(no subject)
Yesterday I went to Brians and had a good time. Brian, Zeek, Debbie *brians very pretty girlfriend*, Larry, some other guy and *my favorite* Ryan. For everyone who doesn't know Ryan he fucking rocks. He would be my body guard if I ever needed one. He is the coolest guy and I feel safe around him. I don't have to worry about him getting me drunk to take advantage of me (not saying I usually have to worry around guys, but if Ryans there I dont have to worry about any guys there). I always have fun doing stupid ass shit with him. I told him I wanted to finish the 5th of Bacardi that he got last Christmas and I haven't talked to him in like 3-4 months I would say and he still has it. I was shocked!
Anyways I am sooooo bored. Donnie said he would go home early (around 8) to be with me but I guess I'm not worth it because I'm still waiting for his call. I was reading a few of my old journal entries from like 3 years ago and noticed I'm havin some of the same problems I have had in past relationships. Only before I was being hoe'd out for girls, not friends. Also I was reading how I was happy that I was seeing my boyfriend often, I guess I don't like being hoe'd out and like seeing them often, I wonder if I'm going to have to get used to the opposite if I want things to last. It sucks ass but nothing is perfect and I think it's kind of sick to try and picture myself with someone else. I don't want to sleep in anyone elses bed or hug any other guy. It sucks because things haven't been the greatest and I dont know what I should do, or if there is any hope left. Things will be fine one minute, or one day... and the next I'm crazy and worrying and being 'not happy with anything'. I wouldn't want to be around myself either but to tell you the truth all I want to do is be the best girlfriend. I want someone to be glad to see me, and I am fine with Donnie until I start thinking he is about to leave and ditch me to go with his friends. He like has to see them everyday, I wish it was me he had to see. It hurts and I don't think I would freak out if I knew that when he left I would see him when he says he's going to next. I hate not knowing when I'm going to see him or when he's going to call if he calls at all. He's not an asshole and doesn't treat me bad, and I think its because he's a guy, and guys suck.
This is getting long and probably boring the shit out of pretty much everyone whos attempting to finish reading this so yeah I'm done... have a great day!
Anyways I am sooooo bored. Donnie said he would go home early (around 8) to be with me but I guess I'm not worth it because I'm still waiting for his call. I was reading a few of my old journal entries from like 3 years ago and noticed I'm havin some of the same problems I have had in past relationships. Only before I was being hoe'd out for girls, not friends. Also I was reading how I was happy that I was seeing my boyfriend often, I guess I don't like being hoe'd out and like seeing them often, I wonder if I'm going to have to get used to the opposite if I want things to last. It sucks ass but nothing is perfect and I think it's kind of sick to try and picture myself with someone else. I don't want to sleep in anyone elses bed or hug any other guy. It sucks because things haven't been the greatest and I dont know what I should do, or if there is any hope left. Things will be fine one minute, or one day... and the next I'm crazy and worrying and being 'not happy with anything'. I wouldn't want to be around myself either but to tell you the truth all I want to do is be the best girlfriend. I want someone to be glad to see me, and I am fine with Donnie until I start thinking he is about to leave and ditch me to go with his friends. He like has to see them everyday, I wish it was me he had to see. It hurts and I don't think I would freak out if I knew that when he left I would see him when he says he's going to next. I hate not knowing when I'm going to see him or when he's going to call if he calls at all. He's not an asshole and doesn't treat me bad, and I think its because he's a guy, and guys suck.
This is getting long and probably boring the shit out of pretty much everyone whos attempting to finish reading this so yeah I'm done... have a great day!