(no subject)
Swear to god today is a total fucked up day for me. I'll cry one second, thinking about everything sad and then I'll get hysterically giggly back to frustratingly angry and crying again. I don't know what's wrong today. I just keep thinking about my rat dying and how I could have prevented that, all the things I need to do for school, all the things I keep forgetting to do before I close up the Vet's office, why I only call my mom when something's wrong, how Geri hates me now because of fucking Freckle..... GODDDDDD!!!!!!!!!! I called Adam, he made me feel a little better but I just feel like crying and having someone there to hug me but I don't wanna scare him away. Especially since I'm crying over nothing. GOD! Does anyone understand how I feel? I'm not feeling bad for myself I'm just thinking about all the stuff I have to do and shit and it freaks me out.....
Tracey was getting pissed off cause she didn't know what was wrong.... I don't know why all this shit is bothering me and when I stop worrying about it all, I'll think of something like 2 years ago when the love of my life, Thomas (cat) died of Leukemia and how I should have never kept Geri because then he must have thought I abandoned him. Then I think about what he must have been thinking and I cry. Then I think about when the people at the Vet's office put him to sleep and I was holding him.......help. why is all this stuff bothering me, I can't let it go..... everyone just thinks I'm freaking out over nothing and call me stupid or bipolar or a freak...that doesn't help.
I'm probably going to erase this entry when I feel better because it's only going to embarrass me but I don't care now. I wanted to try and make myself feel better by writing it...... I'm going to take a shower now.......
Tracey was getting pissed off cause she didn't know what was wrong.... I don't know why all this shit is bothering me and when I stop worrying about it all, I'll think of something like 2 years ago when the love of my life, Thomas (cat) died of Leukemia and how I should have never kept Geri because then he must have thought I abandoned him. Then I think about what he must have been thinking and I cry. Then I think about when the people at the Vet's office put him to sleep and I was holding him.......help. why is all this stuff bothering me, I can't let it go..... everyone just thinks I'm freaking out over nothing and call me stupid or bipolar or a freak...that doesn't help.
I'm probably going to erase this entry when I feel better because it's only going to embarrass me but I don't care now. I wanted to try and make myself feel better by writing it...... I'm going to take a shower now.......