Anniversary and news
Today is the 9th anniversary of my Uncle Ted's burial. It was a beautiful Friday, with little leaves raining down on us as we stood by the gravesite. Today was also a beautiful day, one where mom went and visited her mother, giving her supplies like a stash of masks, a tube of toothpaste, maybe a new toothbrush, and a new thermometer. They took a walk together around the center of grandma's complex, and mom said she took a second walk around while grandma sat on a bench. It was good to see her, and mom took a couple of pictures to share, though for some reason I haven't gotten them. I think I need to clear room on my phone.
Ted and grandma, as of this year, have something in common: Cancer. It's hard to believe my grandma had cancer surgery to start the year; it seems like it never happened. Ted had had oral cancer for several years before he died.
Now, another family member has joined this group: Ted's wife, Aunt D. Their son texted dad a couple weekends ago, asking him to call. This was worrisome, as good news would have been okay to share via text. My thoughts went right to Aunt D, though I wondered if his wife or son maybe had a concern. No, it was his mom. She had been hospitalized with pneumonia and fluid around her heart, and they found cancer in her bronchial tubes. I don't know how long she was in the hospital, but dad spoke with my cousin on a Sunday, and Aunt D came home the next day. My cousin said they'd arranged for people to spend time with her, likely neighbors or people from church, I'm guessing, but she wasn't up for visitors. Aunt T did talk with her that Monday, and we sent her a card to let her know we're thinking of her.
I'm conflicted but a bit mad about this, given how Ted had oral cancer and Aunt D saw firsthand how that affected his quality of life. He was a smoker, he was a drinker; his type of cancer is not uncommon in men of a certain age with those habits. By the end of his life, he could no longer eat or drink and had to have his right eye sewn shut. It may have affected the hearing in his right ear. He had to be fed through a tube. But he still smoked, because, as he joked to my dad, what's it going to do--kill him? Well...yes, ultimately. And even after his death, Aunt D continued to smoke, and it saddens me that both my cousin and his wife also smoke, and around their young child. I'm convinced I was a sickly kid in part because my parents smoked. I'm so glad my dad stopped. He smoked for 50 years until he finally quit. I wonder if this will get Aunt D to stop, or my cousin, or his wife. It's such a gross habit that I really question anyone my age or younger who takes it up, because we've been fully informed on what smoking can do to the body.
But it's my Aunt D, and I hate that she had to be my uncle's caregiver for such a hideous disease, and I hate that now she too is dealing with it, and I hope she is doing okay.
Ted and grandma, as of this year, have something in common: Cancer. It's hard to believe my grandma had cancer surgery to start the year; it seems like it never happened. Ted had had oral cancer for several years before he died.
Now, another family member has joined this group: Ted's wife, Aunt D. Their son texted dad a couple weekends ago, asking him to call. This was worrisome, as good news would have been okay to share via text. My thoughts went right to Aunt D, though I wondered if his wife or son maybe had a concern. No, it was his mom. She had been hospitalized with pneumonia and fluid around her heart, and they found cancer in her bronchial tubes. I don't know how long she was in the hospital, but dad spoke with my cousin on a Sunday, and Aunt D came home the next day. My cousin said they'd arranged for people to spend time with her, likely neighbors or people from church, I'm guessing, but she wasn't up for visitors. Aunt T did talk with her that Monday, and we sent her a card to let her know we're thinking of her.
I'm conflicted but a bit mad about this, given how Ted had oral cancer and Aunt D saw firsthand how that affected his quality of life. He was a smoker, he was a drinker; his type of cancer is not uncommon in men of a certain age with those habits. By the end of his life, he could no longer eat or drink and had to have his right eye sewn shut. It may have affected the hearing in his right ear. He had to be fed through a tube. But he still smoked, because, as he joked to my dad, what's it going to do--kill him? Well...yes, ultimately. And even after his death, Aunt D continued to smoke, and it saddens me that both my cousin and his wife also smoke, and around their young child. I'm convinced I was a sickly kid in part because my parents smoked. I'm so glad my dad stopped. He smoked for 50 years until he finally quit. I wonder if this will get Aunt D to stop, or my cousin, or his wife. It's such a gross habit that I really question anyone my age or younger who takes it up, because we've been fully informed on what smoking can do to the body.
But it's my Aunt D, and I hate that she had to be my uncle's caregiver for such a hideous disease, and I hate that now she too is dealing with it, and I hope she is doing okay.