So some friends of mine really hurt me by lying/gossiping about me a while back. I was so taken aback at what I read, I'll never forget it
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I was definitely there with my baby, and then even more with my marriage. My own parish priest refused to marry us unless we waited a year because, and I quote, "now the reason to get married sooner is gone." I.e. my DEAD CHILD. And he was by NO means the only one. Maybe I'm unforgiving, but I think there are situations when you find out what people really are. I also think nostalgia isn't a reason for friendship. Ok, so I'm not *maybe* unforgiving, I guess I'm *definitely* unforgiving. Except I don't wish anyone's ill, I just wish for them to stay far away from me in the future.
I wish I was in a position where I could have helped you out. For me, the knowledge that someone else was going through the same thing, even though I didn't have anywhere near the emotional capacity to reach out, was so strengthening. When I was being judged and berated for being pregnant and unmarried, and told that Ryan and I would never have a successful marriage because we "began it wrong," I would occasionally wonder if you were facing the same obstacles. I figured you probably were, but honestly I didn't know if you wanted to talk to me about it, because I didn't know how much shame was being heaped upon you. If it was anything like the shame heaped on me, it was enough to make you want to crawl into a hole and not come out for ten years.
If you ever want to talk, I'd be happy to. I can't sympathize about having a newborn, but I'm sure we still have much in common.
I wish I was in a position where I could have helped you out. For me, the knowledge that someone else was going through the same thing, even though I didn't have anywhere near the emotional capacity to reach out, was so strengthening. When I was being judged and berated for being pregnant and unmarried, and told that Ryan and I would never have a successful marriage because we "began it wrong," I would occasionally wonder if you were facing the same obstacles. I figured you probably were, but honestly I didn't know if you wanted to talk to me about it, because I didn't know how much shame was being heaped upon you. If it was anything like the shame heaped on me, it was enough to make you want to crawl into a hole and not come out for ten years.
If you ever want to talk, I'd be happy to. I can't sympathize about having a newborn, but I'm sure we still have much in common.
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