[Fanfic] Letter To You
Title: Letter To You
Author: ichijo_rui
Pairing: Heeshik
Rating: PG
Genre: angst
Summary: Hyungshik has never been well since Heechul left, but he finally try to let go..... or he just simply can't?
A/N: It's an after story for ( A Beloved Person ) a long forgotten one shot. I should have made it into only one chapter titled as "24 Hour To Be With You" but I don't have enough time to finish it =( so I cut it into two parts. This is the first part ><
It's inspired by Tackey & Tsubasa's Koi Uta PV
Heechul-ah,
How are you? Did you eat well?
To be honest, I’m not okay. I would never be okay ever since you left.
People told me to forget you. Siwannie hyung, Junyoung hyung, even Dongjun told me to stop mourning over your leave. But I just…….can’t.
You don’t know how much I regret it.
Hyung, please come back.
My life without you won’t be the same. The house I’m going to build; the yard and the dog that we will have later when we’re married, they won’t be the same if you’re not with me.
Hyung, I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry. If only, I didn’t come late, you would still be here.
I thought I didn’t have to hurry. I thought we could take it slow until our hair turned gray
I thought I could wait no matter how long it would takes to make yourself believe, that we’re truly belong to each other.
Guess my thoughts were wrong.
Hyung, do you see my tears flowing now?
Did you watch me from above when I spread your ashes into the sea?
Did you notice my pray to God, begging Him to bring you back to me?
Then why don’t you come back to me?
Been missing you,
Hyungshik
***
This is not the first time you write letter to me. I don’t know how many times I have seen you posting those letters, knowing that human’s post could not reach heaven.
Forget me, Hyungshik. Face it, I can’t be with you again. It’s not your fault. Not Kevin’s fault. It’s fate.
I’m sorry, if only I knew that I wouldn’t have much time with you, I wouldn’t hold my feeling any longer. I would cherish every second I could spend with you. To be honest, I was just too afraid to do so.
I’m sorry, Hyungshik. I’m sorry that I have to go this way.
Stop those tears already; tears never suit with your face.
Go on, you need to walk on and continue your life.
I’m sorry that I can’t be the one who stay with you in your future house.
Watch you from above,
Heechul.
***
Two people. Separated by fate.
The one who get left kept blaming himself every day. A part of himself blamed himself, another half part blaming Kevin who made him late and everyone who told him to forget his dearest. He’s sick with crying, enough to repeat his apologize every day. But him, whom he had been missing so much, would never come back. No matter how much tears he shed, how many letters he sent, those who died could never came back.
Hyungshik knew that. But still, he could not accept.
Every day, he would finish his letter and send it to the nearest post office. He would write “heaven” as its address, even though he knew that his letter wouldn’t reach heaven.
The other one, who’s watching him from above could do nothing but watching him. He felt guilty; he never thought that his death would give such a great impact to him. He wanted to embrace his dearest and told him that he’s sorry, that he loved him so much, but he couldn’t.
How cruel fate is.
===
“Shikkie, what are you doing?” Kevin walked into Hyungshik’s room. The younger hasn’t eaten anything since morning, so he made him an egg sandwich.
“Nothing.” Hyungshik quickly hid the letter he’s been writing behind his back and put a fake smile.
Kevin sighed, he put the dish on the desk and caressed Hyungshik’s hair. “You’re writing a letter to him again, aren’t you?”
The latter didn’t reply.
“Shikkie-ah, forget him already. It’s not going to reach his place, you know about it.” Kevin said. “I know I’m also guilty to him, but what’s done is done. We need to move on.”
“What’s done is done?” Hyungshik raised his voice. “It’s easy for you to say. You don’t know how it feels like. You said you’re sorry? Do you know how much I said sorry to him?!?!” He yelled. “But neither mine nor yours, that could reach him. And it’s painful here…” Hyungshik pointed his chest.
“Shikkie-ah…” Kevin sighed; tears started overflowing his eyes like the younger boy have done. “I’m sorry, I really am sorry. What can I do to redeem this sin? What can I do to bring your smile back?!” The man cried in front of Hyungshik.
Hyungshik didn’t reply. He knew, Kevin felt the same pain as him. He had no idea, how long he will bear this sadness.
“Hyungshik, promise me, this is for the sake of you and me,” Kevin held Hyungshik’s hands gently. “We have to move on. Promise me, this is going to be the last letter that you will write to him.”
Hyungshik bugged his eyes. “B-but…”
“Promise me Shikkie, you need to stop. Do you think he would be happy to see your tears?”
Hyungshik bit his lower lips. “No.” He murmured. “He wouldn’t be happy.”
He took out the letter from behind his back. “…let me re-write it. It will be the last.”
***
Hyungshik took a deep breath, he wiped his worn out eyes. The more he tried to stop crying, the more his tears fall, so the boy could not do anything but to let it all out.
This lonely feeling softly wrapped Hyungshik, drowned him into his last, saddest mourn. He spent three hours in the midnight, Heechul counted it from above, to finally being able to start writing his final letter. His love letter to Heechul.
Like a flower blooming in a narrow back alley,
No one notices that I’ve made my love bloom
Even though you were always beside my side, always within reach
I failed to notice, I was hanging my head in shame
I’m completely empty, not having wiped away the tears from that day
I remember my time with you again, I will never be able to forget it
Hey, do you remember? Can you hear it?
I think of it like something’s passed
But hey, that voice and mannerism
I still remember them
Those hurtful feelings stir up my heart again
Hey, I wonder if this sadness will turn into a smile someday
Can’t we see each other again? Perhaps once this pain has lessened
Heechul-hyung, I want to see you, I don’t mind if it’s an accidental meeting
The rain brings warmth to my little weary hearth
I sing a song for you sadly deep down inside my chest
Hey, I want to see you
Hey, Can’t we see each other again?
I’m thinking about this so much
Those hurtful feelings, they softly envelop this love poem
Heechul hyung, saranghae.
Can we meet each other again? Even if it’s only 24 hours?
Always missing you,
Hyungshik
Heechul cried; his chest hurt so much to see Hyungshik like this. How he wished he could wipe those tears.
***
The next morning, Hyungshik tied his love letter to a blue balloon-same color with the sky. He walked alone, passed through those pine trees at the boulevard and brought the balloon to a field, filled by reeds.
“Sayonara.” Hyungshik whispered; his hand let go of the balloon. Set it free to the sky. “I will stop writing, because I don’t want you to be sad.”
He gazed upon the bright sky for moments, staring at the balloon that flew far away. “But how do I suppose to walk on?” He cried in despair.
Heechul could only stare at him from behind.
“God, this is my only wish.” Hyungshik muttered, he knelt down and begging. “Please let me see him once again.”
“Hyungshik-ah…” Heechul hoarsely said. “Stop it. I’m dead already.”
“God, please…” Hyungshik repeated his wish.
Heechul cried, he repeated the word ‘mianhae’. Oh God, can you give us 24 hours to finish this endless sadness?
***
(to be continued)
Author: ichijo_rui
Pairing: Heeshik
Rating: PG
Genre: angst
Summary: Hyungshik has never been well since Heechul left, but he finally try to let go..... or he just simply can't?
A/N: It's an after story for ( A Beloved Person ) a long forgotten one shot. I should have made it into only one chapter titled as "24 Hour To Be With You" but I don't have enough time to finish it =( so I cut it into two parts. This is the first part ><
It's inspired by Tackey & Tsubasa's Koi Uta PV
Heechul-ah,
How are you? Did you eat well?
To be honest, I’m not okay. I would never be okay ever since you left.
People told me to forget you. Siwannie hyung, Junyoung hyung, even Dongjun told me to stop mourning over your leave. But I just…….can’t.
You don’t know how much I regret it.
Hyung, please come back.
My life without you won’t be the same. The house I’m going to build; the yard and the dog that we will have later when we’re married, they won’t be the same if you’re not with me.
Hyung, I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry. If only, I didn’t come late, you would still be here.
I thought I didn’t have to hurry. I thought we could take it slow until our hair turned gray
I thought I could wait no matter how long it would takes to make yourself believe, that we’re truly belong to each other.
Guess my thoughts were wrong.
Hyung, do you see my tears flowing now?
Did you watch me from above when I spread your ashes into the sea?
Did you notice my pray to God, begging Him to bring you back to me?
Then why don’t you come back to me?
Been missing you,
Hyungshik
***
This is not the first time you write letter to me. I don’t know how many times I have seen you posting those letters, knowing that human’s post could not reach heaven.
Forget me, Hyungshik. Face it, I can’t be with you again. It’s not your fault. Not Kevin’s fault. It’s fate.
I’m sorry, if only I knew that I wouldn’t have much time with you, I wouldn’t hold my feeling any longer. I would cherish every second I could spend with you. To be honest, I was just too afraid to do so.
I’m sorry, Hyungshik. I’m sorry that I have to go this way.
Stop those tears already; tears never suit with your face.
Go on, you need to walk on and continue your life.
I’m sorry that I can’t be the one who stay with you in your future house.
Watch you from above,
Heechul.
***
Two people. Separated by fate.
The one who get left kept blaming himself every day. A part of himself blamed himself, another half part blaming Kevin who made him late and everyone who told him to forget his dearest. He’s sick with crying, enough to repeat his apologize every day. But him, whom he had been missing so much, would never come back. No matter how much tears he shed, how many letters he sent, those who died could never came back.
Hyungshik knew that. But still, he could not accept.
Every day, he would finish his letter and send it to the nearest post office. He would write “heaven” as its address, even though he knew that his letter wouldn’t reach heaven.
The other one, who’s watching him from above could do nothing but watching him. He felt guilty; he never thought that his death would give such a great impact to him. He wanted to embrace his dearest and told him that he’s sorry, that he loved him so much, but he couldn’t.
How cruel fate is.
===
“Shikkie, what are you doing?” Kevin walked into Hyungshik’s room. The younger hasn’t eaten anything since morning, so he made him an egg sandwich.
“Nothing.” Hyungshik quickly hid the letter he’s been writing behind his back and put a fake smile.
Kevin sighed, he put the dish on the desk and caressed Hyungshik’s hair. “You’re writing a letter to him again, aren’t you?”
The latter didn’t reply.
“Shikkie-ah, forget him already. It’s not going to reach his place, you know about it.” Kevin said. “I know I’m also guilty to him, but what’s done is done. We need to move on.”
“What’s done is done?” Hyungshik raised his voice. “It’s easy for you to say. You don’t know how it feels like. You said you’re sorry? Do you know how much I said sorry to him?!?!” He yelled. “But neither mine nor yours, that could reach him. And it’s painful here…” Hyungshik pointed his chest.
“Shikkie-ah…” Kevin sighed; tears started overflowing his eyes like the younger boy have done. “I’m sorry, I really am sorry. What can I do to redeem this sin? What can I do to bring your smile back?!” The man cried in front of Hyungshik.
Hyungshik didn’t reply. He knew, Kevin felt the same pain as him. He had no idea, how long he will bear this sadness.
“Hyungshik, promise me, this is for the sake of you and me,” Kevin held Hyungshik’s hands gently. “We have to move on. Promise me, this is going to be the last letter that you will write to him.”
Hyungshik bugged his eyes. “B-but…”
“Promise me Shikkie, you need to stop. Do you think he would be happy to see your tears?”
Hyungshik bit his lower lips. “No.” He murmured. “He wouldn’t be happy.”
He took out the letter from behind his back. “…let me re-write it. It will be the last.”
***
Hyungshik took a deep breath, he wiped his worn out eyes. The more he tried to stop crying, the more his tears fall, so the boy could not do anything but to let it all out.
This lonely feeling softly wrapped Hyungshik, drowned him into his last, saddest mourn. He spent three hours in the midnight, Heechul counted it from above, to finally being able to start writing his final letter. His love letter to Heechul.
Like a flower blooming in a narrow back alley,
No one notices that I’ve made my love bloom
Even though you were always beside my side, always within reach
I failed to notice, I was hanging my head in shame
I’m completely empty, not having wiped away the tears from that day
I remember my time with you again, I will never be able to forget it
Hey, do you remember? Can you hear it?
I think of it like something’s passed
But hey, that voice and mannerism
I still remember them
Those hurtful feelings stir up my heart again
Hey, I wonder if this sadness will turn into a smile someday
Can’t we see each other again? Perhaps once this pain has lessened
Heechul-hyung, I want to see you, I don’t mind if it’s an accidental meeting
The rain brings warmth to my little weary hearth
I sing a song for you sadly deep down inside my chest
Hey, I want to see you
Hey, Can’t we see each other again?
I’m thinking about this so much
Those hurtful feelings, they softly envelop this love poem
Heechul hyung, saranghae.
Can we meet each other again? Even if it’s only 24 hours?
Always missing you,
Hyungshik
Heechul cried; his chest hurt so much to see Hyungshik like this. How he wished he could wipe those tears.
***
The next morning, Hyungshik tied his love letter to a blue balloon-same color with the sky. He walked alone, passed through those pine trees at the boulevard and brought the balloon to a field, filled by reeds.
“Sayonara.” Hyungshik whispered; his hand let go of the balloon. Set it free to the sky. “I will stop writing, because I don’t want you to be sad.”
He gazed upon the bright sky for moments, staring at the balloon that flew far away. “But how do I suppose to walk on?” He cried in despair.
Heechul could only stare at him from behind.
“God, this is my only wish.” Hyungshik muttered, he knelt down and begging. “Please let me see him once again.”
“Hyungshik-ah…” Heechul hoarsely said. “Stop it. I’m dead already.”
“God, please…” Hyungshik repeated his wish.
Heechul cried, he repeated the word ‘mianhae’. Oh God, can you give us 24 hours to finish this endless sadness?
***
(to be continued)