I wish you were a stranger I could disengage: iamnotablonde03

iamnotablonde03

I wish you were a stranger I could disengage

Jan 22, 2007 03:09

Ok, Ive been MIA once again. But I swear Im back now. Ugh. Lots of shit going on.

I am planning for a trip to Seattle in the spring sometime, so look forward to that people. Also, anyone know who I could pay to stay at their place while I visit?

So yeah, I basicly consider myself single...though I cant get a hold of the fucker to break up with him. He is such an asshole for this. What he has done feels like the ultimate deception. I dont get why Im so hard to be able to love, its not like I have a wall built up suprisingly enough. I dont deserve this, no one does.

I love two songs currently....."Over my head" by The Fray, and "Into the Ocean" by Blue October....they are both comforting, yet saddening at the same time....because I relate to them right now so that is what comforts me, but what makes me sad is I dont want to be able to relate to them :(

I had a great time in Orange County. On Friday night, on my way out, I picked up my friend (and ex) Richard and we went to the store and bought food and booze. He got his Jagger, and I got some Malibu Pineapple Rum. We got drunk while watching Dawn of the Dead, and Wonder Showzen and South Park. Lauren came by and then Adam showed up later on, and we all were crazy weirdos.

Woke up the next morning....err afternoon...around 2pm, lol. I blame it on Richard cause he likes to sleep alot. We sat and watched South Park.....then finally got off our asses. Went to Ipso Facto and ran into my ex, Matt (I was surrounded by ex's). Turns out Matt got married, I was like holy shit. Yeah, he and I have quite a history, but it was good seeing him. He is now my 2nd ex to get married. He got my number and said he wanted to hang out later. Then Richard and I went to All Hallows Ink in Fullerton to look at curved barbells for two of Richard's new peircings, and my friend Tiffany called me from Ipso Facto cause Matt told her I was in town, so her and her friend Paul met up with us at the tat shop. We checked out Paul's awesome Herse (see pix below!!) and then Tiffany hung out with us the rest of the night......the rest of the night basicly included meeting up with Matt, his wife, and some friends and then departing from them and going to a sex shop and oogling at fun things. Then we all went back to my studio and watched more South Park and Lauren came over again with her new beau named Zack, tee hee. And she painted pretty pictures. I think Tiffany fell asleep around 4am, and Richard and I fell asleep around 4:30am. I was making him watch all these episodes from South Park season 8, muahahha!!!!

This morning,....errr afternoon once again....woke up at 1:30pm, I took Tiffany home while Richard slept more (told u he sleeps alot). Richard and I watched more South Park and ate brunch and went by the mall for a little then I took him home and drove back to Ramona, and here I am....weeeeeeee. I didnt want to leave really.....I wanted to stay longer. But I have a doctor appointment tomorow.....err today (its 2:30am) with my surgeon. So yeah. My sleep schedual is royaly fucked right now....I need to fix it.

I had a good 2 hour phone convo with one of my best friends Tawny....things were wierd after the rape, and its taken me a few months, but Im able to let go my anger with her.....I still have anger towards the guy, lots of it, and I always will for what he did to me. But not with her anymore. And it feels good.

Well. I suppose I should get to bed....atleast take my sleep meds. I'll update more later tomorow. Here are the pix from my kick ass weekend....

Richard loves his Jagger