[Ongoing] Maybe Forever - Ohmiya (Chapter 16)
Maybe Forever | Ongoing | Chapter 15 | Angst. Drama | NC-17 | beta by : asdfghjklalala (thank you ^.^)
Disclaimer: nope. I don't own Ohno or Nino or Jun or Arashi. they belong to themselves. no profit taken from this, except for some stress reliever.
A smile grazed Ohno’s lips when he woke up and saw Nino looking at him with his beautiful warm eyes. It was breath taking, that he wondered what he did to deserve this beautiful guy in front of him.
He didn’t deserve any of this at all. But the way they are now with Nino lying next to him, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting more, wanting all, wanting Nino all to himself. He was enjoying everything with the man next to him, his presence, the warmth he bring, every moment becomes treasure as long as it is with Nino.
“I miss that,” Ohno said but Nino only looked at him with a questioning frown on his forehead. “You always did that before-staring at my sleeping face.”
Nino chuckled.
“You’re saying you miss this but way back then this was nothing to you, right?”
“Nino-“
“I mean, there’s no way you would miss me during those times when you were together with her-“
Her. There was definitely something off with how Nino said it. There’s no doubt that jealousy and sadness were with his words.
Ohno watched as Nino shifted his position, positioning himself to sit at the edge of the bed. The scenery was like a déjà vu; with him lying by his side and Nino’s back facing him. Last time when it happened, Nino left and never returned. Having the image inside his head, fear rushed in him and he quickly sat down right behind Nino to hug him from the back with their bare bodies against each other.
“Kazu-“
“At this point, despising the past won’t do me any favour, Oh-chan. It is your past, your happiness and you have the right to enjoy your life without me. But while I have my time, I wish I could enjoy them, I wish I could enjoy my time properly with you,” Nino said.
Ohno fell silent. His embrace tightened around the man while enjoying the warmth building up between the two of them.
Nino was right. It was his past. A past he chose for the sake of the norm. Was he even sure with the love he felt for Miyuki 5 years ago? Was love the reason he chose Miyuki over Nino and not something else?
It took him 5 years to finally come to a realization that his decision back then was a mistake. By not wanting to stray from what’s norm, he chose Miyuki over Nino. He was scared of how people will judge him because he was dating someone of the same gender. It was unbearable for him to know that people will look at him differently because of the person he dates, it was embarrassing and he knew he couldn’t take such embarrassment. That’s why when Miyuki came, he knew he had found a door leading him to escape his dilemma.
What a big jerk I was, he thought. Nino deserved the happiness he couldn't give yet he took it away when he decided to be selfish, taking Nino away from Jun, a guy who surely would give Nino the happiness he needed.
Jun's message last night appeared suddenly inside his memory. The man wanted to meet him, the reason was not mentioned but Ohno knew it was of something with importance to the extent that Jun refused to say it over the message.
He kept silent while embracing Nino. It was blissful and calming that he felt guilty for feeling it. His palm could feel Nino's heart beating inside his chest, before he felt a tug inside his own. Nino's heart is beating now, but for how long? For he knew, his partner was running out of time.
Slowly, he let go, letting Nino move freely. He intently watched in silence with every move the man made, being aware of the pain the man was holding in.
“You’re not working today?” Nino asked as he put on his shirt. Ohno shook his head.
“I stopped working ever since-”Ohno paused, considering if he should tell Nino about it. But then, he saw Nino shrugged. Ohno took it as a hint that he didn't need to continue it.
“So what's your plan for today?” Nino asked again.
“I’m meeting a friend.” Ohno answered short before he continued. “It’s just for a while. I'm sure it won't take me more than 2 hours,”
“Can’t you make it one?” Nino replied then laughed right after he saw Ohno’s frown. “I’m just joking, Oh-chan. But actually, I was thinking about cooking breakfast for you,”
“Nuh-uh.” Ohno stopped him. He made his way to Nino, grabbed him by his arms to make the man to face him. “I’m going to cook for you Nino-”
“But you're going out!”
“That will just be a cup of coffee type of meeting, Nino. I'll cook for you and we'll have our breakfast together. No more words,” he said, putting his finger on Nino's lips when Nino was about to say something more. “Now go and take a bath. I'll prepare something for you.”
Nino nodded nonchalantly. Ohno didn't wait for Nino to say something when he saw him take the towel hanging near the bathroom. Right after the man had closed the bathroom door, he left the room heading to the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast for them.
It sure was a blissful life, he thought. They were having breakfast together in silence but it’s not awkward at all, then there’s these meaningful glances they share every moment that will leave them both smiling goofily.
Ohno didn't blame Nino when the guy showed less interest in the food in front of him. He was aware of the fact that Nino was suffering a disease that made him lose appetite. As he watch the man take a bite, he started realizing how worst Nino’s condition was.
“Does it tastes bad?” Ohno asked, trying to joke around. “The sandwiches”
Nino didn't shake or nod. Slowly, he put down his sandwich onto his plate before he stared at Ohno. The man looked skinny than what he remembered. Since when did Ohno became this skinny? Was it since the time Miyuki had left them? Or was it because he had been a burden to the man? Nino never dare to ask, he’ll end up hurting anyway.
He was grateful with having Ohno by his side, he was truly grateful with it. Ohno never failed to let him know how much he loved him, though deep inside Nino wasn't convinced. He knew he was being selfish but how can he forget the pain he had been feeling these past years? He simply couldn't.
“Nino-”
“So, who's this lucky girl you're going to meet later, Oh-chan? Or is it a guy?” Nino asked, quickly changing the topic when Ohno was about to speak. He saw Ohno sighed, perhaps disappointed by his question.
“You know I won't-”
“Why not?” Nino asked. “I won't last that long, Oh-chan. You need to find someone who can accompany you till the end-”
“I don't want anyone to replace Miyuki or you.” Ohno snapped, his voice raised a pitch. “Sorry. But I really mean it. Not now. Not ever.”
They both fell silent.
Nino could hear sincerity in the man's words. He knew Ohno meant it. But he perfectly understood that he shouldn’t be greedy by wanting Ohno to stay by him forever. He knew how painful it was to long for love he can never have. With him not having much time, surely Ohno would be left alone. He was sure that that was not what Miyuki has been wanting from him when she requested him to love Ohno again before.
“I’m going to meet Matsumoto-san,” Ohno said, breaking his thoughts. Instantly, his eyes widen, surprised by the information Ohno had told him.
“Why?” Nino asked. His face was unexplainably blank.
“He wants to. My instinct tells me I should-”
“My instinct tells me you shouldn’t.” Nino cut him. There’s a tone of panic in the way he spoke, his eyes met Ohno, trying to tell how serious he was when he said it. “I know Jun-kun. Stop burdening him.”
“Nino-“
“Please. I beg you.”
Ohno heaved a sigh. Though he wasn’t sure about it, Ohno could feel that Jun had something to tell. Something that came with hope. And Ohno knew Nino could feel the same.
There was sadness in the way Nino was gazing at him, but he couldn’t lose hope. If meeting Jun would bring them a happy news, Ohno preferred it that way. Even if by doing it, he’s going to lose Nino.
“I don't want to lose hope, Nino.”
“You're talking about my life here, Oh-chan. You shouldn't decide for me,”
“But I want you to keep on living.”
“Of course! I want to keep on living too. But not by using the one who sincerely loved me! I can't keep being in Jun-kun’s favour for the rest of my life when I have nothing to give him in return!”
Nino was enraged, his breath was uneven, his shoulders moved up and down as he tried to catch his breath. They fell silent once Nino finished his words; they were staring at each other with thousands of expression and emotions filling the gap between them.
Nino was right but Nino didn't have to give anything, Ohno would. After all, he was the one who took Nino away from Jun.
He didn't manage to talk more when Nino pushed his chair, brought his plates to the kitchen and left Ohno alone in the living room. He was perplexed and confused by his own decision. He didn't deserved Nino, but letting the man die without doing any effort, Ohno refused it. He had enough of being a selfish jerk. He needs to compensate for the pain he brought to Nino’s life, for hurting Nino, for taking Nino away from the one who would love him best and for being unable to donate let alone cure the man. He did all these horrible stuff to Nino and now he needed this misery to end.
His train of thoughts stopped abruptly when he heard the sound of the glasses crashed on the floor. For instant, his face turned white, thinking that the sound came from the kitchen and Nino's name slipped pass his lips.
Just when he rushed to the kitchen, Nino was already on the floor unconscious and there’s blood.
His hands shook, his legs jellied as he knelt next to the man, dialling a number on his phone.
“Matsumoto-san. Nino…” he tried to speak when the person at the other line picked up the call but nothing came out of his mouth.
At that moment, all he wished was for God to take him instead.
____________________________________________________
A/N :Sorry for the late update. now, on the next one, will the final chapter. I have an epilogue ready but not the last chapter, how silly is that? Anyway, who would you love Nino to end up with? Mind you, the epilogue is Nino-jun ending but if, majority wants Ohno to have a chance, i will leave out the epilogue and let Ohno has Nino as the ending.
so... voting time!
Poll ENDING
have a nice day everyone
Disclaimer: nope. I don't own Ohno or Nino or Jun or Arashi. they belong to themselves. no profit taken from this, except for some stress reliever.
A smile grazed Ohno’s lips when he woke up and saw Nino looking at him with his beautiful warm eyes. It was breath taking, that he wondered what he did to deserve this beautiful guy in front of him.
He didn’t deserve any of this at all. But the way they are now with Nino lying next to him, he couldn’t stop himself from wanting more, wanting all, wanting Nino all to himself. He was enjoying everything with the man next to him, his presence, the warmth he bring, every moment becomes treasure as long as it is with Nino.
“I miss that,” Ohno said but Nino only looked at him with a questioning frown on his forehead. “You always did that before-staring at my sleeping face.”
Nino chuckled.
“You’re saying you miss this but way back then this was nothing to you, right?”
“Nino-“
“I mean, there’s no way you would miss me during those times when you were together with her-“
Her. There was definitely something off with how Nino said it. There’s no doubt that jealousy and sadness were with his words.
Ohno watched as Nino shifted his position, positioning himself to sit at the edge of the bed. The scenery was like a déjà vu; with him lying by his side and Nino’s back facing him. Last time when it happened, Nino left and never returned. Having the image inside his head, fear rushed in him and he quickly sat down right behind Nino to hug him from the back with their bare bodies against each other.
“Kazu-“
“At this point, despising the past won’t do me any favour, Oh-chan. It is your past, your happiness and you have the right to enjoy your life without me. But while I have my time, I wish I could enjoy them, I wish I could enjoy my time properly with you,” Nino said.
Ohno fell silent. His embrace tightened around the man while enjoying the warmth building up between the two of them.
Nino was right. It was his past. A past he chose for the sake of the norm. Was he even sure with the love he felt for Miyuki 5 years ago? Was love the reason he chose Miyuki over Nino and not something else?
It took him 5 years to finally come to a realization that his decision back then was a mistake. By not wanting to stray from what’s norm, he chose Miyuki over Nino. He was scared of how people will judge him because he was dating someone of the same gender. It was unbearable for him to know that people will look at him differently because of the person he dates, it was embarrassing and he knew he couldn’t take such embarrassment. That’s why when Miyuki came, he knew he had found a door leading him to escape his dilemma.
What a big jerk I was, he thought. Nino deserved the happiness he couldn't give yet he took it away when he decided to be selfish, taking Nino away from Jun, a guy who surely would give Nino the happiness he needed.
Jun's message last night appeared suddenly inside his memory. The man wanted to meet him, the reason was not mentioned but Ohno knew it was of something with importance to the extent that Jun refused to say it over the message.
He kept silent while embracing Nino. It was blissful and calming that he felt guilty for feeling it. His palm could feel Nino's heart beating inside his chest, before he felt a tug inside his own. Nino's heart is beating now, but for how long? For he knew, his partner was running out of time.
Slowly, he let go, letting Nino move freely. He intently watched in silence with every move the man made, being aware of the pain the man was holding in.
“You’re not working today?” Nino asked as he put on his shirt. Ohno shook his head.
“I stopped working ever since-”Ohno paused, considering if he should tell Nino about it. But then, he saw Nino shrugged. Ohno took it as a hint that he didn't need to continue it.
“So what's your plan for today?” Nino asked again.
“I’m meeting a friend.” Ohno answered short before he continued. “It’s just for a while. I'm sure it won't take me more than 2 hours,”
“Can’t you make it one?” Nino replied then laughed right after he saw Ohno’s frown. “I’m just joking, Oh-chan. But actually, I was thinking about cooking breakfast for you,”
“Nuh-uh.” Ohno stopped him. He made his way to Nino, grabbed him by his arms to make the man to face him. “I’m going to cook for you Nino-”
“But you're going out!”
“That will just be a cup of coffee type of meeting, Nino. I'll cook for you and we'll have our breakfast together. No more words,” he said, putting his finger on Nino's lips when Nino was about to say something more. “Now go and take a bath. I'll prepare something for you.”
Nino nodded nonchalantly. Ohno didn't wait for Nino to say something when he saw him take the towel hanging near the bathroom. Right after the man had closed the bathroom door, he left the room heading to the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast for them.
It sure was a blissful life, he thought. They were having breakfast together in silence but it’s not awkward at all, then there’s these meaningful glances they share every moment that will leave them both smiling goofily.
Ohno didn't blame Nino when the guy showed less interest in the food in front of him. He was aware of the fact that Nino was suffering a disease that made him lose appetite. As he watch the man take a bite, he started realizing how worst Nino’s condition was.
“Does it tastes bad?” Ohno asked, trying to joke around. “The sandwiches”
Nino didn't shake or nod. Slowly, he put down his sandwich onto his plate before he stared at Ohno. The man looked skinny than what he remembered. Since when did Ohno became this skinny? Was it since the time Miyuki had left them? Or was it because he had been a burden to the man? Nino never dare to ask, he’ll end up hurting anyway.
He was grateful with having Ohno by his side, he was truly grateful with it. Ohno never failed to let him know how much he loved him, though deep inside Nino wasn't convinced. He knew he was being selfish but how can he forget the pain he had been feeling these past years? He simply couldn't.
“Nino-”
“So, who's this lucky girl you're going to meet later, Oh-chan? Or is it a guy?” Nino asked, quickly changing the topic when Ohno was about to speak. He saw Ohno sighed, perhaps disappointed by his question.
“You know I won't-”
“Why not?” Nino asked. “I won't last that long, Oh-chan. You need to find someone who can accompany you till the end-”
“I don't want anyone to replace Miyuki or you.” Ohno snapped, his voice raised a pitch. “Sorry. But I really mean it. Not now. Not ever.”
They both fell silent.
Nino could hear sincerity in the man's words. He knew Ohno meant it. But he perfectly understood that he shouldn’t be greedy by wanting Ohno to stay by him forever. He knew how painful it was to long for love he can never have. With him not having much time, surely Ohno would be left alone. He was sure that that was not what Miyuki has been wanting from him when she requested him to love Ohno again before.
“I’m going to meet Matsumoto-san,” Ohno said, breaking his thoughts. Instantly, his eyes widen, surprised by the information Ohno had told him.
“Why?” Nino asked. His face was unexplainably blank.
“He wants to. My instinct tells me I should-”
“My instinct tells me you shouldn’t.” Nino cut him. There’s a tone of panic in the way he spoke, his eyes met Ohno, trying to tell how serious he was when he said it. “I know Jun-kun. Stop burdening him.”
“Nino-“
“Please. I beg you.”
Ohno heaved a sigh. Though he wasn’t sure about it, Ohno could feel that Jun had something to tell. Something that came with hope. And Ohno knew Nino could feel the same.
There was sadness in the way Nino was gazing at him, but he couldn’t lose hope. If meeting Jun would bring them a happy news, Ohno preferred it that way. Even if by doing it, he’s going to lose Nino.
“I don't want to lose hope, Nino.”
“You're talking about my life here, Oh-chan. You shouldn't decide for me,”
“But I want you to keep on living.”
“Of course! I want to keep on living too. But not by using the one who sincerely loved me! I can't keep being in Jun-kun’s favour for the rest of my life when I have nothing to give him in return!”
Nino was enraged, his breath was uneven, his shoulders moved up and down as he tried to catch his breath. They fell silent once Nino finished his words; they were staring at each other with thousands of expression and emotions filling the gap between them.
Nino was right but Nino didn't have to give anything, Ohno would. After all, he was the one who took Nino away from Jun.
He didn't manage to talk more when Nino pushed his chair, brought his plates to the kitchen and left Ohno alone in the living room. He was perplexed and confused by his own decision. He didn't deserved Nino, but letting the man die without doing any effort, Ohno refused it. He had enough of being a selfish jerk. He needs to compensate for the pain he brought to Nino’s life, for hurting Nino, for taking Nino away from the one who would love him best and for being unable to donate let alone cure the man. He did all these horrible stuff to Nino and now he needed this misery to end.
His train of thoughts stopped abruptly when he heard the sound of the glasses crashed on the floor. For instant, his face turned white, thinking that the sound came from the kitchen and Nino's name slipped pass his lips.
Just when he rushed to the kitchen, Nino was already on the floor unconscious and there’s blood.
His hands shook, his legs jellied as he knelt next to the man, dialling a number on his phone.
“Matsumoto-san. Nino…” he tried to speak when the person at the other line picked up the call but nothing came out of his mouth.
At that moment, all he wished was for God to take him instead.
____________________________________________________
A/N :Sorry for the late update. now, on the next one, will the final chapter. I have an epilogue ready but not the last chapter, how silly is that? Anyway, who would you love Nino to end up with? Mind you, the epilogue is Nino-jun ending but if, majority wants Ohno to have a chance, i will leave out the epilogue and let Ohno has Nino as the ending.
so... voting time!
Poll ENDING
have a nice day everyone