Article on being an introvert
I came across this article the other day and thought it was interesting. Not everything applies to me, but a number of the points do. And you wonder why I wanted to be left alone this weekend. See the bolded ones to know what I agreed with, and italics for any explanations.
Jenn Granneman, Contributor
Author of The Secret Lives of Introverts
26 Small Difficult Things You Have To Deal With When You’re An Introvert
06/09/2017 03:51 pm ET | Updated 4 days ago
It’s not easy being an introvert. Little things that don’t bother extroverts - like hanging out in groups, unexpected phone calls, and being put on the spot - can chip away at your energy. That’s because we introverts have a less active dopamine reward system than extroverts, so the things that energize extroverts just don’t excite us as much. In fact, they can be downright draining, leading us to suffer from something known as the “introvert” hangover; this is when we feel tired, irritable, and even physically unwell after too much socializing. But introverts aren’t freaks of nature (even though we may feel that way, especially growing up). Being an introvert is a perfectly normal “thing” to be; studies show that introverts make up about 30-50 percent of the population.
If you’re an introvert, you probably deal with dozens of little annoyances every day - and they all add up. Can you relate to these 26 small difficult things? I can’t speak for every introvert, but I believe this list is generally true:
1. When someone immediately calls you instead of just answering your text.
2. When the teacher says these dreaded words: “This is a group project. No exceptions.” (True confession: Most of the time I dreaded it because of the quality of the work the others produced, not necessarily the fact that I had to work with them. But I did prefer to work solo.)
3. When you’re being quiet because you’re daydreaming, or you just don’t have anything to say at the moment, and someone asks, “Are you okay? You look sad/upset.” Sigh. This is just your face. (My mom has been like this.)
4. When you’re trying to read or do something alone, and your roommate or significant other keeps interrupting you with comments about little things, like something they saw on Facebook. (Mom again.)
5. When you’re excited that you have nothing to do after work; then your friend texts and says, “We’re still on for tonight, right?” You completely forgot about the plans you made - there goes your downtime.
6. When you want to leave a party or event because it’s draining, but the person you rode with is having fun and doesn’t want to go yet. (Why would you go with someone?)
7. When people point out how quiet you are, as if making you feel even more self-conscious will suddenly make you open up.
8. When you show up to your job and work hard every day, but your boss doesn’t really know what your contributions are, because you don’t run around tooting your own horn.
9. When you want to talk to someone interesting/attractive, but you have no idea how to start the conversation.
10. When someone keeps talking and talking, and you don’t want to be rude and interrupt them, but you’re getting tired of listening, and your patience for being supportive is running out. (OMG I have a coworker like this…)
11. When people think you’re not having fun because you’re being quiet.
12. When people think you’re shy or don’t like them, but that’s not the case at all - it’s because you just met them and you haven’t figured out how to interact with them yet. (No…it's really because I'm shy, but thanks anyway.)
13. When you’re getting worn out, and you go to leave the party or event, and someone makes you feel guilty by asking incredulously, “You’re leaving already?” (Ha-ha, no, I always mean to leave parties earlier but since it takes me a while to get into them, it takes me a while to leave.)
14. When the teacher calls on you even though you weren’t raising your hand (because you never say much in class and she wants you to feel “included” by getting the chance to “participate”).
15. When your coworkers expect you to eat lunch with them, but you’ve already spent all morning with them, and the lunch hour is your only quiet refuge away from people. (When I would get a lunch, I would prefer to be alone.)
16. When you’re so desperate to get away from people for a few minutes that you hide in the bathroom. (What, doesn't everyone do that at parties? Okay, I really only did that twice that I recall, in college, but it was boy-related, not really because I was an introvert.)
17. When you host a social event in your home, but there are those two people who stay long after everyone else has left and just keep talking obliviously - even after you’ve cleaned up and mentioned three times how tired you are.
18. When someone texts you and wants to hang out right now. As in, “I’m almost at your house.” You didn’t get any time to mentally prepare yourself to socialize. (It's not texting, it's calling, but yeah. And it's more that I'm not prepared to entertain. I need warning to clean and shower and dress and stuff. But don't do that. That's a quick ticket to no longer be my friend.
19. When you want to talk about the universe, the meaning of life, and other deep topics, but everyone else is talking about celebs, office gossip, or their weekend plans.
20. When you finally get some time to yourself, and you get a call/text notification.
21. You have a lot of online friends, but of course none of the best ones live anywhere near you, so you end up spending Saturday night at home talking to them online. You fantasize about hanging out with them somewhere but it would be so hard to actually make that happen.
22. When you’re on public transportation and the person next to you keeps trying to talk to you, even though you’re reading a book, or you have headphones in. Isn’t it obvious that you’re not in the mood to chat?
23. When your best friend or significant other gets hurt because you don’t want to hang out with them tonight. Seriously, you love them, but you need a few hours to yourself sans people to maintain your sanity.
24. When you don’t want to go to the party/event because you know it will be draining, but no matter what excuse you come up with, you still sound like an unsociable jerk.
25. When you come home and thought the house would be empty, but your roommate or a family member is unexpectedly there.
26. When you just want to be left alone, but suddenly, that’s when everyone needs you. (This is my work life.)
Are you an introvert - or do you have one in your life? Find out what’s really going on with introverts in my upcoming book, The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World.
Yeah, so, a lot of these didn't actually apply, but believe me, I am an introvert. Perhaps I am a true introvert in that I am antisocial as well compared to the writer. But dealing with people does take a lot out of me, and I prefer planning ahead so I'm mentally prepared. Granted, I tend to look forward to some of these things, but it does take a lot out of me. This is why it takes me a week to recover from camp--I've had to be "on" the entire previous week. I'm used to it, I enjoy it, but dang. It's hard on me.
Jenn Granneman, Contributor
Author of The Secret Lives of Introverts
26 Small Difficult Things You Have To Deal With When You’re An Introvert
06/09/2017 03:51 pm ET | Updated 4 days ago
It’s not easy being an introvert. Little things that don’t bother extroverts - like hanging out in groups, unexpected phone calls, and being put on the spot - can chip away at your energy. That’s because we introverts have a less active dopamine reward system than extroverts, so the things that energize extroverts just don’t excite us as much. In fact, they can be downright draining, leading us to suffer from something known as the “introvert” hangover; this is when we feel tired, irritable, and even physically unwell after too much socializing. But introverts aren’t freaks of nature (even though we may feel that way, especially growing up). Being an introvert is a perfectly normal “thing” to be; studies show that introverts make up about 30-50 percent of the population.
If you’re an introvert, you probably deal with dozens of little annoyances every day - and they all add up. Can you relate to these 26 small difficult things? I can’t speak for every introvert, but I believe this list is generally true:
1. When someone immediately calls you instead of just answering your text.
2. When the teacher says these dreaded words: “This is a group project. No exceptions.” (True confession: Most of the time I dreaded it because of the quality of the work the others produced, not necessarily the fact that I had to work with them. But I did prefer to work solo.)
3. When you’re being quiet because you’re daydreaming, or you just don’t have anything to say at the moment, and someone asks, “Are you okay? You look sad/upset.” Sigh. This is just your face. (My mom has been like this.)
4. When you’re trying to read or do something alone, and your roommate or significant other keeps interrupting you with comments about little things, like something they saw on Facebook. (Mom again.)
5. When you’re excited that you have nothing to do after work; then your friend texts and says, “We’re still on for tonight, right?” You completely forgot about the plans you made - there goes your downtime.
6. When you want to leave a party or event because it’s draining, but the person you rode with is having fun and doesn’t want to go yet. (Why would you go with someone?)
7. When people point out how quiet you are, as if making you feel even more self-conscious will suddenly make you open up.
8. When you show up to your job and work hard every day, but your boss doesn’t really know what your contributions are, because you don’t run around tooting your own horn.
9. When you want to talk to someone interesting/attractive, but you have no idea how to start the conversation.
10. When someone keeps talking and talking, and you don’t want to be rude and interrupt them, but you’re getting tired of listening, and your patience for being supportive is running out. (OMG I have a coworker like this…)
11. When people think you’re not having fun because you’re being quiet.
12. When people think you’re shy or don’t like them, but that’s not the case at all - it’s because you just met them and you haven’t figured out how to interact with them yet. (No…it's really because I'm shy, but thanks anyway.)
13. When you’re getting worn out, and you go to leave the party or event, and someone makes you feel guilty by asking incredulously, “You’re leaving already?” (Ha-ha, no, I always mean to leave parties earlier but since it takes me a while to get into them, it takes me a while to leave.)
14. When the teacher calls on you even though you weren’t raising your hand (because you never say much in class and she wants you to feel “included” by getting the chance to “participate”).
15. When your coworkers expect you to eat lunch with them, but you’ve already spent all morning with them, and the lunch hour is your only quiet refuge away from people. (When I would get a lunch, I would prefer to be alone.)
16. When you’re so desperate to get away from people for a few minutes that you hide in the bathroom. (What, doesn't everyone do that at parties? Okay, I really only did that twice that I recall, in college, but it was boy-related, not really because I was an introvert.)
17. When you host a social event in your home, but there are those two people who stay long after everyone else has left and just keep talking obliviously - even after you’ve cleaned up and mentioned three times how tired you are.
18. When someone texts you and wants to hang out right now. As in, “I’m almost at your house.” You didn’t get any time to mentally prepare yourself to socialize. (It's not texting, it's calling, but yeah. And it's more that I'm not prepared to entertain. I need warning to clean and shower and dress and stuff. But don't do that. That's a quick ticket to no longer be my friend.
19. When you want to talk about the universe, the meaning of life, and other deep topics, but everyone else is talking about celebs, office gossip, or their weekend plans.
20. When you finally get some time to yourself, and you get a call/text notification.
21. You have a lot of online friends, but of course none of the best ones live anywhere near you, so you end up spending Saturday night at home talking to them online. You fantasize about hanging out with them somewhere but it would be so hard to actually make that happen.
22. When you’re on public transportation and the person next to you keeps trying to talk to you, even though you’re reading a book, or you have headphones in. Isn’t it obvious that you’re not in the mood to chat?
23. When your best friend or significant other gets hurt because you don’t want to hang out with them tonight. Seriously, you love them, but you need a few hours to yourself sans people to maintain your sanity.
24. When you don’t want to go to the party/event because you know it will be draining, but no matter what excuse you come up with, you still sound like an unsociable jerk.
25. When you come home and thought the house would be empty, but your roommate or a family member is unexpectedly there.
26. When you just want to be left alone, but suddenly, that’s when everyone needs you. (This is my work life.)
Are you an introvert - or do you have one in your life? Find out what’s really going on with introverts in my upcoming book, The Secret Lives of Introverts: Inside Our Hidden World.
Yeah, so, a lot of these didn't actually apply, but believe me, I am an introvert. Perhaps I am a true introvert in that I am antisocial as well compared to the writer. But dealing with people does take a lot out of me, and I prefer planning ahead so I'm mentally prepared. Granted, I tend to look forward to some of these things, but it does take a lot out of me. This is why it takes me a week to recover from camp--I've had to be "on" the entire previous week. I'm used to it, I enjoy it, but dang. It's hard on me.