The Heidi game
Alas, unlike the more famous Heidi Game, this was not broadcast on NBC, but was surreal enough to perhaps get shown on Netflix had it been filmed.
My dad took the day off. He has some vacation time to burn, and his buddy invited him over tonight, so what the heck. As is his MO, he was on the couch in the family room watching TV and playing his guitar in his PJs, waiting for me to leave for work to take a shower.
As I'm putting my coat on and getting ready to walk out the door, I spot this woman and her dog at my neighbors' house. The dog appears to be squatting on the lawn right next to their driveway, but up about a car length from the sidewalk. Nobody's home, or perhaps the husband's car is there*, but I notice the woman doesn't even attempt to clean up after her dog. Now, I didn't sleep well last night, and haven't slept well all this week, so my brain's only thought was "must catch woman and say something before she walks away." This is how I went outside with the front door wide open--I was going to grab it and close it after I talked to her--and our screen door doesn't have a closing mechanism on it currently and has to be manually closed, so it was open as well.
I don't think I was rude to the woman; I just told her, I think my neighbors would appreciate it if you cleaned up after your dog. The woman said, my dog didn't poop (or something like that). As we're talking, said dog trots on over, since the woman didn't have it on a leash. To me, this is also how the dog got so far up the neighbors' driveway; leashed, it would have stuck around the sidewalk and parkway. Oh, hi dog, you're friendly. And then the dog noticed that the doors were wide open to the house and went right in. …Oh crap.
This is how I learned the dog was a girl, and could very well have been squatting and not pooping, because when I went after her, so did the owner, all the while yelling, "Heidi! Heidi! Come here, Heidi!" Heidi ran into the house, down the front hall, into the eating area of the kitchen, then made a left and joined my father in the family room. By now the owner was inside, and dad and the lady were trying to corral Heidi, who was then running around the kitchen table. Dad had one side, the lady had the other, and after a minute she was able to grab Heidi by the scruff of her neck, possibly collar, and drag her outside, where I shut the door on them temporarily and the woman put Heidi's leash on her.
Dad was NOT thrilled. There was a definite four-letter word or two shared, and of course he was not happy with me for…well, he didn't say, just kind of waved his arm at me and walked back into the family room. This is why I need sleep. It keeps me on my toes better for when bulldog infestations happen. Yes, Heidi is a bulldog, and since we're in Batavia, apparently we need to be aware of random bulldog infestations.
On the plus side, at least I gave dad something to talk about with his buddies tonight.
*So, did I mention that my dad had been spying on our neighbor's car, noticing it had been sitting in their driveway for ages? All through his Christmas break, that's all I would hear; so-and-so's car hasn't moved! Oh, my God, dad, get a life! Turns out the neighbor was laid off around Thanksgiving, so it wasn't actually dad's imagination. But the guy likes to go bike riding, so if his car wasn't in the driveway today, that's likely where he was. I honestly don't remember. Because I was freaking exhausted and then trying to rid my house of Heidi. But, seriously, my mother doesn't kid around when she calls our house the Home for Wayward Animals. They just find their way in. The best part is that I'm not sure she knows what happened. I got home late today and she wasn't around for long, as she was going to the movies with a friend, and dad likely was already gone when she got home, so tomorrow should be interesting. I didn't want to tell her because I know she'd be horrified that some stranger came into her house unannounced; dad even said something about it before he decided it was better not to say anything more. Our house is…not clean. That's one of my tasks for Sunday, doing the kitchen floor. Tomorrow? I'll be gone all day…'tis the season. That's your clue.
My dad took the day off. He has some vacation time to burn, and his buddy invited him over tonight, so what the heck. As is his MO, he was on the couch in the family room watching TV and playing his guitar in his PJs, waiting for me to leave for work to take a shower.
As I'm putting my coat on and getting ready to walk out the door, I spot this woman and her dog at my neighbors' house. The dog appears to be squatting on the lawn right next to their driveway, but up about a car length from the sidewalk. Nobody's home, or perhaps the husband's car is there*, but I notice the woman doesn't even attempt to clean up after her dog. Now, I didn't sleep well last night, and haven't slept well all this week, so my brain's only thought was "must catch woman and say something before she walks away." This is how I went outside with the front door wide open--I was going to grab it and close it after I talked to her--and our screen door doesn't have a closing mechanism on it currently and has to be manually closed, so it was open as well.
I don't think I was rude to the woman; I just told her, I think my neighbors would appreciate it if you cleaned up after your dog. The woman said, my dog didn't poop (or something like that). As we're talking, said dog trots on over, since the woman didn't have it on a leash. To me, this is also how the dog got so far up the neighbors' driveway; leashed, it would have stuck around the sidewalk and parkway. Oh, hi dog, you're friendly. And then the dog noticed that the doors were wide open to the house and went right in. …Oh crap.
This is how I learned the dog was a girl, and could very well have been squatting and not pooping, because when I went after her, so did the owner, all the while yelling, "Heidi! Heidi! Come here, Heidi!" Heidi ran into the house, down the front hall, into the eating area of the kitchen, then made a left and joined my father in the family room. By now the owner was inside, and dad and the lady were trying to corral Heidi, who was then running around the kitchen table. Dad had one side, the lady had the other, and after a minute she was able to grab Heidi by the scruff of her neck, possibly collar, and drag her outside, where I shut the door on them temporarily and the woman put Heidi's leash on her.
Dad was NOT thrilled. There was a definite four-letter word or two shared, and of course he was not happy with me for…well, he didn't say, just kind of waved his arm at me and walked back into the family room. This is why I need sleep. It keeps me on my toes better for when bulldog infestations happen. Yes, Heidi is a bulldog, and since we're in Batavia, apparently we need to be aware of random bulldog infestations.
On the plus side, at least I gave dad something to talk about with his buddies tonight.
*So, did I mention that my dad had been spying on our neighbor's car, noticing it had been sitting in their driveway for ages? All through his Christmas break, that's all I would hear; so-and-so's car hasn't moved! Oh, my God, dad, get a life! Turns out the neighbor was laid off around Thanksgiving, so it wasn't actually dad's imagination. But the guy likes to go bike riding, so if his car wasn't in the driveway today, that's likely where he was. I honestly don't remember. Because I was freaking exhausted and then trying to rid my house of Heidi. But, seriously, my mother doesn't kid around when she calls our house the Home for Wayward Animals. They just find their way in. The best part is that I'm not sure she knows what happened. I got home late today and she wasn't around for long, as she was going to the movies with a friend, and dad likely was already gone when she got home, so tomorrow should be interesting. I didn't want to tell her because I know she'd be horrified that some stranger came into her house unannounced; dad even said something about it before he decided it was better not to say anything more. Our house is…not clean. That's one of my tasks for Sunday, doing the kitchen floor. Tomorrow? I'll be gone all day…'tis the season. That's your clue.