FUCK THIS FUCKIN PLACE
Today Fuckin sucked. I just got back from drum major camp on Wensday. that was by far the best 4 days ever. i worked hard. i was cheerful. i stood tall. they pumped us up so much. i felt so much better about myself. like seriously, people that i didn't even know where giving me compliments on my conducting. And then next thing you know it, i am sittin at the head of a table with a school full of VERY CUTE flag girls, teaching then how to conduct and having a full on conversation with all of them. They all told me thier names, but i didn't remeber them. Like 5 seconds after telling me thier names, i forgot. haha. cause I'm a P.I.M.P.just kidding. they remember me because i had to carry to of them. One of them was on my back, and one of them was in my arms. And i ran like 10 steps farther than neccessary. but anyway. i met alot of cool people, and i felt so good, and i learned so much. Like i seriously had to stop and LITTERALY take a couple of depp breaths and reflect on my time. I loved it there. then wensday came, and we had the final performance. we all did SOOO WELL. i got an award for "All Star Attitude" and it came with a card with the counclers telling me that i had good ideas and i lifted other peoples spirits. and stuff. that really made me feel like I was on top of the world.
then came thursday, i had to go to pre-band camp. I learned the flag squad routine to fight song. i have that down now. then i had to go to DrumLine practice. this one snare drummer named Latipha was really good. like, she really wanted to challenge herself. And the quint player Brian was good, even though he wanted to do snare, he atleast tried on the quints and didn't really like pout. i think once he realized how important the quint part is, he realized that he needed to get on it. He was great. shannon is pissed that everyone can't be as awsome as she is on the bass drums. but i am sure that after a while they will get it. or, atleast i hope so. I SOOOO DO NOT LIKE THE CADENCE. FUN BEATS FOR FUN BANDS SUCKSSSS!!! The pre-band camp rehersal sucked. We played slow as hell. i bored to death. And then halfway through the Bari. sax. player name d Jeremy said "You know i have the Tenor Part right?" i am like. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH 1 AND A HALF REHERSALS PLAYING AN INSTRMENT THAT IS NOT EVEN IN YOUR KEY. WHAT THE HELLLL!!!
But I am sure everything will be good. then comes today. i had to wake up early to go to work at 8a.m. I go there and this lady had an attitiude with me all day. i was like UMMM IT IS ONLY MY SECOND DAY HERE. CHILL. I just sat there and cooked like i am suppose to. than i come home, and my mom opens up the gass and electric bill and sees that it is $200. and blames me my brother and my sister. WE AREN'T THE ONLY ONES THAT LIVE HERE. Then she says that me and my sister have to give her $70 each out of our next paycheck and $30 a month. I WAS LIKE. I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTENED MY FIRST PAYCHECK. I AM NOT GONNA HAVE ENOUGH TO EVEN THINK ABOUT PAYING $70. I still need to buy school supplies and clothes and a M.T.A. bus pass. and then you come over here and treat me like a room mate insted of a child that had no choice on how big of a house you were going to buy and no choice on how much electricity it takes to keep this house running. WHAT THE FUCK! I called my dad and told him what happened and i like cried seriously. I CRIED. I hadn't cried in years and then for her to just bring me down after me comming from a camp where strangers made me feel happier than i ever did. That just upset me to an endless point. I feel so bad that my own mother can't make me feel good. She only sees the things that she wants to see. She doesn't care that i am trying to go to college. she doesn't care that i am getting good grades, she doesn't care that i never get into trouble or that i work hard for the band and that i have people that look up to me. All she sees is that i don't dry the dishes or my bed isn't clean and because of that, i am a failure and lazy. THERE ARE KIDS MY AGE, WITH 5 YEAR OLD CHILDREN, AND CAN'T READ THE ALPHABET. And yet I am a failure. WHATEVER WAKE THE FUCK UP! But after that. Me and my sister started talking about the bills that have fallen on us. and she said she is gonna leave. and if shit gets worst i am gone too. the only reason I stay is for Kenwood. People need me. People look up to me and see me as thier leader and i don't want to let them down. i will work for them until i breakdown. I love that school, that bands, those kids. I love them all and would do anything for them. but It is hard to help others and support them when i don't have any support anywhere. i fuckin hate it here. i want to get the Fuck out!
then came thursday, i had to go to pre-band camp. I learned the flag squad routine to fight song. i have that down now. then i had to go to DrumLine practice. this one snare drummer named Latipha was really good. like, she really wanted to challenge herself. And the quint player Brian was good, even though he wanted to do snare, he atleast tried on the quints and didn't really like pout. i think once he realized how important the quint part is, he realized that he needed to get on it. He was great. shannon is pissed that everyone can't be as awsome as she is on the bass drums. but i am sure that after a while they will get it. or, atleast i hope so. I SOOOO DO NOT LIKE THE CADENCE. FUN BEATS FOR FUN BANDS SUCKSSSS!!! The pre-band camp rehersal sucked. We played slow as hell. i bored to death. And then halfway through the Bari. sax. player name d Jeremy said "You know i have the Tenor Part right?" i am like. WHAT THE FUCK. YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH 1 AND A HALF REHERSALS PLAYING AN INSTRMENT THAT IS NOT EVEN IN YOUR KEY. WHAT THE HELLLL!!!
But I am sure everything will be good. then comes today. i had to wake up early to go to work at 8a.m. I go there and this lady had an attitiude with me all day. i was like UMMM IT IS ONLY MY SECOND DAY HERE. CHILL. I just sat there and cooked like i am suppose to. than i come home, and my mom opens up the gass and electric bill and sees that it is $200. and blames me my brother and my sister. WE AREN'T THE ONLY ONES THAT LIVE HERE. Then she says that me and my sister have to give her $70 each out of our next paycheck and $30 a month. I WAS LIKE. I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTENED MY FIRST PAYCHECK. I AM NOT GONNA HAVE ENOUGH TO EVEN THINK ABOUT PAYING $70. I still need to buy school supplies and clothes and a M.T.A. bus pass. and then you come over here and treat me like a room mate insted of a child that had no choice on how big of a house you were going to buy and no choice on how much electricity it takes to keep this house running. WHAT THE FUCK! I called my dad and told him what happened and i like cried seriously. I CRIED. I hadn't cried in years and then for her to just bring me down after me comming from a camp where strangers made me feel happier than i ever did. That just upset me to an endless point. I feel so bad that my own mother can't make me feel good. She only sees the things that she wants to see. She doesn't care that i am trying to go to college. she doesn't care that i am getting good grades, she doesn't care that i never get into trouble or that i work hard for the band and that i have people that look up to me. All she sees is that i don't dry the dishes or my bed isn't clean and because of that, i am a failure and lazy. THERE ARE KIDS MY AGE, WITH 5 YEAR OLD CHILDREN, AND CAN'T READ THE ALPHABET. And yet I am a failure. WHATEVER WAKE THE FUCK UP! But after that. Me and my sister started talking about the bills that have fallen on us. and she said she is gonna leave. and if shit gets worst i am gone too. the only reason I stay is for Kenwood. People need me. People look up to me and see me as thier leader and i don't want to let them down. i will work for them until i breakdown. I love that school, that bands, those kids. I love them all and would do anything for them. but It is hard to help others and support them when i don't have any support anywhere. i fuckin hate it here. i want to get the Fuck out!