GOP 2004 Convention
Found in bush_sucks, apparently originally written by hunkafunk... Too good not to post in my own journal. =P
Official GOP 2004 Convention Itinerary
6:00pm - Opening Baptisms in the Big Vat of Oil.
6:15pm - Karl Rove summons Satan with 1,000 Gallons of Children's Blood
6:30pm - Rush Limbaugh: "How the new Medicare Prescription Plan will Help Me"
6:40pm - George W Bush reads "The Hungry Caterpillar".
7:00pm - ** Event Title Censored by the Department of Homeland Security **
7:18pm - Slow Dance to Star Wars Imperial March: Lobbyist's Choice
7:30pm - Ceremonial Outing of a CIA Operative
7:40pm - Donald Rumsfeld: "How to Let the leaders of 15 of the 9/11
terrorists in on State Secrets without getting Impeached."
7:55pm - George W Bush reads "Green Eggs and Ham"
8:10pm - Saddam Hussein Look-Alike Contest
8:30pm - Sean Hannity: "Why Stem Cell Research is Evil"
8:45pm - Nancy Reagan: "Why Stem Cell Research is Great, Especially for my
Husband"
9:00pm - Sean Hannity: "Oh Shit"
9:15pm - Circle Jerk with Brit Hume
9:17pm - Break
10:00pm - Ceremonial Minstrel Show starring Trent Lott and John Ashcroft in
blackface.
10:15pm - Colin Powell on Fox News Defending Minstrel Show.
10:20pm - Condaleeza Rice on MSNBC defending Minstrel Show.
10:30pm - Ken Lay: "How to make 500 Billion Dollar Debt look like a Profit."
10:45pm - Blame Clinton Workshop
10:55pm - ** Event Title Censored by the Department of Homeland Security **
11:00pm - George W Bush reads "Hop on Pop" with help from his father.
11:15pm - Rick Santorum: "Why Gays Marrying is like Me Humping my Dog."
11:30pm - Dick Cheney: "I Raised a Raging Dyke."
11:45pm - Celebrity Mud Wrestling: Ann Coulter vs. Laura Ingraham.
12:00am - Republican Nomination of Bush.
12:01am -Bush Starts Month-Long Vacation.
Official GOP 2004 Convention Itinerary
6:00pm - Opening Baptisms in the Big Vat of Oil.
6:15pm - Karl Rove summons Satan with 1,000 Gallons of Children's Blood
6:30pm - Rush Limbaugh: "How the new Medicare Prescription Plan will Help Me"
6:40pm - George W Bush reads "The Hungry Caterpillar".
7:00pm - ** Event Title Censored by the Department of Homeland Security **
7:18pm - Slow Dance to Star Wars Imperial March: Lobbyist's Choice
7:30pm - Ceremonial Outing of a CIA Operative
7:40pm - Donald Rumsfeld: "How to Let the leaders of 15 of the 9/11
terrorists in on State Secrets without getting Impeached."
7:55pm - George W Bush reads "Green Eggs and Ham"
8:10pm - Saddam Hussein Look-Alike Contest
8:30pm - Sean Hannity: "Why Stem Cell Research is Evil"
8:45pm - Nancy Reagan: "Why Stem Cell Research is Great, Especially for my
Husband"
9:00pm - Sean Hannity: "Oh Shit"
9:15pm - Circle Jerk with Brit Hume
9:17pm - Break
10:00pm - Ceremonial Minstrel Show starring Trent Lott and John Ashcroft in
blackface.
10:15pm - Colin Powell on Fox News Defending Minstrel Show.
10:20pm - Condaleeza Rice on MSNBC defending Minstrel Show.
10:30pm - Ken Lay: "How to make 500 Billion Dollar Debt look like a Profit."
10:45pm - Blame Clinton Workshop
10:55pm - ** Event Title Censored by the Department of Homeland Security **
11:00pm - George W Bush reads "Hop on Pop" with help from his father.
11:15pm - Rick Santorum: "Why Gays Marrying is like Me Humping my Dog."
11:30pm - Dick Cheney: "I Raised a Raging Dyke."
11:45pm - Celebrity Mud Wrestling: Ann Coulter vs. Laura Ingraham.
12:00am - Republican Nomination of Bush.
12:01am -Bush Starts Month-Long Vacation.