(no subject)
I'm still watching michelle on cam.. I'm kinda happy, kinda sad.. The future is still bleak.. and now I know.. I can NEVER have anyone else.. I DID hurt michelle, despite how I tried not to.. Failing in that, I deserve noone.. Noone who can hurt the one they love deserves to have anyone in their life anymore.. I'm contemplating killing myself here and now while I watch her.. slit my wrists, and slowly bleed as I watch her, then drift off to sleep, her none the wiser.. at least I'd go with the last bit of happiness in me.. *shrug* we'll see.. if I'm not answering for the next week you'll know why..