all it takes....my family...
all it takes is my family....
you think that one like myself would find happiness in the ones that love me most but i can't seem to....i can't find happiness in the ones that love me....nothing permanent...i guess something is seriously wrong...wrong with me...and no one can help me but myself...i find myself in a dark corner of my mind alone...it seems as though i have stopping searching....life doesn't intrigue me anymore...you would think that happiness would generate continuously with thought but a form of regret does instead...at least in my mind it does....i can't seem to keep happiness like i want....my issues and problems must be deep rooted because i trust no one with them...and the the people who know me best and know my some of my darkest secrets are nice enough to keep them and keep them silent from a certai point on...i truly am self-problematic....all i seek is acceptance....i used to seek it from others then my family..and i found people who do and did...i even found ones that understand my more unique interests....but as i age and grow into an adult one must re-adjust and establish an evolved form of acceptance from you family as a young adult with new and unique interests and attitudes and apparently i cannot....so i only find it to believe that something is wrong with me....because they have always been there..and i..have have been a distant person....even i don't get it....i don't trust them...i don't trust them like i should....my mother hates this....my sisters too.....my friends never see this.....my father...the person i have much respect and ungiven love for never sees this....he blames my mother for how i have become...an untrusting person....who seeks the complete trust of others....but i have begun to see my father in me...even more so lately....he too is secretive and untrusting.....i sit here typing this...trying to make sense of my mind....and i just can't....
my family breaks me....they do....they are the people i seek a new acceptance from and i have not received it yet so anything they say i cannot take....anything they don't understand is destructive....they destroy me...they change me.....it like a punishment/reinforcement to not trust anyone.....the ones the love me most break me hardest.....
perhaps i am just a weak individual....i'm probably not capable to deal with life properly.....i go seeking help and someone to listen...but i find no one....they are never there..and i trust few with my problems and they are never there.......so this rage and hatred builds inside....only to boil and build and hurt only myself because....all because i am incapable of dealing with life by myself....but i have always been by myself...it's how i've always felt.....if i could live in my dreams i would...
but i guess....all it takes is my family.....
you think that one like myself would find happiness in the ones that love me most but i can't seem to....i can't find happiness in the ones that love me....nothing permanent...i guess something is seriously wrong...wrong with me...and no one can help me but myself...i find myself in a dark corner of my mind alone...it seems as though i have stopping searching....life doesn't intrigue me anymore...you would think that happiness would generate continuously with thought but a form of regret does instead...at least in my mind it does....i can't seem to keep happiness like i want....my issues and problems must be deep rooted because i trust no one with them...and the the people who know me best and know my some of my darkest secrets are nice enough to keep them and keep them silent from a certai point on...i truly am self-problematic....all i seek is acceptance....i used to seek it from others then my family..and i found people who do and did...i even found ones that understand my more unique interests....but as i age and grow into an adult one must re-adjust and establish an evolved form of acceptance from you family as a young adult with new and unique interests and attitudes and apparently i cannot....so i only find it to believe that something is wrong with me....because they have always been there..and i..have have been a distant person....even i don't get it....i don't trust them...i don't trust them like i should....my mother hates this....my sisters too.....my friends never see this.....my father...the person i have much respect and ungiven love for never sees this....he blames my mother for how i have become...an untrusting person....who seeks the complete trust of others....but i have begun to see my father in me...even more so lately....he too is secretive and untrusting.....i sit here typing this...trying to make sense of my mind....and i just can't....
my family breaks me....they do....they are the people i seek a new acceptance from and i have not received it yet so anything they say i cannot take....anything they don't understand is destructive....they destroy me...they change me.....it like a punishment/reinforcement to not trust anyone.....the ones the love me most break me hardest.....
perhaps i am just a weak individual....i'm probably not capable to deal with life properly.....i go seeking help and someone to listen...but i find no one....they are never there..and i trust few with my problems and they are never there.......so this rage and hatred builds inside....only to boil and build and hurt only myself because....all because i am incapable of dealing with life by myself....but i have always been by myself...it's how i've always felt.....if i could live in my dreams i would...
but i guess....all it takes is my family.....