SO I HERD U LIKE MAKE IT OR BREAK IT
Man oh man, I hardly know where to start. After last week's semi-goodness, this show is back to being ridic again. Just the way I like it.
As always, I'll get to this all more in depth on the recap, but a (comparatively) quick checklist:
-So tonight's a Very Special MIOBI. I felt like I was watching Degrassi (the 80s one, the only one that counts!) meets a bad afterschool special (I know, paging redundant department of redundancy) meets the Breakfast Club. Which brings to mind a bit of a mini-rant. Now, I love TBC. It's a classic. But I hate TV show episodes ripping it off. Yeah, it was cute at first but now that it's been done 3414132413432141 times, it's just boring. But hey, this is a Paul Stupin show, and hey, Dawson's Creek did have a TBC ep and hey, I should really do a picspam of MIOBI vs Dawson's Creek. I already bust out the Dawson crying gif every time I see Emily's stunt work.
-OMG THE OPENING SCENE IN CHURCH OMG. That was just... one of the greatest things I think I've ever seen.
-I LOVE PAYSON. Mostly because she was only one in this ep who didn't get to hold the Idiot Ball, which was passed around to pretty much everyone, even my bb Sasha. :'(
-Kaylie is an idiot. She's adorbs and I love her, but hot damn she is stupid.
-Lauren was awesome again through most of the ep, except when she was obsessing over Carter and his weird flat face. Seriously man, look at it! There is only one man who pulls off a flat face and that's RPattz, and it's only b/c RPattz is so awesome otherwise. This guy? Has yet to prove awesomeness. Maybe if he went around bashing this show and calling the writers quite mad he'd endear himself to me. So Lauren got some glorious barbs in, especially during the whole confession scene. Her burn at Emily? WAS COMPLETELY TRUE. Oh shut up, don't tell me y'all weren't mentally picturing her stunt double *shudder* and nodding along.
-Sasha was awesome as ever. I still want to know how he found out they were at the party. Or do I even have to? I think it's reaching the point where you can rewrite Chuck Norris jokes for Sasha. The only crack in his awesomehood was when he got fooled by Emily Sue (or should I say the others covering for Emily Sue), but I'll give him a pass. Mary Sues tend to rip through an otherwise innocent story and leave only destruction in their wake. You can't stop them.
-EMILY SUE. HATE. HATE. HATE. UUUGGHHHHHHH. Emily is like Bella Swan meets Kate Austen which means I will be rolling up my sleeves and unleashing my most brutal and mean-spirited snark on her. Why, you ask, do I hate her so much? Because, like with Bella and Kate, everything is always all about her. Not in the she's-the-main-character way, but in the she-hijacks-the-whole-show-and-not-in-a-good-way way. She crossed the line from being just sort of boring to out-and-out annoying. First, her whiny speech at her teammates BAWWWWW I HAVE TO WORK AT PIZZA SHACK BAWWWWW YOU'RE ALL RICH BAWWWWW CRY ME A RIVER, EMILY SUE, MY PLANTS NEED WATERING. And this is coming from someone who worked throughout college and most of grad school and is in perpetual stake of brokehood. Just because someone has money doesn't make their problems less serious. Then during the confession scene, BAWWWWW NOBODY MAKES ME FEEL WELCOME. What do you expect? People to throw a party for your ass? The only one who was exceptionally mean was Lauren. Kaylie and Payson were pretty nice after Lauren left. And the way Emily's supposed to be all ~mysterious~ and ~emo~ is just so ridic. At least Kate was a fugitive and had something to hide. What's Emily got to hide? OMG I'M A GYMNAST, THE SHAME, THE SHAME. Before, I thought she was just trying to prevent Sasha from finding out, but I think it's safe to infer after she blurted it out to her teammates and later forgave her Mom for blabbing to Damon that that's not it. And at least Kate does badass things like shoot people and ride motorcycles and stuff AND OMGWTF WHY AM I DEFENDING KATE? I HATE YOU EVEN MORE EMILY SUE FOR MAKING ME DO THAT.
-Damon is a breath of fresh air. It was nice to see someone give Emily Sue a little shit for once, and that one scene of them together was 10x more interesting than her scenes with Razor and Leo. Sadly, I know that Damon really just wants to get in her pants, so that keeps me from liking him too much.
-Emily's Mom was really annoying in ep 2 but she grew on me a lot. She's actually really quite funny and sweet. Too bad her daughter is such an irritating Sue.
-It doesn't surprise me Emily's never had a boyfriend. With that winning personality, I'm sure most guys just wanted to hit it and quit it.
-Speaking of hitting it and quitting it, ugghhh Creepy Carter. I think Leo was way too calm in dealing with him. All he gets was some pussy-ass punch in the gut? Ryan Atwood would be ashamed.
-Speaking of the OC, I wondered if Emily's Mom would end up Julie Coopering with Damon instead of Leo, like I initially thought? If so, can't fault her for taste.
-And finally... OMG NEXT WEEK'S EP. Does anyone remember the mother-daughter fashion show ep in My So-Called Life? Doesn't every show have one of those? Either way, I got some OC flashbacks and now I really want to watch the pilot again. Oh OC, I miss you so much. Mustresistxoverficmustresistxoverfic
...
"Hey Cohen, what are you two watching?" Summer asked, striding into the Cohens' living room with Marissa. They'd been performing their usual afternoon ritual of lying in Marissa's yard reading movie magazines and making snarky comments when they decided that they were bored with Heidi and Spencer and the Gosselins already.
"I mean, seriously," Summer had said. "Big deal, they had eight kids and now they're getting divorced. It happens all the time in Orange County. They could totally just hire a nanny! And Heidi and Spencer? Please, like anyone wants to watch boring rich people from SoCal."
So now Summer and Marissa decided to swing by Casa Cohen to see if anything was going on. But it was just Ryan and Seth parked in front of the TV, and they weren't even playing Grand Theft Auto or watching something strewn with violence or profanity. It disconcerted the girls.
"Are you guys watching women's gymnastics?" Marissa wanted to know, peering at the screen.
"Quiet, this is the finals!" Seth said. "I want to see if Payson Keeler can still snatch the gold after turning her ankle on her bars dismount."
Summer rolled her eyes. "Just when I thought you couldn't get any more bizarre and pathetic, Cohen..."
Marissa turned to Ryan, who just looked up at her sheepishly. "Girls in tight leotards," he explained.
"Uh-huh." Marissa just nodded, a dry smile across her face.
"Hey hey, quiet guys, Emily Kmetko is about to vault," Seth said. "She might be the one to beat Payson."
"Please, her form is horrible," Summer dismissed. "Have you seen her bars dismount? Cowboyed knees and flexed feet all over the place."
Seth arched an eyebrow. "I thought you said I was pathetic for watching this."
"I said you were, not me," Summer replied archly.
But they could get to Emily's performance, they had to watch the obligatory fluff piece. Set to a ballad by an American Idol alum and narrated by some John Tesh soundalike, the fluff piece dramatically highlighted Emily's humble roots and her rapid rise to fame under the tutelage of Sasha Belov at the prestigious Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Club, a.k.a "the Rock."
"Fresno?" Summer echoed. "Ew!"
"Wow, Sasha Belov is really hot," Marissa remarked. "I wouldn't mind training under him!"
Ryan shot her a dark look. Marissa simply smiled and said, "I do have a weakness for strong and silent blondes..."
"Um, OK, ew, you guys," Summer broke in. "Let's just watch this, OK?"
"Wow, what a sport," Seth remarked after Emily's vault. "Think of the discipline you'd have to have to do this! All the hours of training, the dedication... there's no hanging out at The Bait Shop or going to ragers."
"Cohen, before Ryan came, you never went to ragers," Summer pointed out.
"Touché, Summer, but I still had the option of attending ragers," Seth told her.
"Whatever, this is a dumb argument," Summer declared. "So basically in order to be a successful gymnast you have to be a neurotic, obsessed, workaholic control freak?"
"Wait, guys--quiet!" Marissa jumped in. Seth and Summer ceased their bickering long enough to hear Tim Daggett say:
"And now, all the way from Orange County, comes a gymnast we haven't seen much of in the past year. She's been plagued by injuries, but now, finally, she has her big chance at the Classic."
Adorned in a sparkly blue leotard, blonde hair pulled back in a long ponytail fastened with a matching scrunchy, strode a person strikingly familiar to everyone in the room. With a bright smile, she saluted the judges.
"Are you serious?" Seth exclaimed. "Taylor is a gymnast?"
"I honestly never knew that," Marissa remarked.
Ryan just looked at the screen with great interest.
"Surprisingly, it isn't the craziest thing to happen around here," Summer commented. "After all, I am dating Cohen!" An excited look suddenly blossomed across her face. "Oh my God, if she goes to Nationals, do you know what this means? Road trip!"
"You can't be serious," Marissa said. "You don't even like her."
"Who cares?" Summer asks. "OC representing in the house! Let's do it!"
Ryan and Marissa exchanged a look. Once Summer got her mind set to something, there was no talking her out of it. Besides, a weekend in Boston might be fun. Spend some time away from the OC and all the drama taking place here. It was nice to see everyone agreeing on something for once--even rooting for their sworn enemy, of all people.
It would be an interesting trip.
As always, I'll get to this all more in depth on the recap, but a (comparatively) quick checklist:
-So tonight's a Very Special MIOBI. I felt like I was watching Degrassi (the 80s one, the only one that counts!) meets a bad afterschool special (I know, paging redundant department of redundancy) meets the Breakfast Club. Which brings to mind a bit of a mini-rant. Now, I love TBC. It's a classic. But I hate TV show episodes ripping it off. Yeah, it was cute at first but now that it's been done 3414132413432141 times, it's just boring. But hey, this is a Paul Stupin show, and hey, Dawson's Creek did have a TBC ep and hey, I should really do a picspam of MIOBI vs Dawson's Creek. I already bust out the Dawson crying gif every time I see Emily's stunt work.
-OMG THE OPENING SCENE IN CHURCH OMG. That was just... one of the greatest things I think I've ever seen.
-I LOVE PAYSON. Mostly because she was only one in this ep who didn't get to hold the Idiot Ball, which was passed around to pretty much everyone, even my bb Sasha. :'(
-Kaylie is an idiot. She's adorbs and I love her, but hot damn she is stupid.
-Lauren was awesome again through most of the ep, except when she was obsessing over Carter and his weird flat face. Seriously man, look at it! There is only one man who pulls off a flat face and that's RPattz, and it's only b/c RPattz is so awesome otherwise. This guy? Has yet to prove awesomeness. Maybe if he went around bashing this show and calling the writers quite mad he'd endear himself to me. So Lauren got some glorious barbs in, especially during the whole confession scene. Her burn at Emily? WAS COMPLETELY TRUE. Oh shut up, don't tell me y'all weren't mentally picturing her stunt double *shudder* and nodding along.
-Sasha was awesome as ever. I still want to know how he found out they were at the party. Or do I even have to? I think it's reaching the point where you can rewrite Chuck Norris jokes for Sasha. The only crack in his awesomehood was when he got fooled by Emily Sue (or should I say the others covering for Emily Sue), but I'll give him a pass. Mary Sues tend to rip through an otherwise innocent story and leave only destruction in their wake. You can't stop them.
-EMILY SUE. HATE. HATE. HATE. UUUGGHHHHHHH. Emily is like Bella Swan meets Kate Austen which means I will be rolling up my sleeves and unleashing my most brutal and mean-spirited snark on her. Why, you ask, do I hate her so much? Because, like with Bella and Kate, everything is always all about her. Not in the she's-the-main-character way, but in the she-hijacks-the-whole-show-and-not-in-a-good-way way. She crossed the line from being just sort of boring to out-and-out annoying. First, her whiny speech at her teammates BAWWWWW I HAVE TO WORK AT PIZZA SHACK BAWWWWW YOU'RE ALL RICH BAWWWWW CRY ME A RIVER, EMILY SUE, MY PLANTS NEED WATERING. And this is coming from someone who worked throughout college and most of grad school and is in perpetual stake of brokehood. Just because someone has money doesn't make their problems less serious. Then during the confession scene, BAWWWWW NOBODY MAKES ME FEEL WELCOME. What do you expect? People to throw a party for your ass? The only one who was exceptionally mean was Lauren. Kaylie and Payson were pretty nice after Lauren left. And the way Emily's supposed to be all ~mysterious~ and ~emo~ is just so ridic. At least Kate was a fugitive and had something to hide. What's Emily got to hide? OMG I'M A GYMNAST, THE SHAME, THE SHAME. Before, I thought she was just trying to prevent Sasha from finding out, but I think it's safe to infer after she blurted it out to her teammates and later forgave her Mom for blabbing to Damon that that's not it. And at least Kate does badass things like shoot people and ride motorcycles and stuff AND OMGWTF WHY AM I DEFENDING KATE? I HATE YOU EVEN MORE EMILY SUE FOR MAKING ME DO THAT.
-Damon is a breath of fresh air. It was nice to see someone give Emily Sue a little shit for once, and that one scene of them together was 10x more interesting than her scenes with Razor and Leo. Sadly, I know that Damon really just wants to get in her pants, so that keeps me from liking him too much.
-Emily's Mom was really annoying in ep 2 but she grew on me a lot. She's actually really quite funny and sweet. Too bad her daughter is such an irritating Sue.
-It doesn't surprise me Emily's never had a boyfriend. With that winning personality, I'm sure most guys just wanted to hit it and quit it.
-Speaking of hitting it and quitting it, ugghhh Creepy Carter. I think Leo was way too calm in dealing with him. All he gets was some pussy-ass punch in the gut? Ryan Atwood would be ashamed.
-Speaking of the OC, I wondered if Emily's Mom would end up Julie Coopering with Damon instead of Leo, like I initially thought? If so, can't fault her for taste.
-And finally... OMG NEXT WEEK'S EP. Does anyone remember the mother-daughter fashion show ep in My So-Called Life? Doesn't every show have one of those? Either way, I got some OC flashbacks and now I really want to watch the pilot again. Oh OC, I miss you so much. Mustresistxoverficmustresistxoverfic
...
"Hey Cohen, what are you two watching?" Summer asked, striding into the Cohens' living room with Marissa. They'd been performing their usual afternoon ritual of lying in Marissa's yard reading movie magazines and making snarky comments when they decided that they were bored with Heidi and Spencer and the Gosselins already.
"I mean, seriously," Summer had said. "Big deal, they had eight kids and now they're getting divorced. It happens all the time in Orange County. They could totally just hire a nanny! And Heidi and Spencer? Please, like anyone wants to watch boring rich people from SoCal."
So now Summer and Marissa decided to swing by Casa Cohen to see if anything was going on. But it was just Ryan and Seth parked in front of the TV, and they weren't even playing Grand Theft Auto or watching something strewn with violence or profanity. It disconcerted the girls.
"Are you guys watching women's gymnastics?" Marissa wanted to know, peering at the screen.
"Quiet, this is the finals!" Seth said. "I want to see if Payson Keeler can still snatch the gold after turning her ankle on her bars dismount."
Summer rolled her eyes. "Just when I thought you couldn't get any more bizarre and pathetic, Cohen..."
Marissa turned to Ryan, who just looked up at her sheepishly. "Girls in tight leotards," he explained.
"Uh-huh." Marissa just nodded, a dry smile across her face.
"Hey hey, quiet guys, Emily Kmetko is about to vault," Seth said. "She might be the one to beat Payson."
"Please, her form is horrible," Summer dismissed. "Have you seen her bars dismount? Cowboyed knees and flexed feet all over the place."
Seth arched an eyebrow. "I thought you said I was pathetic for watching this."
"I said you were, not me," Summer replied archly.
But they could get to Emily's performance, they had to watch the obligatory fluff piece. Set to a ballad by an American Idol alum and narrated by some John Tesh soundalike, the fluff piece dramatically highlighted Emily's humble roots and her rapid rise to fame under the tutelage of Sasha Belov at the prestigious Rocky Mountain Gymnastics Club, a.k.a "the Rock."
"Fresno?" Summer echoed. "Ew!"
"Wow, Sasha Belov is really hot," Marissa remarked. "I wouldn't mind training under him!"
Ryan shot her a dark look. Marissa simply smiled and said, "I do have a weakness for strong and silent blondes..."
"Um, OK, ew, you guys," Summer broke in. "Let's just watch this, OK?"
"Wow, what a sport," Seth remarked after Emily's vault. "Think of the discipline you'd have to have to do this! All the hours of training, the dedication... there's no hanging out at The Bait Shop or going to ragers."
"Cohen, before Ryan came, you never went to ragers," Summer pointed out.
"Touché, Summer, but I still had the option of attending ragers," Seth told her.
"Whatever, this is a dumb argument," Summer declared. "So basically in order to be a successful gymnast you have to be a neurotic, obsessed, workaholic control freak?"
"Wait, guys--quiet!" Marissa jumped in. Seth and Summer ceased their bickering long enough to hear Tim Daggett say:
"And now, all the way from Orange County, comes a gymnast we haven't seen much of in the past year. She's been plagued by injuries, but now, finally, she has her big chance at the Classic."
Adorned in a sparkly blue leotard, blonde hair pulled back in a long ponytail fastened with a matching scrunchy, strode a person strikingly familiar to everyone in the room. With a bright smile, she saluted the judges.
"Are you serious?" Seth exclaimed. "Taylor is a gymnast?"
"I honestly never knew that," Marissa remarked.
Ryan just looked at the screen with great interest.
"Surprisingly, it isn't the craziest thing to happen around here," Summer commented. "After all, I am dating Cohen!" An excited look suddenly blossomed across her face. "Oh my God, if she goes to Nationals, do you know what this means? Road trip!"
"You can't be serious," Marissa said. "You don't even like her."
"Who cares?" Summer asks. "OC representing in the house! Let's do it!"
Ryan and Marissa exchanged a look. Once Summer got her mind set to something, there was no talking her out of it. Besides, a weekend in Boston might be fun. Spend some time away from the OC and all the drama taking place here. It was nice to see everyone agreeing on something for once--even rooting for their sworn enemy, of all people.
It would be an interesting trip.