tales from a former self-ostracized fat kid
today, i started thinking...mainly about justzach81's concern w/getting older & forgetting his past.
ok, i'm further along in years (well, only by 2) than he; however, gettin' older doesn't really bother me, & i'm not really concerned w/losing memories. currently, i'm more preoccupied w/the fact that i feel like i'm not really making any memorable moments, right now...other than what can be evidenced by the green & yellow highlights thru most of the texts i use for class. lennon said, "life's what happens when you're busy making other plans"...today, i began thinking about that & how it relates to me. are my efforts at enjoying life half-hearted? i seem to have all my energy focused on school, & very little else. is it alright that i'm this focused? it's paying off grade-wise, definitely. i've made some great friends during my time here at ksu, but it's nothing compared to my time spent in athens. have i entered some sort of academic purgatory? i was so focused on my social life in athens, that my education took a backseat (which would account for the lackluster attempt at keeping my grades up). don't get me wrong, i wouldn't trade any of my experiences for anything...i've come a loooooooooooong way from that quiet, dutiful 250 lb teacher's pet...& every experience over the years has contributed to who i am, & who i'll become (& i'm glad i'm in a place where i can see that clearly).
like m...i'd like to just have the carefree freedom to go out whenever i wanted, come in whenever i wanted, to sleep whenever i wanted, etc. maybe it's just the fact that the midpoint of the semester is upon us.
i'm headed out to see some family (i hope) this weekend...& then i'm s'pose to have plans w/m & then pinky, next week while we're out.
maybe i just need the break...
ok, i'm further along in years (well, only by 2) than he; however, gettin' older doesn't really bother me, & i'm not really concerned w/losing memories. currently, i'm more preoccupied w/the fact that i feel like i'm not really making any memorable moments, right now...other than what can be evidenced by the green & yellow highlights thru most of the texts i use for class. lennon said, "life's what happens when you're busy making other plans"...today, i began thinking about that & how it relates to me. are my efforts at enjoying life half-hearted? i seem to have all my energy focused on school, & very little else. is it alright that i'm this focused? it's paying off grade-wise, definitely. i've made some great friends during my time here at ksu, but it's nothing compared to my time spent in athens. have i entered some sort of academic purgatory? i was so focused on my social life in athens, that my education took a backseat (which would account for the lackluster attempt at keeping my grades up). don't get me wrong, i wouldn't trade any of my experiences for anything...i've come a loooooooooooong way from that quiet, dutiful 250 lb teacher's pet...& every experience over the years has contributed to who i am, & who i'll become (& i'm glad i'm in a place where i can see that clearly).
like m...i'd like to just have the carefree freedom to go out whenever i wanted, come in whenever i wanted, to sleep whenever i wanted, etc. maybe it's just the fact that the midpoint of the semester is upon us.
i'm headed out to see some family (i hope) this weekend...& then i'm s'pose to have plans w/m & then pinky, next week while we're out.
maybe i just need the break...