Uprooting the roots of bitterness

[iamashark]

   I am so bitter as a result of traumatic ministry experiences I have had in the last two and a half years. I never really responded to the events officially to the offending parties. I remained quiet about it because I believed that it was the passive and least damage causing course of action. While it may have been passive and minimized corporate damage, it damaged me extensively to hold it in. It has even caused me to turn my back on my hopes and dreams for the future. The dreams that got me to where I am today, for which I forsook all and started an education. As a result of my losing hope I have become a person I would never have otherwise allowed myself to become. Allowing pride, selfishness, ego-centricity, corruption, and slothfulness in my life to go unchecked. I dont believe I can ever again be the person in ministry I had hoped to become. Bitterness and the result thereof changes everything. Its like a watermark burned on the willingness of my heart. I watch others around me accomplishing things in ministry I myself should be accomplishing by now, but Im all the way at the beginning again. I was earnest and sincere with God about wanting to be used in ministry however He desired. I always humbled myself and recognized He was in charge. I spent time in prayer to make sure things were going the way He wanted them to go. And this still happened.

I dont know where to start on fixing this.