Life is no more than a merry-go-round
Will someone please call a surgeon and crack my ribs and repair this broken heart, or they sing on my postal service ep. Here I am confused and not all at the same time. I have finally found a car to buy, that is wonderful and everything I want and a great deal. Its not anything impressive, but it runs, its safe and my insurance won't be tons and tons. So I call my parents to dicuss this, and I say, did you guys talk it over. Mom trying to be as noncommittal and fake as possible, says no, we were talking about other things. After like 10min of going round and round she admits that my dad's job may have been eliminated at the bank. So here I am feeling completely terrible for talking about something as expensive as a car when he found that out today. But then I think, its not like I'm asking them for any help whatsoever, so why do I still feel this way? I think because I feel finacially repsonsible for myself. Being so far away I've gotten used to paying for things I need, instead of calling home. Don't get me wrong, I still take every cent they give me, but over the past few months I've spent money on things my sisters would never dream of spending their money on. I've been paying for Rx's, co-pays for doctors visits, and more like my jaw splint. I'm not really complaining, in fact I hope it does not appear to be that, I'm used confused about how I am supposed to feel about everything right now. My parents still need to figure money out to get back out of the hole from oxford and now the wedding isn't helping. I want to go to Rome, but I don't want to do that to them. At the same time I can't make money without a car. So its a catch-22.