Letter to Judy
Dear Judy,
Today has been the second time your birthday has come around since you died. You'd have been 54. I always found your birthday easy to remember because it's Martin Luther King day. I only know of one other birthday of mom's friends, and that's Cathie, because her birthday is three days before mine. Did you know the girls got together last year for your birthday? They visited your grave and went out to lunch. You were kind of the center of the group, the instigator, the one who threw parties. Mom considered you her best friend, did you know that? Maybe that's another reason I remembered your birthday.
I remember when you turned thirty. We tried to throw you a surprise party, but you hated surprise parties, and somehow you found out about it and didn't show up. My Cabbage Patch Kid substituted for you when we took group pictures. Did you know I turned 30 on my past birthday? Funny, I was only 6 when you turned 30.
I think, of all mom's friends, you're the one I was probably closest to. You were so nice to mom, which is why she thought you were best friends, even though she later realized you considered Carole your best friend. Didn't matter. You treated everyone well, and I know I spent a lot of time at your house, and you invited us up to your trailer/cabin in Wisconsin a few times, and I remember going to several parties when you moved to the suburbs even though I was old enough to stay home. It was at your last party in the city that I found out mom had been married before. And, as I found out a few days ago, it was your sister who gave mom clothes when mine got damaged in our old dryer.
See, but there are other similarities, too. You lived with your parents for many, many years, I think until you got married, and you were in your 40s when that happened. I know you dated, because at least once up in Wisconsin you had a man in your room when we stayed there. I was too young to figure out what he was doing there. But, if anything, if you were around I could commiserate with you. Everyone else in your group had moved out and/or gotten married when they turned 30; somehow that didn't happen with you. Maybe you did move out at one point, but I always recall you with your parents. Maybe that's why it doesn't seem so odd to me to still be here after all this time--you didn't turn out so badly. Yes, you had your issues, but you lived life fully.
I just want you to know that I miss you. I miss the fact that I hadn't seen you in years before your wake, and that that was the most recent time I saw the group together. I used to see you all far more often. I'm glad mom was able to find girls like you, who have known each other since grade and high schools. I don't have friends like that, or at least not a big group of them. You guys were special and I think you knew that; rest assured that they felt you were special, too.
Love, Jennifer
Today has been the second time your birthday has come around since you died. You'd have been 54. I always found your birthday easy to remember because it's Martin Luther King day. I only know of one other birthday of mom's friends, and that's Cathie, because her birthday is three days before mine. Did you know the girls got together last year for your birthday? They visited your grave and went out to lunch. You were kind of the center of the group, the instigator, the one who threw parties. Mom considered you her best friend, did you know that? Maybe that's another reason I remembered your birthday.
I remember when you turned thirty. We tried to throw you a surprise party, but you hated surprise parties, and somehow you found out about it and didn't show up. My Cabbage Patch Kid substituted for you when we took group pictures. Did you know I turned 30 on my past birthday? Funny, I was only 6 when you turned 30.
I think, of all mom's friends, you're the one I was probably closest to. You were so nice to mom, which is why she thought you were best friends, even though she later realized you considered Carole your best friend. Didn't matter. You treated everyone well, and I know I spent a lot of time at your house, and you invited us up to your trailer/cabin in Wisconsin a few times, and I remember going to several parties when you moved to the suburbs even though I was old enough to stay home. It was at your last party in the city that I found out mom had been married before. And, as I found out a few days ago, it was your sister who gave mom clothes when mine got damaged in our old dryer.
See, but there are other similarities, too. You lived with your parents for many, many years, I think until you got married, and you were in your 40s when that happened. I know you dated, because at least once up in Wisconsin you had a man in your room when we stayed there. I was too young to figure out what he was doing there. But, if anything, if you were around I could commiserate with you. Everyone else in your group had moved out and/or gotten married when they turned 30; somehow that didn't happen with you. Maybe you did move out at one point, but I always recall you with your parents. Maybe that's why it doesn't seem so odd to me to still be here after all this time--you didn't turn out so badly. Yes, you had your issues, but you lived life fully.
I just want you to know that I miss you. I miss the fact that I hadn't seen you in years before your wake, and that that was the most recent time I saw the group together. I used to see you all far more often. I'm glad mom was able to find girls like you, who have known each other since grade and high schools. I don't have friends like that, or at least not a big group of them. You guys were special and I think you knew that; rest assured that they felt you were special, too.
Love, Jennifer