fic: the closest to heaven; author's note
It's been a long time since I've updated this fic. I've held off because I really wanted to give it the time and effort it deserves. Well, now it's done and the only thing left is editing spelling and grammar so I'm going to go ahead and start posting again. But before I do, there are some things that need to be said.
I’ve mentioned before how very close this fic hits to home, and in reality, the emotional attachment to it is what’s kept me writing. I’m not really involved in the Glee fandom anymore, and I’ve become a pretty casual watcher (well, for the most part).
I’ve also mentioned before that this is the last Klaine multichap I plan to write. I’ve been working on something with Lyssa, and even that has been difficult to pull inspiration for. I just can’t write Kurt and Blaine like I used to, and I think it’s time to put in the towel. And I have to say - what a way to go out.
This is one of my heaviest and darkest pieces, and it’s also the one I’m most proud of, the one I pulled the most honest and real emotion for. Because you see - this fictional story is based on three very real stories. Very real stories of people who are close to me - a friend, a family member, and myself.
When I first came on this website, I had a very close friend who was being bullied daily, and it became so bad he considered suicide. He’s better now - happy and healthy and out and proud, but it was hard at the time.
In both seventh and tenth grade, a family member of mine was in the hospital for purely mental reasons. They were depressed and suicidal, and that’s when a lot of things came to light for me.
For me, symptoms of depression have been evident since I was young. Towards the end of ninth grade, they resurfaced, and then things really skyrocketed my sophomore year. I started cutting, started considering suicide, and once, I came close to committing. However, I couldn’t find the means, and quickly lost the energy to look any further. Instead, I talked to a friend, and she calmed me down. I cried myself to sleep that night and knew that I was close to rock bottom. Getting better seemed like such a foreign concept to me. I wanted to get help, but I never thought I’d be brave enough.
However, very recently, I found the courage, and my first appointment with a psychiatrist is scheduled for December.
This story - this is mine, and my friends, and my family member’s all wrapped into one. Yes, it’s story about Kurt and Blaine finding love in a very dark and seemingly hopeless place, but it’s also my confessions. I’ve slipped in all of my experiences and my knowledge into Blaine’s character. And hey - they say, “write what you know”, right?
This story is also a dedication. It’s a dedication to my friend and my family member and the two of them getting better. It’s a dedication to my newfound courage and my path to doing the same. It’s a dedication to any of you have experienced what Blaine has - secondhand or personally, whether you’ve gotten better or you’re still struggling. I just want you to know that you’re never,never alone, and if you’ve recovered - my highest of congratulations. You’re so brave and so strong for doing so, and I admire you for that. If you’re struggling, keep fighting. And I know you’ve probably heard it a million times, but it does get better, and you have to let yourself believe that or you won’t get anywhere. I’m here for you, my tumblr askbox is always open, and I’ll always be willing to do my best to help you. And if it’s too big for me? If I can’t help enough - I’ll send you to someone who can. A friend, a hotline, whatever it is you prefer and/or need. You can do this. You’re not alone, you’re special, and you deserve to be happy.
And with that, I’ll leave you.
Grab some tissues, and maybe your comfiest pillow/stuffed animal for hugging, and enjoy the fic.
I’ve mentioned before how very close this fic hits to home, and in reality, the emotional attachment to it is what’s kept me writing. I’m not really involved in the Glee fandom anymore, and I’ve become a pretty casual watcher (well, for the most part).
I’ve also mentioned before that this is the last Klaine multichap I plan to write. I’ve been working on something with Lyssa, and even that has been difficult to pull inspiration for. I just can’t write Kurt and Blaine like I used to, and I think it’s time to put in the towel. And I have to say - what a way to go out.
This is one of my heaviest and darkest pieces, and it’s also the one I’m most proud of, the one I pulled the most honest and real emotion for. Because you see - this fictional story is based on three very real stories. Very real stories of people who are close to me - a friend, a family member, and myself.
When I first came on this website, I had a very close friend who was being bullied daily, and it became so bad he considered suicide. He’s better now - happy and healthy and out and proud, but it was hard at the time.
In both seventh and tenth grade, a family member of mine was in the hospital for purely mental reasons. They were depressed and suicidal, and that’s when a lot of things came to light for me.
For me, symptoms of depression have been evident since I was young. Towards the end of ninth grade, they resurfaced, and then things really skyrocketed my sophomore year. I started cutting, started considering suicide, and once, I came close to committing. However, I couldn’t find the means, and quickly lost the energy to look any further. Instead, I talked to a friend, and she calmed me down. I cried myself to sleep that night and knew that I was close to rock bottom. Getting better seemed like such a foreign concept to me. I wanted to get help, but I never thought I’d be brave enough.
However, very recently, I found the courage, and my first appointment with a psychiatrist is scheduled for December.
This story - this is mine, and my friends, and my family member’s all wrapped into one. Yes, it’s story about Kurt and Blaine finding love in a very dark and seemingly hopeless place, but it’s also my confessions. I’ve slipped in all of my experiences and my knowledge into Blaine’s character. And hey - they say, “write what you know”, right?
This story is also a dedication. It’s a dedication to my friend and my family member and the two of them getting better. It’s a dedication to my newfound courage and my path to doing the same. It’s a dedication to any of you have experienced what Blaine has - secondhand or personally, whether you’ve gotten better or you’re still struggling. I just want you to know that you’re never,never alone, and if you’ve recovered - my highest of congratulations. You’re so brave and so strong for doing so, and I admire you for that. If you’re struggling, keep fighting. And I know you’ve probably heard it a million times, but it does get better, and you have to let yourself believe that or you won’t get anywhere. I’m here for you, my tumblr askbox is always open, and I’ll always be willing to do my best to help you. And if it’s too big for me? If I can’t help enough - I’ll send you to someone who can. A friend, a hotline, whatever it is you prefer and/or need. You can do this. You’re not alone, you’re special, and you deserve to be happy.
And with that, I’ll leave you.
Grab some tissues, and maybe your comfiest pillow/stuffed animal for hugging, and enjoy the fic.