On feminine beauty standards. Re: body hair
I shaved my legs the other day so as to wear a dress without offending anyone. I don't personally find body hair to be offensive, but it's not just about the hair itself, is it?
I typically avoid shaving, but I also avoid showing off parts of my body that are considered must-shave areas with the exception of my face, which fortunately, grows much less hair than my armpits do.
To be honest, it's probably been about since my last posting here since I shaved last, so I had a good deal of hair to get rid of! And as I carefully and painstakingly removed it, attempting to bleed as little as possible, no matter how long that would take me, I wondered when not shaving became such an act of feminist defiance.
Shaving is a relatively recent practice, if I recall, and yet it is so pervasive, that it is more remarkable to not act than it is to spend time, money, and potentially blood and tears to do so. In popular culture, people make jokes about men that shave their legs and the particular pain that comes with waxing. Any woman or person who lives with a woman who regularly removes her body hair can attest to the amount of time it takes, and a quick trip to the grocery store or pharmacy will show you how much money goes into this practice.
It's interesting how important it is, to be properly feminine, to be attractive at all, to remove a part of your body, to modify yourself, to go out of your way not to mark yourself as different, but to say, "I'm the same, I belong."
This is, of course, related to our broader beauty culture, the one that says we need to wear make-up, need to be thin, blonde and blue-eyed (is that still the narrative?), that our skin should be a "healthy" tan, but it can't be too dark either. The thing is, if you hate yourself for failing to be thin and blonde and whatever enough, you can be forgiven if not attractive. But not shaving isn't just something to be ashamed of -- it's bad hygiene! Because body hair is so dirty! Except when it's on men, or coming out of your scalp! -- but also considered a conscious act of defiance against the status quo.
I wonder, in that vein, if being fat is reviled for the same reason. There's the same sort of shaming involved for neglecting your health -- because apparently thin = healthy and not thin = not healthy -- and losing weight is culturally seen as something that you can do with enough will-power. Everyone is expected to love good food, and yet, no one is supposed to actually eat any of it. I've actually made me realize that the same sort of shame I feel from eating a cookie in public or purchasing candy from the convenience store twice in the same week is similar to accidentally showing off a bit of my unshaved legs.
I wonder what it is that makes not putting in effort or, in the case of other beauty standards achieving the physically impossible, so shameful. Certainly part of it is that you are removing yourself from being "attractive," which is a coercive enough idea -- do X or be ugly -- without the added problem that beauty is so highly valued, perhaps above all other traits that a woman might possess (or not possess), but you are also removing yourself from the cultural conformity of what it means to be feminine. Doing what you want with your body is defiance, a political statement. Does the shame come from not being attractive? Or does it come from having the audacity to stand up and wrest away a bit of power from the broader culture to be allowed to have some autonomy over your body?
I typically avoid shaving, but I also avoid showing off parts of my body that are considered must-shave areas with the exception of my face, which fortunately, grows much less hair than my armpits do.
To be honest, it's probably been about since my last posting here since I shaved last, so I had a good deal of hair to get rid of! And as I carefully and painstakingly removed it, attempting to bleed as little as possible, no matter how long that would take me, I wondered when not shaving became such an act of feminist defiance.
Shaving is a relatively recent practice, if I recall, and yet it is so pervasive, that it is more remarkable to not act than it is to spend time, money, and potentially blood and tears to do so. In popular culture, people make jokes about men that shave their legs and the particular pain that comes with waxing. Any woman or person who lives with a woman who regularly removes her body hair can attest to the amount of time it takes, and a quick trip to the grocery store or pharmacy will show you how much money goes into this practice.
It's interesting how important it is, to be properly feminine, to be attractive at all, to remove a part of your body, to modify yourself, to go out of your way not to mark yourself as different, but to say, "I'm the same, I belong."
This is, of course, related to our broader beauty culture, the one that says we need to wear make-up, need to be thin, blonde and blue-eyed (is that still the narrative?), that our skin should be a "healthy" tan, but it can't be too dark either. The thing is, if you hate yourself for failing to be thin and blonde and whatever enough, you can be forgiven if not attractive. But not shaving isn't just something to be ashamed of -- it's bad hygiene! Because body hair is so dirty! Except when it's on men, or coming out of your scalp! -- but also considered a conscious act of defiance against the status quo.
I wonder, in that vein, if being fat is reviled for the same reason. There's the same sort of shaming involved for neglecting your health -- because apparently thin = healthy and not thin = not healthy -- and losing weight is culturally seen as something that you can do with enough will-power. Everyone is expected to love good food, and yet, no one is supposed to actually eat any of it. I've actually made me realize that the same sort of shame I feel from eating a cookie in public or purchasing candy from the convenience store twice in the same week is similar to accidentally showing off a bit of my unshaved legs.
I wonder what it is that makes not putting in effort or, in the case of other beauty standards achieving the physically impossible, so shameful. Certainly part of it is that you are removing yourself from being "attractive," which is a coercive enough idea -- do X or be ugly -- without the added problem that beauty is so highly valued, perhaps above all other traits that a woman might possess (or not possess), but you are also removing yourself from the cultural conformity of what it means to be feminine. Doing what you want with your body is defiance, a political statement. Does the shame come from not being attractive? Or does it come from having the audacity to stand up and wrest away a bit of power from the broader culture to be allowed to have some autonomy over your body?