion and, yes, hurt feelings--I pray to see my way clear to connecting with people who are disgusted by all things queer, because it is only by reaching out and risking vulnerability that change will ever happen.
But my friends, not today. Today I just want to say--no one has the right to question my right to exist. Some slogans are just too good to go out of fashion: I'm here, I'm queer, Get used to it.
.
The cover of our local progressive newspaper reads in big bold letters: Is Being Gay A Sin? The article inside is "fair" because only half of it is vitriolic rhetoric about gay people--the other half highlights the struggles churches have had (i.e. losing members) when they have openly accepted gays and lesbians into their congregations and leadership...as if I should think the churches are doing me a big favor to accept my right to exist. I don't know why, because of course this stuff is out there all the time, but this somehow has just burst through my defenses and I feel hurt and raw and just tired.....And if another Christian tells me that they love the sinner, but not the sin, I'm going to just scream. Excuse me, but screw that. If you're goiing to love me, then support me, advocate for me, and friggin' don't patronize or tolerate me.
I know that I have all sorts of privilege--I'm a white, middle class woman who is loved by an incredible supportive circle of friends and family. I do work that I care about and I work at a place that acknowledges my partnership with Sarah and I even get to include her on my health insurance. (Although why all of us don't have health insurance is a whole other rant.) So I live this life that is protected in so many ways...I don't have to be scared that I'll lose my job over my sexual identity. I'm not scared of violence on the street (although we don't hold hands in public in "Paradise" because, I guess, we're not very brave.) I live an "approved" monogamous life style, I'm not transgendered, I'm not a person of color--I don't necessarily even register as queer when people see me on the streets--so I pass. I know that so many other people are facing situations that are so much more difficult. And I know that we've made a lot of progress in the United States. (By contrast to, say, Uganda where there's a bill that literally makes being gay an executable offense.) And there's some part of me that says I should be grateful for all this.
But, to be honest, today I'm not. I'm just pissed. Pissed that it should even be a question anymore. Pissed that these "accepting" churches are still all torn inside out about this move they've made and trying to find ways to welcome members who continue to feel that gay people are fundamentally sinful--to allow a reasoned dialog. Pissesd that in the name of journalistic fairness, my local daily paper is printing hate-speech in its letter section on a regular basis and that the progressive paper thought it was a good idea to excerpt parts of the Bible that include words that say gay people should be at the least, reviled, and possibly killed.
Life is confusing and full of all sorts of shades of grey. But one thing that is not confusing in my life is my love for sparrowhawk86 . She is the clear, open-hearted, passionate, grounded center of my life. And another thing that is not confusing is how many of the very best people I know are queer.
So, I don't want to be patient or reasonable or wait for anything. I want every single person to know to their core that they are beautiful, that they are a gift, that the world would be less without them. I do believe that there is "that of God (Light, Spirit, the Divine) in everyone." So, along with my sense of indignation and confusion and, yes, hurt feelings--I pray to see my way clear to connecting with people who are disgusted by all things queer, because it is only by reaching out and risking vulnerability that change will ever happen.
But my friends, not today. Today I just want to say--no one has the right to question my right to exist. Some slogans are just too good to go out of fashion: I'm here, I'm queer, Get used to it.
.