(no subject)
I know my life will never be like a movie. If life were like movies no one would pay to go see one.
I don't get swept off my feet, I don't get happily ever after. And thats fine. No one gets happily ever after.
I think for the first time in my life I might actually want to have children and I know that I won't.
15 year old me was convinced that some day she would meet a guy fall in love and get married. and that she was going to be a teacher.
16 year old me was convinced that she would meet a guy or a woman and fall in love and get married and be a history professor.
21 year old me was going to run political campaigns for a living.
22 year old me got engaged and was going to work for a non profit that helped people after her fiance got a job designing rockets and airplanes. But 22 year old me had to pay her bills so she got a job as a bank teller.
25 year old me is working in a call center for a bank doing a job she never thought she would love. She has been engaged for almost 3 years and her fiance hasn't had a job since he graduated college 3 years ago. He hasn't even tried to get one for 2 years.
I made the choices and decisions and non decisions that brought me to this point. My life is mine and its a good one, even though things didn't work out the way I thought they would. Though eventually I will have to make a choice between staying somewhat close to where my fiance is and actually going to a city where my lack of drivers license won't hinder anything. Where I can get a new job that hopefully I love just as much and go where I want to go and not worry about snow and the fact that there is very little public transportation around.
27 year old me will hopefully have made good decisions and get closer to the life she wants to live. And if she is still in Auburn, Maine hopefully there is a damn good reason why.
I don't get swept off my feet, I don't get happily ever after. And thats fine. No one gets happily ever after.
I think for the first time in my life I might actually want to have children and I know that I won't.
15 year old me was convinced that some day she would meet a guy fall in love and get married. and that she was going to be a teacher.
16 year old me was convinced that she would meet a guy or a woman and fall in love and get married and be a history professor.
21 year old me was going to run political campaigns for a living.
22 year old me got engaged and was going to work for a non profit that helped people after her fiance got a job designing rockets and airplanes. But 22 year old me had to pay her bills so she got a job as a bank teller.
25 year old me is working in a call center for a bank doing a job she never thought she would love. She has been engaged for almost 3 years and her fiance hasn't had a job since he graduated college 3 years ago. He hasn't even tried to get one for 2 years.
I made the choices and decisions and non decisions that brought me to this point. My life is mine and its a good one, even though things didn't work out the way I thought they would. Though eventually I will have to make a choice between staying somewhat close to where my fiance is and actually going to a city where my lack of drivers license won't hinder anything. Where I can get a new job that hopefully I love just as much and go where I want to go and not worry about snow and the fact that there is very little public transportation around.
27 year old me will hopefully have made good decisions and get closer to the life she wants to live. And if she is still in Auburn, Maine hopefully there is a damn good reason why.