[Ongoing] Maybe Forever - Ohmiya (Chapter 4)
CHAPTER FOUR
Ohno felt hopeless. Miyuki’s hoping face kept appearing every time he closed his eyes. But remembering what Nino had said yesterday, his heart ache along with anger. Not towards the man though. He was mad by what he had done years ago.
If he hadn’t been selfish...
Nino has his right to get mad at him. He shouldn’t do that to the man. He shouldn’t make love to him when there’s not the slightest bit of love he had for the man. He shouldn’t keep doing it until it gave hope to the man. He should have stopped it before it turned worst.
But then, before he knew it, it had turned worst. And he couldn’t make it right again.
Nino left, bringing all the anger, hurts and Ohno sure enough the man had lost his believe towards love. Hence, for that same reason too, he knew he didn’t deserve any help from Nino. No matter how hard he wished for it.
“You know what, one hours left yet you still haven’t check in to your flight. Are you really that rich that you don’t mind missing your flight?” A voice startled him from his thoughts.
He lifted up his face to see the man in front of him.
“Nino,” he exclaimed, surprised by the man appearance. Nino rolled his eyes.
“I’m not a jerk to leave my cousin dying without meeting me when she hoped so much,” Nino said, took a seat next to him. “I’ll meet her then,”
Cousin. Ohno never knew that. His eyes widen upon the man’s statement, shock by the new fact he learned after 5 years of marrying Miyuki. But before he could asked even further, Nino cut him, changing their topic.
“I bought my ticket last minute. You need to pay me back,”
Ohno can’t help smiling hearing that. Somehow he nodded, agreed.
“One more thing. 5 years, I’m not sure if you still having that same habit since years ago. but i’m sorry if you have to sit next to me for the next 14 hours .” Nino said, revealing his ticket. Their seat number next to each other. “That was the last seat. And you can imagine how much it cost me.”
Ohno laughed. Somehow, Nino still remember about him. He was a paranoia. He was afraid to fly. And every single time he had to, he would choose a seat near to the emergency exit, somewhere in front. Apparently, Nino still remember it.
“Don’t worry, Ka-“
“And call me Nino. Just Nino. Or I’ll change my mind,” Nino said, starting to leave the man as he walked into the waiting area.
Ohno sighed. He knew the scar from before in Nino’s heart never healed.
But one thing that bother Ohno a lot since the first time he met the man after 5 years; Nino’s eyes. They look tired, dead and full of sorrows. His heart suddenly clench in pain, thinking if he was the reason.
He definitely is the reason.
Ohno sighed. Once he done check in with his flight, he walked into the waiting area near the gate. His lips forming a smile when he saw Nino, killing his time with his game in his hand.
“He is still the man i knew from before,” his smiles fade along with his next statement. “Except, he’s hurt... and heartbroken,”
***
It was a hectic flight. But despite how many times Ohno invites the man to stay at his house, Nino refused. He told him that Jun will be fetching him after everything settles. Hence Ohno doesn’t have to worry about him at all.
It sounded harsh. Hence, Ohno stopped.
As they arrived Ohno’s home, Nino doesn’t wait any longer. He made his way into the house, waiting for Ohno to lead him to his wife. So Ohno did.
For once, Nino didn’t know what he felt at the moment he saw her. Weak, lying helplessly on the bed as the cancer eating her, for God only knew how much times she left. He watched how Ohno walked approaching her, attentively helped her so that she could have a proper conversation with Nino later. And that was when Nino realized.
The hatred he grew before, it wasn’t for her. Not a slightest bit.
He didn’t know who was it for. Ohno perhaps. But he didn’t deny it was for him too. For being stupid to fall in love with a straight guy.
“I’ll leave you two for now.” Ohno said, properly tug in the blanket in her. Miyuki smiled weakly at him as he caresses her lovingly. “Be nice, Nino.”
Nino clicked his tongue, annoyed. This time, he didn’t eyed Ohno as he made his way out of the room. Just as he heard the sound of the door being closed, he turned his sight at his cousin who was lying on the bed, trying so hard to smile.
“Welcome back, Kazu-nii.” she greeted.
Nino didn’t have the heart to ignore her. Slowly he made his way towards her, dragging one chair along as he replied.
“I’m back, Miichan.”
***
They were cousins. A closed one that not a single secret can be hid between them.
Miichan knew he was a gay.
Nino knew how she often had a conflict with her previous boyfriend.
Miichan knew Nino had fall in love with his roommate.
And Nino knew that Miichan had fall in love with a senior who was first made a move on her.
Except, they didn’t knew they were talking about the same person. None of them ever said Ohno Satoshi as the one who they had set their heart to.
Hence, when Nino knew about it, he met her. He beg for her to understand how meaningless his life would be without Ohno.
“But i can’t give him up,” she said. “Kazu-nii. I love him. He made me feel secure. He made me feel worth. Not like all those guy who used me for nothing. Do you understand how hurt it was?”
Of course he did. Because whatever happened to Miichan before, happened to him now. Except, Miichan often had him as her protector. While him...
“He made me feel worth. He made me feel safe in his embrace. Kazu-nii. I’m being selfish. I know, but please. I love him. On your behalf, I’ll take care of him. I’ll make sure he’ll be happy by my side. Please-“
She stopped. Her lips shivered, unable to continue her words.
Nino was a dearest one to her. He was the one protecting her from all those jerks before. He was a protective brother to her, despite the fact that they’re just cousins. But now, she was being selfish, asking for him to sacrifice for her. How could she?
Her grips on his hand tighten. She didn’t want to let go. But when she heard the sound of the chair being pushed, and she saw Nino standing in front of him, she couldn’t stop her tears from falling. She cries harder when Nino pushed her grips slowly away from his hand.
Despite all the hurts he felt, she saw how Nino was forcing a smile as he spoke.
“I understand, Miichan-“ Nino paused, heave a sigh. “Do me a favour please.”
She looked at him, frowning. The smile on his lips fade and that was the moment she saw how dead Nino’s eyes were.
“I’ll leave. Both you. Make sure he never find me. I won’t be nice.”
He dropped a kiss on her temple before he dragged his feet away from her. That was the last time she ever saw him.
But he was in front of her now. Those eyes, those lovely eyes no longer sparks happiness. It was full of sorrows, dead as if nothing excites the owner’s life anymore.
Her heart clenches in pain as she was having the thought that she was the reason behind all those sadness.
“Are you happy?” Nino asked, breaking the silence between them. “Does he make you happy?”
Miichan nodded. “Always.” She paused. “Kazu-nii-”
“I forgave you. Long time ago. If that’s the reason why you wanted to see me.”
“That’s-“
“Come on, Miichan. Do you think i can get mad at you forever?”Nino asked, smiling so sincerely at her.
“You never returned,” Miyuki replied. Her hand finding his, gripping it as hard as her strength allows her.
Nino sighed.
“You and your family took me in when my family threw me out when they know how crook their son was. I was in your favour. I can’t get mad at you,”
“But you deserved to feel mad.” She replied. “I was the reason why the two of you never be together before,”
Somehow nino chuckled.
“No. You’re wrong. You’re not the reason. He is. He loves you. Not me. He choose you. Not me. I’m not mad at you. That’s the reason why I’m here, meeting you.”
Silence.
“If that so, Kazu-nii. Could you do me this one favour?”
Nino raised his eyebrows.
“Please love him one more time. Satoshi. I knew you still love him,”
“Are you mad?!” Nino almost shrieked. “I can’t love him!”
“I’m dying. I just-“
“Did you realized that you’re being selfish right now, Miyuki? I could never love someone who used me before dump me like a trash! Don’t you understand how much hurt I’ve been holding before for falling in love with him? That time was a mistake. Why would I be doing the same mistake now?”
“But I can’t leave him alone. He’ll be lost without me. And I know I can trust you to take care of him once i’m gone,”
“He’s not a child to babysit, Miichan.” Nino paused. “And I don’t want him to fall in love with me-“ Nino declared, refused to look at her.
“Kazu-nii-“
“He doesn’t deserve me.”
“But he will make it. He’s going to love you more than he loved me. I’ll make him to. Please -“
“Miichan-“ Nino cut her. “If he ever fall in love with me-“
Nino paused. He bit his lips, his eyes brimming with tears as they met hers. One deep breath, he continued. His hand gripping hers as he spoke.
“-if he ever did, Miichan, he’s going to regret it. You don’t want that.”
____________________________________________________________________________
writer block in my way. i need a beta who can help me with grammar and paraphrasing. and to suggest me for improvement. i'm choosy. seriously -.-"
Ohno felt hopeless. Miyuki’s hoping face kept appearing every time he closed his eyes. But remembering what Nino had said yesterday, his heart ache along with anger. Not towards the man though. He was mad by what he had done years ago.
If he hadn’t been selfish...
Nino has his right to get mad at him. He shouldn’t do that to the man. He shouldn’t make love to him when there’s not the slightest bit of love he had for the man. He shouldn’t keep doing it until it gave hope to the man. He should have stopped it before it turned worst.
But then, before he knew it, it had turned worst. And he couldn’t make it right again.
Nino left, bringing all the anger, hurts and Ohno sure enough the man had lost his believe towards love. Hence, for that same reason too, he knew he didn’t deserve any help from Nino. No matter how hard he wished for it.
“You know what, one hours left yet you still haven’t check in to your flight. Are you really that rich that you don’t mind missing your flight?” A voice startled him from his thoughts.
He lifted up his face to see the man in front of him.
“Nino,” he exclaimed, surprised by the man appearance. Nino rolled his eyes.
“I’m not a jerk to leave my cousin dying without meeting me when she hoped so much,” Nino said, took a seat next to him. “I’ll meet her then,”
Cousin. Ohno never knew that. His eyes widen upon the man’s statement, shock by the new fact he learned after 5 years of marrying Miyuki. But before he could asked even further, Nino cut him, changing their topic.
“I bought my ticket last minute. You need to pay me back,”
Ohno can’t help smiling hearing that. Somehow he nodded, agreed.
“One more thing. 5 years, I’m not sure if you still having that same habit since years ago. but i’m sorry if you have to sit next to me for the next 14 hours .” Nino said, revealing his ticket. Their seat number next to each other. “That was the last seat. And you can imagine how much it cost me.”
Ohno laughed. Somehow, Nino still remember about him. He was a paranoia. He was afraid to fly. And every single time he had to, he would choose a seat near to the emergency exit, somewhere in front. Apparently, Nino still remember it.
“Don’t worry, Ka-“
“And call me Nino. Just Nino. Or I’ll change my mind,” Nino said, starting to leave the man as he walked into the waiting area.
Ohno sighed. He knew the scar from before in Nino’s heart never healed.
But one thing that bother Ohno a lot since the first time he met the man after 5 years; Nino’s eyes. They look tired, dead and full of sorrows. His heart suddenly clench in pain, thinking if he was the reason.
He definitely is the reason.
Ohno sighed. Once he done check in with his flight, he walked into the waiting area near the gate. His lips forming a smile when he saw Nino, killing his time with his game in his hand.
“He is still the man i knew from before,” his smiles fade along with his next statement. “Except, he’s hurt... and heartbroken,”
***
It was a hectic flight. But despite how many times Ohno invites the man to stay at his house, Nino refused. He told him that Jun will be fetching him after everything settles. Hence Ohno doesn’t have to worry about him at all.
It sounded harsh. Hence, Ohno stopped.
As they arrived Ohno’s home, Nino doesn’t wait any longer. He made his way into the house, waiting for Ohno to lead him to his wife. So Ohno did.
For once, Nino didn’t know what he felt at the moment he saw her. Weak, lying helplessly on the bed as the cancer eating her, for God only knew how much times she left. He watched how Ohno walked approaching her, attentively helped her so that she could have a proper conversation with Nino later. And that was when Nino realized.
The hatred he grew before, it wasn’t for her. Not a slightest bit.
He didn’t know who was it for. Ohno perhaps. But he didn’t deny it was for him too. For being stupid to fall in love with a straight guy.
“I’ll leave you two for now.” Ohno said, properly tug in the blanket in her. Miyuki smiled weakly at him as he caresses her lovingly. “Be nice, Nino.”
Nino clicked his tongue, annoyed. This time, he didn’t eyed Ohno as he made his way out of the room. Just as he heard the sound of the door being closed, he turned his sight at his cousin who was lying on the bed, trying so hard to smile.
“Welcome back, Kazu-nii.” she greeted.
Nino didn’t have the heart to ignore her. Slowly he made his way towards her, dragging one chair along as he replied.
“I’m back, Miichan.”
***
They were cousins. A closed one that not a single secret can be hid between them.
Miichan knew he was a gay.
Nino knew how she often had a conflict with her previous boyfriend.
Miichan knew Nino had fall in love with his roommate.
And Nino knew that Miichan had fall in love with a senior who was first made a move on her.
Except, they didn’t knew they were talking about the same person. None of them ever said Ohno Satoshi as the one who they had set their heart to.
Hence, when Nino knew about it, he met her. He beg for her to understand how meaningless his life would be without Ohno.
“But i can’t give him up,” she said. “Kazu-nii. I love him. He made me feel secure. He made me feel worth. Not like all those guy who used me for nothing. Do you understand how hurt it was?”
Of course he did. Because whatever happened to Miichan before, happened to him now. Except, Miichan often had him as her protector. While him...
“He made me feel worth. He made me feel safe in his embrace. Kazu-nii. I’m being selfish. I know, but please. I love him. On your behalf, I’ll take care of him. I’ll make sure he’ll be happy by my side. Please-“
She stopped. Her lips shivered, unable to continue her words.
Nino was a dearest one to her. He was the one protecting her from all those jerks before. He was a protective brother to her, despite the fact that they’re just cousins. But now, she was being selfish, asking for him to sacrifice for her. How could she?
Her grips on his hand tighten. She didn’t want to let go. But when she heard the sound of the chair being pushed, and she saw Nino standing in front of him, she couldn’t stop her tears from falling. She cries harder when Nino pushed her grips slowly away from his hand.
Despite all the hurts he felt, she saw how Nino was forcing a smile as he spoke.
“I understand, Miichan-“ Nino paused, heave a sigh. “Do me a favour please.”
She looked at him, frowning. The smile on his lips fade and that was the moment she saw how dead Nino’s eyes were.
“I’ll leave. Both you. Make sure he never find me. I won’t be nice.”
He dropped a kiss on her temple before he dragged his feet away from her. That was the last time she ever saw him.
But he was in front of her now. Those eyes, those lovely eyes no longer sparks happiness. It was full of sorrows, dead as if nothing excites the owner’s life anymore.
Her heart clenches in pain as she was having the thought that she was the reason behind all those sadness.
“Are you happy?” Nino asked, breaking the silence between them. “Does he make you happy?”
Miichan nodded. “Always.” She paused. “Kazu-nii-”
“I forgave you. Long time ago. If that’s the reason why you wanted to see me.”
“That’s-“
“Come on, Miichan. Do you think i can get mad at you forever?”Nino asked, smiling so sincerely at her.
“You never returned,” Miyuki replied. Her hand finding his, gripping it as hard as her strength allows her.
Nino sighed.
“You and your family took me in when my family threw me out when they know how crook their son was. I was in your favour. I can’t get mad at you,”
“But you deserved to feel mad.” She replied. “I was the reason why the two of you never be together before,”
Somehow nino chuckled.
“No. You’re wrong. You’re not the reason. He is. He loves you. Not me. He choose you. Not me. I’m not mad at you. That’s the reason why I’m here, meeting you.”
Silence.
“If that so, Kazu-nii. Could you do me this one favour?”
Nino raised his eyebrows.
“Please love him one more time. Satoshi. I knew you still love him,”
“Are you mad?!” Nino almost shrieked. “I can’t love him!”
“I’m dying. I just-“
“Did you realized that you’re being selfish right now, Miyuki? I could never love someone who used me before dump me like a trash! Don’t you understand how much hurt I’ve been holding before for falling in love with him? That time was a mistake. Why would I be doing the same mistake now?”
“But I can’t leave him alone. He’ll be lost without me. And I know I can trust you to take care of him once i’m gone,”
“He’s not a child to babysit, Miichan.” Nino paused. “And I don’t want him to fall in love with me-“ Nino declared, refused to look at her.
“Kazu-nii-“
“He doesn’t deserve me.”
“But he will make it. He’s going to love you more than he loved me. I’ll make him to. Please -“
“Miichan-“ Nino cut her. “If he ever fall in love with me-“
Nino paused. He bit his lips, his eyes brimming with tears as they met hers. One deep breath, he continued. His hand gripping hers as he spoke.
“-if he ever did, Miichan, he’s going to regret it. You don’t want that.”
____________________________________________________________________________
writer block in my way. i need a beta who can help me with grammar and paraphrasing. and to suggest me for improvement. i'm choosy. seriously -.-"