on religion, sort of
The human side of religion - some of the morals "stuff", certainly not everything - makes a little bit of sense to me. I believe that overall, considering I'm here and somewhere around 7 billion other people are here, right now, that there is and has been some compulsion to treat others kindly, or like most animals, something instinctual that motivates us to move forward, together. I use "together" loosely. But here we all are.
That digs at me a little bit. I once was a professed atheist, and still lean that way from time to time. I can't help but feel that a compelling force exists. I have no idea what that is, what shape it takes, or why. I have no idea and I never will. I'm not even sure what to do with that sort of information, if it were to fall into my lap. But it won't, and so I shouldn't worry about that too much.
I don't buy the "spiritual" thing, either. I don't even know what that means. When I hear someone use that word, I tell myself they're just as unsure of it all as I am. Why are we so afraid to admit we just don't know? What does it MEAN to not be sure, to not be correct? We're all still here, no matter who's right (and no one is).
And no, I don't buy Mr. Dawkins' 747 scenario either. I mean, sure, it could be. But still there's the compelling force - and I don't mean just heat and gravity, not those forces, because duh. Something is clearly missing from the equation.
This train of thought makes me question myself, what I tell people (or don't) about myself, about my inner workings. I've held so long to the idea that I'm not of the faithful. Well, I think I'm not being real honest with me. I keep circling back to a compelling force. Compelling... force. This sounds a shit-ton like my ideas fall somewhere on the faith spectrum. Oh boy! It's been a harder pill to swallow than it should be! But I gave it all such little thought for such a long time. And when I did think about it, the concept of faith, in any form or fashion, was never part of those internal conversations.
I guess I've got some things to think about. Until next time...