(no subject)
life will throught you a curve right when you dont want it to. i suppose i call it life when i am not sure if it is god at work of others forces. i have noticed something for weeks now. but have been silent about it. i want this unnamed circumstance to be what god wants not want make me happy. because if the situations was corrected the way i have been shown. it will make me happy. but this god life is not about my happiness. it is about others, and there needs. i want to challange some friends of mine. but i dont want to hurt others in my path. this is why i feel unworthy of the privilage to serve god. i am doubting. i will be 22 tomorrow and that is the last thing on my mind. i really just hope ppl show up for the bible study tomorrow. tomorrow will be the closest thing i have had to bday party since i was 6. every year something happends. missions trips, gf fam moves to calie, most of the time ppl are just out of town. i dont expect any presents, i dont expext any body to even remember. i just want to do what truly makes me happy. to serve my guest and teach the word of god. my dad took me out to eat tonight for my bday and it was good. we went to up the creek. my head has been in the clouds all weekend. this morining the guest speacker brought me back down. i feel like i am in a millitary box. my gf's dad is in the air force, i have a army recurture call me, a coworker is going in the navy, the speaker. i understand the fight for freedom more now than ever. all this millitary makes me think about christ. he fault the whole existance of evil and won single handed. i know one day will hear the name of one student i am close to and they will have died fighting for freedom. i am not trying to scare anybody but the liklyhood of that happending is good. i have had several friend in iraq. and as far as i know they are all still alive. thank god.my pray is for the fight for freedom. in the world and in my head