story of my life
haha..i'm such a poet
i love readin these things again cuz i'm soo
hardcore?
melodramatic?
just plane emo?
who knows
i'm just a silly kid
making silly decisions
day after day
realizing i'm wrong
and doin it anyway
so mission
can't say i like it more then ochsa
or can i
funny how everyone got all excited and sayin how great i am
once i left
ya
funny how it always is like that
but the ppl at mission are soo much cooler
at ochsa
with everyone
there was a common denominator
ppl in the same conservatory all shared something
i cant put my finger on it
but they did
at mission
its crazy
everyones all confused
they dont know what they wanna do in their lives
they dont know why they do the things they do in their lives
they are just there
existing
well
at least some of them are
the guys there follow the description above
and its nice beein with guys who are just guys
who dont give about art
they just are there doin what there older brother did
or their dad did
or their best friend did
or that guy on tv did
its refreshing to be around that kinda high where all that is wrong with the world is just as important as
if ur keeping eye contanct with the person ur talkin too
the girls are different
there not focused
not particualarily smart
again their just stressin
dealin with the drama that girls do
dealin with trying to get the boys
its again refreshing knowing that
in theory
u can get them to do what u want
but i'm in honors
so i'm not surrounded by these kids
i'm surrounded by kids who are smart
and essentially school is their life
their kids in my class who think there smart
and i just laugh
but its nice actually having to work hard
instead of the hard part being optional
but its a pain having to read TKAM until 3 AM
and then being forced to run 8 miles to mission san juan capistrano the next day
speakin of cross country
i got owned today
ya..and again..it was a nice metaphor of my life
startin out the same as everybody
doing above average first part
exceeding ppls expectations
using my abilities to speed up past everyone
but then ofcourse
gettin distracted
gettin tired
thinking to hard
thinking about the end
scratch that
obsessing about the end and its outcome
and then ultimately
being disappointed
knowing u could of done better
stressin about how u shoulda dun better
then realizin
u have to work hard to get what u want
when u want it
how you want it
doesnt happen by just pure wanting
hard work
ya
thinking to hard
trying to hard
i should just let things fall into place
what happens happened and
the mistakes are only chances to correct yourself
never negative
on trying to hard
uhh
i talk alot
i didnt realize it til now
but
it goes back to trying to hard
cuz
i want to seem smart
funny
cool
deep
all at the same time
i wish i could just lay back
cuzz
i have nothing to prove to anyone
except myself
or do i?
i guess i have to prove myself to my family
prove myself to God?
ahh religion
always finds away to work its way anywhere
problem is
anytime i think theres holy interventention
i
hesistate
i say
oh its just a conincidence
when i know that the odds of it being one are slim
unfortunate aint it
ya
this is too long of an entry
i'm ramblin
peace
i love readin these things again cuz i'm soo
hardcore?
melodramatic?
just plane emo?
who knows
i'm just a silly kid
making silly decisions
day after day
realizing i'm wrong
and doin it anyway
so mission
can't say i like it more then ochsa
or can i
funny how everyone got all excited and sayin how great i am
once i left
ya
funny how it always is like that
but the ppl at mission are soo much cooler
at ochsa
with everyone
there was a common denominator
ppl in the same conservatory all shared something
i cant put my finger on it
but they did
at mission
its crazy
everyones all confused
they dont know what they wanna do in their lives
they dont know why they do the things they do in their lives
they are just there
existing
well
at least some of them are
the guys there follow the description above
and its nice beein with guys who are just guys
who dont give about art
they just are there doin what there older brother did
or their dad did
or their best friend did
or that guy on tv did
its refreshing to be around that kinda high where all that is wrong with the world is just as important as
if ur keeping eye contanct with the person ur talkin too
the girls are different
there not focused
not particualarily smart
again their just stressin
dealin with the drama that girls do
dealin with trying to get the boys
its again refreshing knowing that
in theory
u can get them to do what u want
but i'm in honors
so i'm not surrounded by these kids
i'm surrounded by kids who are smart
and essentially school is their life
their kids in my class who think there smart
and i just laugh
but its nice actually having to work hard
instead of the hard part being optional
but its a pain having to read TKAM until 3 AM
and then being forced to run 8 miles to mission san juan capistrano the next day
speakin of cross country
i got owned today
ya..and again..it was a nice metaphor of my life
startin out the same as everybody
doing above average first part
exceeding ppls expectations
using my abilities to speed up past everyone
but then ofcourse
gettin distracted
gettin tired
thinking to hard
thinking about the end
scratch that
obsessing about the end and its outcome
and then ultimately
being disappointed
knowing u could of done better
stressin about how u shoulda dun better
then realizin
u have to work hard to get what u want
when u want it
how you want it
doesnt happen by just pure wanting
hard work
ya
thinking to hard
trying to hard
i should just let things fall into place
what happens happened and
the mistakes are only chances to correct yourself
never negative
on trying to hard
uhh
i talk alot
i didnt realize it til now
but
it goes back to trying to hard
cuz
i want to seem smart
funny
cool
deep
all at the same time
i wish i could just lay back
cuzz
i have nothing to prove to anyone
except myself
or do i?
i guess i have to prove myself to my family
prove myself to God?
ahh religion
always finds away to work its way anywhere
problem is
anytime i think theres holy interventention
i
hesistate
i say
oh its just a conincidence
when i know that the odds of it being one are slim
unfortunate aint it
ya
this is too long of an entry
i'm ramblin
peace