FIC: A Flaw in the Plan
Title: A Flaw in the Plan
Pairings: none
Notes: post-HBP one-shot, ~500 words
Summary: Lee Jordan takes his sister to a D.A. meeting
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling,
"sportsmanlike" bit paraphrased from The Princess Bride by William Goldman
A Flaw in the Plan
I hadn't wanted to go to their stupid do-gooder meeting in the first place, but my common-sense challenged brother was responsible for me this afternoon, and he insisted. The D.A., they call themselves. Not exactly an auspicious name, is it?
"Hey Jordan, what's with the pet snake?" some dolt of a Weasley called out when we arrived. I just rolled my eyes and gave him the appropriate salute; I was used to the trials of having a Gryffindor in the family. I settled down and left them to their virtuous plotting.
I was calculating how many Hufflepuffs I could convince that I had naked pictures of Malfoy with Zabini and what I could realistically charge before they required hard evidence, when I heard my name. "Jordan, Longbottom, Dennis Creevey: you lot can look into emergency healing. Spells, potions, and muggle." It was that know-it-all friend of Potter's, Granger.
She continued, "Right, that's everyone. At our next meeting, everyone be prepared to teach the rest of us what you've learned. Next time we fight the Death Eaters we'll distract them as much as possible while Harry challenges Voldemort."
The room was full of earnest nodding heads.
"And we'll all live happily after?" Oh my giddy aunt, that was me. Despite a full year of Slytherin training, I'd broken Rule Number One: don't start a fight unless there's a secret back door, you have them outnumbered, and there are no credible witnesses.
"Excuse me?" Granger questioned.
"Sorry, that's my sister." Lee was apologetic.
"She's in Slytherin. Ignore her. What does she know?" The Weasley contribution. There's something about those Weasleys that just gets to me. I mean, Lee's normally everything anyone could ask for in a brother, but just get him around a Weasley and he transforms into a total prat. This time, I threw a wobbly.
I turned on the closest redhead and continued, "I think there may be a flaw in the plan." Oh, had no one dared question Granger before? She looked cabbaged. Or maybe her hair always did that. I was starting to enjoy the meeting after all. People were exchanging looks, but no one was trying to shut me up. They were only Gryffindors, after all. Slytherin upper years didn't tolerate my particular brand of "pertness"; the lesson had been beaten into me repeatedly in the common room.
I went on, "So you're a quasi-immortal evil overlord, and Potter here is the only one who can possibly do you in. Potter shows up to fight - are you going to stick around and compare wands? Any Dark Lord worth his title will have disapparated to Kuala Lumpur before you can say skiving snackboxes."
More slack jaws, although Granger was looking speculative.
"That's not very sportsmanlike..." from Potter. Please! And Lee thinks that he's going to save us all?
Granger came to a decision. "Right, what's your name? You're with Harry and me on the planning team."
Pairings: none
Notes: post-HBP one-shot, ~500 words
Summary: Lee Jordan takes his sister to a D.A. meeting
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JK Rowling,
"sportsmanlike" bit paraphrased from The Princess Bride by William Goldman
A Flaw in the Plan
I hadn't wanted to go to their stupid do-gooder meeting in the first place, but my common-sense challenged brother was responsible for me this afternoon, and he insisted. The D.A., they call themselves. Not exactly an auspicious name, is it?
"Hey Jordan, what's with the pet snake?" some dolt of a Weasley called out when we arrived. I just rolled my eyes and gave him the appropriate salute; I was used to the trials of having a Gryffindor in the family. I settled down and left them to their virtuous plotting.
I was calculating how many Hufflepuffs I could convince that I had naked pictures of Malfoy with Zabini and what I could realistically charge before they required hard evidence, when I heard my name. "Jordan, Longbottom, Dennis Creevey: you lot can look into emergency healing. Spells, potions, and muggle." It was that know-it-all friend of Potter's, Granger.
She continued, "Right, that's everyone. At our next meeting, everyone be prepared to teach the rest of us what you've learned. Next time we fight the Death Eaters we'll distract them as much as possible while Harry challenges Voldemort."
The room was full of earnest nodding heads.
"And we'll all live happily after?" Oh my giddy aunt, that was me. Despite a full year of Slytherin training, I'd broken Rule Number One: don't start a fight unless there's a secret back door, you have them outnumbered, and there are no credible witnesses.
"Excuse me?" Granger questioned.
"Sorry, that's my sister." Lee was apologetic.
"She's in Slytherin. Ignore her. What does she know?" The Weasley contribution. There's something about those Weasleys that just gets to me. I mean, Lee's normally everything anyone could ask for in a brother, but just get him around a Weasley and he transforms into a total prat. This time, I threw a wobbly.
I turned on the closest redhead and continued, "I think there may be a flaw in the plan." Oh, had no one dared question Granger before? She looked cabbaged. Or maybe her hair always did that. I was starting to enjoy the meeting after all. People were exchanging looks, but no one was trying to shut me up. They were only Gryffindors, after all. Slytherin upper years didn't tolerate my particular brand of "pertness"; the lesson had been beaten into me repeatedly in the common room.
I went on, "So you're a quasi-immortal evil overlord, and Potter here is the only one who can possibly do you in. Potter shows up to fight - are you going to stick around and compare wands? Any Dark Lord worth his title will have disapparated to Kuala Lumpur before you can say skiving snackboxes."
More slack jaws, although Granger was looking speculative.
"That's not very sportsmanlike..." from Potter. Please! And Lee thinks that he's going to save us all?
Granger came to a decision. "Right, what's your name? You're with Harry and me on the planning team."