June 5, 2016. 12 days until I finish residency.

[iamzie]

I told myself I wasn't gonna succumb to the countdown, but I did. 12 more days until the culmination of three years of training, tears, hard work, laughter, sleeplessness, oversleeping, binge eating, starving - no one ever said that the scientfic art (or artistic science) of becoming a doctor was easy. I sit in front of my laptop, soothed by the flat music blasting from my screen, contemplating on finishing this blog post and planning on unveiling that flashy question bank that cost me a certain three-digit amount to purchase, all in the hopes of jumping over one more hurdle of an exam that made my bank account four-digits lighter, all in the purpose of being able to practice my profession. One of many exams already conquered, and one of many trials I will still have to encounter. Sad to say, it does not end with graduation for doctors. This is going to be my third graduation since high school. The thrill of graduating does not fade with time, but the magic of walking up to the stage to receive a piece of paper stating my newfound title is slowly ebbing down. We're all in the fourth decade of our lives by the time we finish residency training (save for a few lucky ones who manage to squeak in before they turn 30), and most of us can't wait to finally hold that real job, that coveted prestiged job that started this entire journey in the first place. I'm afraid though, that by the time we touch that trophy and bow our heads down for the crown, the weight of responsibility takes over immediately. Time to pay the six-digit medical school loans, time to watch the family grow, or time to find someone to make a family with, time to be fully responsible for patient's lives when they fall into our hands.

So much talk, haha. I'm not doing all that yet. I'm not done with growing up, with training, with being a student. I'm moving to California for another two years of subspecialty training, because I want to be awesome at what I do, and I want to be a master of one, not a jack of all trades (which my artistic self has become, and it has kept me hungry all this time).

Which is probably a good thing. But. I really can't wait to work a real job. Hmmmmm.

Also..  I guess I should go back to studying before I continue musing like this. Okay.