I'm sorry, I thought you was corn!
So wow yea, haven't posted on this in a while...
I moved to Pittsburgh, finally. It's a nice city. Beautiful if you love cities. I know Sara will cringe ha, but there's country areas a few miles from here so I think she'll be fine. I know for a fact Marissa would love this place, it just really has her kind of atmosphere. The South Side here, she would want to live there haha. My dad's been here twice since I moved, I think he's warming up to it. Agh yea warming up.. I wish it would. There's not a whole lot to do when it's cold and that's pretty bad for Alex and me. There's been quite a bit of unescessary fighting lately. Alex has just quit smoking [YAY!] and is on a diet, with nothing to do I can understand how he can be a little irritable. I just wish he wouldn't freak out over everything so fast. He takes everything too personal.
I keep having these weird dreams. I had one before moved out here that Alex and I were in the mall and he just took off running and I couldn't find him and I was lost and then I woke up.
Then I had one a few weeks ago where we went to Toledo for a school trip for me, and he said he'd go on the field trip with me but left during it to go fishing with friends and while everyone was getting ready to leave he walks up and tells me he's gonna go on a trip for a little bit and I was thinking it would be til later that night but he tells me he's gonna be gone on a fishing trip for 6 months and he's leaving right now. So I'm asking him how I'm supposed to get home or if I should even go back and all this stuff and he can't leave out of nowhere like that and he starts yelling at me and leaves and I'm stranded there in Toledo. Then I get on the bus [school field trip remember] and I walk past Sara and Liz on the bus and they're ignoring me the whole time. Thats when I woke up.
And lately I've been having dreams where he's ignoring me or with other girls. Like the one I had last night, he wasn't answering his phone and was VERY late getting home from work so I went over to his friend's house and asked her if she had seen him and she I dunno I'll call him and I heard her in the other room saying she's asking where you are what should I tell her? and then she came in and told me he didn't answer his phone. So I left and went walking around downtown and I saw him sitting with his arm around some girl at one of those restaurants where you can sit outside and I'm like Alex, what's going on!? And he starts getting mad and tells me to go home and all this stuff that isn't really making sense because I just caught him cheating and he's acting like it wasn't a big deal. So I start going home but I somehow wander into a grocery store and get lost in the back room and it goes into another dream from there but you get my point.
I've been having a lot of dreams like this lately and I'm worried because my dreams usually have meaning to them and They're all pretty much the same kind of thing. He's leaving me or doing something to hurt me. And with all this fighting going on lately it's not helping. I really like him and I hope this can work out. There's things we both need to work on and we just started dating and I just moved in and with all these other things going on it's really hard not to fight. It's like we just threw a bunch of shit out there that we have to get over just to be happy and it's at the point now where I dunno whether we're gonna have a good night or I'll spend it alone crying, or in a fight. I'm so stressed out lately, my hair is falling out so fast it's not even funny. I never straighten it anymore because more hair will just fall out. I'm sick all the time, headaches, stomachaches or I'm nauseated. I'm pretty sure this is all from stress. And I just wanna say right now I'm not blaming Alex for this. I know he's really stressed out too. It's hard for younger people to live on their own. And the fact that I don't have a job yet is really starting to piss us both off. I've applied to sooo many places in person and online. I have some money in the bank and my dad and mom gave me some for Christmas so that helps. I really appreciate that. I just don't know what to do. Oh and the only "friend" I really have here is our roommate Nick. He's actually a really cool person, I was worried before when Alex told me but we actually have basically the same personality and sense of humor. And I get along with his girlfriend pretty good too, even though he complains about her all the time haha but he loves her and that's why he puts up with it. I understand how that is. I just wish she'd realize she's pretty lucky to have someone care about her as much as he does. Some people take it for granted. But anywho, people need to come visit me. I know Sara and Liz are sometime in spring when it gets warmer... I recommend warm weather so I don't kill you for making me go out in the cold. And really, I love it here because it's only snowed pretty much 1 time, about 3 inches and it rained that night and melted it all. And it doesn't seem so bitterly cold all the time like Toledo did. I like it here, I don't want to move back. I talk to my friends for advice and they're always telling me to move back and my dad tells me if it ever doesn't work out I can go live with him... NO! I don't want to! People don't get that I didn't move away from Toledo for Alex. I moved because I HATED Toledo and I loved it here! Alex was just an added bonus :D teehee.
Well I guess that's all for now. But if you can interpret dreams that'd be awesome to let me know what you think. Uhm, here's a song that's hilarious. They wont stop listening to it and now it's stuck in my head lolzz!!!1! okay.
I moved to Pittsburgh, finally. It's a nice city. Beautiful if you love cities. I know Sara will cringe ha, but there's country areas a few miles from here so I think she'll be fine. I know for a fact Marissa would love this place, it just really has her kind of atmosphere. The South Side here, she would want to live there haha. My dad's been here twice since I moved, I think he's warming up to it. Agh yea warming up.. I wish it would. There's not a whole lot to do when it's cold and that's pretty bad for Alex and me. There's been quite a bit of unescessary fighting lately. Alex has just quit smoking [YAY!] and is on a diet, with nothing to do I can understand how he can be a little irritable. I just wish he wouldn't freak out over everything so fast. He takes everything too personal.
I keep having these weird dreams. I had one before moved out here that Alex and I were in the mall and he just took off running and I couldn't find him and I was lost and then I woke up.
Then I had one a few weeks ago where we went to Toledo for a school trip for me, and he said he'd go on the field trip with me but left during it to go fishing with friends and while everyone was getting ready to leave he walks up and tells me he's gonna go on a trip for a little bit and I was thinking it would be til later that night but he tells me he's gonna be gone on a fishing trip for 6 months and he's leaving right now. So I'm asking him how I'm supposed to get home or if I should even go back and all this stuff and he can't leave out of nowhere like that and he starts yelling at me and leaves and I'm stranded there in Toledo. Then I get on the bus [school field trip remember] and I walk past Sara and Liz on the bus and they're ignoring me the whole time. Thats when I woke up.
And lately I've been having dreams where he's ignoring me or with other girls. Like the one I had last night, he wasn't answering his phone and was VERY late getting home from work so I went over to his friend's house and asked her if she had seen him and she I dunno I'll call him and I heard her in the other room saying she's asking where you are what should I tell her? and then she came in and told me he didn't answer his phone. So I left and went walking around downtown and I saw him sitting with his arm around some girl at one of those restaurants where you can sit outside and I'm like Alex, what's going on!? And he starts getting mad and tells me to go home and all this stuff that isn't really making sense because I just caught him cheating and he's acting like it wasn't a big deal. So I start going home but I somehow wander into a grocery store and get lost in the back room and it goes into another dream from there but you get my point.
I've been having a lot of dreams like this lately and I'm worried because my dreams usually have meaning to them and They're all pretty much the same kind of thing. He's leaving me or doing something to hurt me. And with all this fighting going on lately it's not helping. I really like him and I hope this can work out. There's things we both need to work on and we just started dating and I just moved in and with all these other things going on it's really hard not to fight. It's like we just threw a bunch of shit out there that we have to get over just to be happy and it's at the point now where I dunno whether we're gonna have a good night or I'll spend it alone crying, or in a fight. I'm so stressed out lately, my hair is falling out so fast it's not even funny. I never straighten it anymore because more hair will just fall out. I'm sick all the time, headaches, stomachaches or I'm nauseated. I'm pretty sure this is all from stress. And I just wanna say right now I'm not blaming Alex for this. I know he's really stressed out too. It's hard for younger people to live on their own. And the fact that I don't have a job yet is really starting to piss us both off. I've applied to sooo many places in person and online. I have some money in the bank and my dad and mom gave me some for Christmas so that helps. I really appreciate that. I just don't know what to do. Oh and the only "friend" I really have here is our roommate Nick. He's actually a really cool person, I was worried before when Alex told me but we actually have basically the same personality and sense of humor. And I get along with his girlfriend pretty good too, even though he complains about her all the time haha but he loves her and that's why he puts up with it. I understand how that is. I just wish she'd realize she's pretty lucky to have someone care about her as much as he does. Some people take it for granted. But anywho, people need to come visit me. I know Sara and Liz are sometime in spring when it gets warmer... I recommend warm weather so I don't kill you for making me go out in the cold. And really, I love it here because it's only snowed pretty much 1 time, about 3 inches and it rained that night and melted it all. And it doesn't seem so bitterly cold all the time like Toledo did. I like it here, I don't want to move back. I talk to my friends for advice and they're always telling me to move back and my dad tells me if it ever doesn't work out I can go live with him... NO! I don't want to! People don't get that I didn't move away from Toledo for Alex. I moved because I HATED Toledo and I loved it here! Alex was just an added bonus :D teehee.
Well I guess that's all for now. But if you can interpret dreams that'd be awesome to let me know what you think. Uhm, here's a song that's hilarious. They wont stop listening to it and now it's stuck in my head lolzz!!!1! okay.