ramblings
I think maybe I need a new hobby.
I find myself in this weird space recently. I kinda sorta have free time, almost every day. I don't know what to make of this. Hopefully, this will be filled again in time with new classes, and perhaps even a new job. I can only hope. Couple this with coming home every night to an empty house. Don't misunderstand me; I enjoy my current living situation. Sometimes I wish that I lived closer to friends and family. Its just...lonely sometimes. And sometimes this loneliness manifests itself in non-productive ways. I don't like feeling that I'm being needy with people, especially those close to me. Everyone has difficulty in their own lives. Everyone is dealing with some sort of stressful situation(s).
Sometimes I wonder if the medication that I've been put on is fucking with me. Not in the stabbing headaches/extremely bad physical side effects sort of way. I wonder if, along with helping me not be in as much physical pain, if its causing me to be more anxious or even depressed. I feel emotionally lost recently. I'm not sure why.
Once I feel better and get over whatever the hell is causing me to have a sore throat, sore neck, and fever, I think I need to get back to running on a regular basis. It clears my head, it helps me to find balance, and it makes me feel good both physically and mentally.
I just managed to clip my finger just now and its bleeding. Fun. I'm not sure if I have bandaids. Eventually it will stop bleeding. The one drawback to this medicine possibly is that it really appears to dull my pain sensors to the point where my fingers have gotten cut a couple of times and I had no idea until I saw the blood either on my finger or on something I had just touched.
I hate being sick. I am honestly a huge baby when it comes to sickness. I'm the one at the store who has their arms brimming with all sorts of things to alleviate the symptoms. I also hate being sick and feeling as though I can't call out of my job. Stupid blackout days for managers.
ahh sleep. i miss you.
I find myself in this weird space recently. I kinda sorta have free time, almost every day. I don't know what to make of this. Hopefully, this will be filled again in time with new classes, and perhaps even a new job. I can only hope. Couple this with coming home every night to an empty house. Don't misunderstand me; I enjoy my current living situation. Sometimes I wish that I lived closer to friends and family. Its just...lonely sometimes. And sometimes this loneliness manifests itself in non-productive ways. I don't like feeling that I'm being needy with people, especially those close to me. Everyone has difficulty in their own lives. Everyone is dealing with some sort of stressful situation(s).
Sometimes I wonder if the medication that I've been put on is fucking with me. Not in the stabbing headaches/extremely bad physical side effects sort of way. I wonder if, along with helping me not be in as much physical pain, if its causing me to be more anxious or even depressed. I feel emotionally lost recently. I'm not sure why.
Once I feel better and get over whatever the hell is causing me to have a sore throat, sore neck, and fever, I think I need to get back to running on a regular basis. It clears my head, it helps me to find balance, and it makes me feel good both physically and mentally.
I just managed to clip my finger just now and its bleeding. Fun. I'm not sure if I have bandaids. Eventually it will stop bleeding. The one drawback to this medicine possibly is that it really appears to dull my pain sensors to the point where my fingers have gotten cut a couple of times and I had no idea until I saw the blood either on my finger or on something I had just touched.
I hate being sick. I am honestly a huge baby when it comes to sickness. I'm the one at the store who has their arms brimming with all sorts of things to alleviate the symptoms. I also hate being sick and feeling as though I can't call out of my job. Stupid blackout days for managers.
ahh sleep. i miss you.