(no subject)

[icedlibertine]

So it happened, I broke up with Donnie thursday night. I just couldn't take it. I really don't know whats going on because his phone is broke and he hasn't called me back. I am so scared hes going to just say "Fuck it Sara its not worth it". Thats all i do when I'm alone is picture him hating me for this and I hate myself so much right now. I'm such a mess but I'm kinda glad he doesn't have to see me like this. But I really miss him here since my parents are gone and thats usually my favorite time with him is alone. I had Marco come over and we got trashed. I went to Ryans the night before because I've been getting bored at Lauras, nothing against you Laura promise. I am so scared to talk to Donnie but I think its going to help hearing where he's coming from and what hes feeling. It feels like I threw my happiness out the door, but in reality I hadn't been too happy lately so I'm really hoping things get better. I'm home alone and it sucks because guess whats going thru my mind- yepp Donnie. Weather I screwed up and he's ok, I don't know I'm out of it. I think I'm making myself sick, just like last year when I almost went to Central... its something I didn't want to do but was in a way being forced to (until i said something)

Well another thing that happened is I went to breakfast/lunch with Kristina and Sherri. It was different. No fighting. I ended up calling Kristina because he boyfriend is in the hospital fighting to stay. I don't want to say too much because it's a shitty situation but I do hope the best for them.

I have nothing to do I got called into work but I don't want to go cuz my eyes are all swollen and I'm not sure how I will handle myself at work I'm so scared, anyways I'm leaving