(no subject)
You know, I'm not even going to say I'm surprised that I haven't posted in so long, because well, I'm not.
If I am to actually start using this again, I going to make a superior effort to not just recount everything I've done throughout this day (or, in this post's situation, the last four months).
I think I'd actually have more posts on here about my daily insights if I could just hook the internet up to my brain. I get small little insights at various parts of the day and I typically forget them before I actually sit back down again.
Basically, I'm totally ready for college to just be over. I never thought I'd actually be saying this, but I am. Sadly enough, I have a strange desire to get a master's degree in something, so I know this grind is just going to have to continue.
I'm going to have to find a paid internship for the summer, and hopefully they'll hire me on as full time when I'm done with school. That way, hopefully I'll have someone to take care of paying my school bills.
I've stopped going to the Tuesday night college group services at my church. Tomorrow will be an exception because the guy that will be speaking overrides any gripes I have about the ministry or the people in it.
My reasoning for not going includes the consistent feeling of being left out by the people in the ministry. After trying hard to try to fit in (well, more honestly I was trying real hard for a girlfriend out of neediness), about a year or so ago, I decided to make a complete radical change to how I acted and where I went in the ministry. On Wednesday nights, I started to run words and did very little socializing, and on Sundays I would go to both contemporary services to work the booth; I essentially became a ghost.
I didn't want to completely disappear and be seen as a bum, so I would sit on the front row (as I had before) before the second service where the people I know would come in. This time, though, I would always make my exit for the booth before the service started.
About the same time, most of the people I knew from career and the older college students that didn't go to Wednesdays anyways, moved or left the church. That left very few people to go to lunch with afterward.
Through all that, only one person ever asked where I went. One. I should have realized right then an there the source of my problem, but stubborn as always, I pressed onward.
The contemporary service now meets in te worship center, and due to its size, I don't take the time to sit down front anymore, although because of this switch, I have been able to (most of the time) make it to Sunday School. I went back to David's guys-only class and I feel it's helped me (however slightly) get fed like I need to be.
And I'm nitpicking about one thing again. I feel like so much is happening right now and I'd rather just be able to sit down an wait for it to all be over. I mentioned a long time ago in a post that ambition is killer, and I feel as though I have to decide the fate of my entire life in just the next few weeks with this internship and then summer and then a job and the rest of my life.
I got the idea about a week ago when I was reading this air & space magazine that it would absolutely be amazing to be an astronaut and go to the moon or even mars. That would definitely satisfy my ambition, not that I really think I'm good enough to pull any of that off.
Mainly because someone with an IT degree that is really good for computers isn't exactly the kind of person that is in great demand on the surface of the moon right now.
If I am to actually start using this again, I going to make a superior effort to not just recount everything I've done throughout this day (or, in this post's situation, the last four months).
I think I'd actually have more posts on here about my daily insights if I could just hook the internet up to my brain. I get small little insights at various parts of the day and I typically forget them before I actually sit back down again.
Basically, I'm totally ready for college to just be over. I never thought I'd actually be saying this, but I am. Sadly enough, I have a strange desire to get a master's degree in something, so I know this grind is just going to have to continue.
I'm going to have to find a paid internship for the summer, and hopefully they'll hire me on as full time when I'm done with school. That way, hopefully I'll have someone to take care of paying my school bills.
I've stopped going to the Tuesday night college group services at my church. Tomorrow will be an exception because the guy that will be speaking overrides any gripes I have about the ministry or the people in it.
My reasoning for not going includes the consistent feeling of being left out by the people in the ministry. After trying hard to try to fit in (well, more honestly I was trying real hard for a girlfriend out of neediness), about a year or so ago, I decided to make a complete radical change to how I acted and where I went in the ministry. On Wednesday nights, I started to run words and did very little socializing, and on Sundays I would go to both contemporary services to work the booth; I essentially became a ghost.
I didn't want to completely disappear and be seen as a bum, so I would sit on the front row (as I had before) before the second service where the people I know would come in. This time, though, I would always make my exit for the booth before the service started.
About the same time, most of the people I knew from career and the older college students that didn't go to Wednesdays anyways, moved or left the church. That left very few people to go to lunch with afterward.
Through all that, only one person ever asked where I went. One. I should have realized right then an there the source of my problem, but stubborn as always, I pressed onward.
The contemporary service now meets in te worship center, and due to its size, I don't take the time to sit down front anymore, although because of this switch, I have been able to (most of the time) make it to Sunday School. I went back to David's guys-only class and I feel it's helped me (however slightly) get fed like I need to be.
And I'm nitpicking about one thing again. I feel like so much is happening right now and I'd rather just be able to sit down an wait for it to all be over. I mentioned a long time ago in a post that ambition is killer, and I feel as though I have to decide the fate of my entire life in just the next few weeks with this internship and then summer and then a job and the rest of my life.
I got the idea about a week ago when I was reading this air & space magazine that it would absolutely be amazing to be an astronaut and go to the moon or even mars. That would definitely satisfy my ambition, not that I really think I'm good enough to pull any of that off.
Mainly because someone with an IT degree that is really good for computers isn't exactly the kind of person that is in great demand on the surface of the moon right now.