July rewind: Erik's memorial service
I am so far behind that it's been five weeks and I'm only just writing about it. I know I touched on Erik's memorial service on the day it happened, but I didn't go into it quite like I'd wanted to. Considering that happened during the week that July went to pot for me, well, it's no surprise. But I want to remember the trip in and of itself, especially since I've never been to Rockford by myself and likely haven't been through there since childhood.
The service was to start at noon, and I figured I'd give myself at least an hour and a half to get there, on the chance I'd get lost or something. I want to say I left about 10:15; I don't think it was quite at 10:00, but a little after. It's so weird to go west on 88; I've only done that once before, and that was back in 2002. What's nice is that the speed limit immediately increases to like 65 MPH, then gets up to 70 MPH once you get into DeKalb County, if I recall correctly. But it's only two lanes, so you have to pay attention pretty well when you hit the rare on-ramp. There aren't many once you get west of here. In fact, you can't even get off until you get to Peace Road in the DeKalb area, as the Route 47 interchange isn't a full one as of yet.
Everything was okay until I got to I-39. As soon as I got there, my radio station immediately cut out on me. It would come and go, but I'm weird in that I won't change the station, just to see what comes up. I had a good five different stations pop up. I'm not entirely sure what all they were or where they came from, but I'm pretty sure one of them was from Wisconsin. I-39 is in terrible shape. There appeared to be construction planned but nothing was currently being fixed, and I don't think it being a Sunday played a role in that. For the most part, it moved, at least. Once you get up to Rockford and into Winnebago County, it gets a little more scenic since it's on the Rock River--there were some bluffs that I got to drive through. That was pretty. And, once on the outskirts of town, the roadway splits. Again, it's a two-lane highway, so one lane went left to turn into US 20, and one lane went right to turn into I-90. My exit, Alpine Road, was almost immediately after I'd gotten onto 20, which really moves in that area. It's Lake Street around here, and is a bit of a highway, but its top speeds are probably 40-45 MPH. It was more of an expressway up there, sheesh. I know I had to take Alpine for a number of miles, and everything seemed to be named the Alpine this or Alpine that. Eventually I hit my turn, which took me through a residential area first, then it turned industrial. There was this weird intersection I had to cross where there was no street sign, so I didn't know where I was crossing, and it seemed like there was a light pole missing, as I kind of had to crane to see the street light! Weird. The intersection was also at an angle. Rockford, you are not impressing me. Then, when I got to the next intersection, again there was no street sign on the light. The only way I knew where I was was because a business had the state route number as part of its name, Area 251. Aha. From there, I was just a few blocks from the funeral home, and I made it just fine with probably 20 minutes to spare.
Once inside, I immediately found a bathroom, then joined the line of mourners who were waiting to sign the guestbook. I'm used to said books having a place to put your name and address, but people were only putting names. Okay then. There hadn't been anyone I recognized when I first got there, but soon people were getting into the line that I knew, and I saw Andy, AKA the person who'd informed me of everything, soon after arriving. We don't know each other that well and haven't seen each other in years, so it took him a moment to realize who I was, but that's okay. I was just thankful he'd told me so I could go. I'd have felt terrible if I'd had to miss it.
There ended up being a good amount of people there that I knew or knew of, including a number of LJ people. They wouldn't know me, but I know them thanks to all the various stories and posts shared over the years. In addition to the minister and Erik's dad, four people went up and spoke: Mary, Matt, Megan, and a fourth person I'm blanking on currently. Later, Mary would say she'd had to adjust her story that she'd told because it was not appropriate to say in front of, say, Erik's grandmother or wife. Yeah, that's his legacy--stories we can't share with his family. :) I've seen Mary and Matt both in person at least once and online here over the years--Mary's the person who took the famous Cinderella picture--but Megan, I couldn't think of her online name, though I'm sure I've come across her. It turned out she'd also had health issues recently, and she and Erik talked regularly, and he helped her through her issues. It was her job to tell us how much he loved us and would miss us, which was very sweet. I'm glad he had such a person who could get up and say that to everyone. I sat with Aaron, Renee, Libby, and a girl I didn't know, and there was a good amount of dabbing at eyes and noses with tissues.
The service lasted about an hour, and once out of the sanctuary a bunch of us met up and were chatting. This was around when my necklace broke, so I was trying to figure out what to do with that, as well; it got shoved in a tissue and put in my purse, and I haven't touched it since. There was going to be a reception at a local park, one that Erik had mentioned a number of times as having grown up near. Since it was only a few blocks away, and it was a relatively nice day, the group of us decided to walk. I wore a black cami, I think, and a longish gray and white sweater over that, then a long black skirt with a rose pattern and black flats. This was when I realized that the flats were not that comfortable and in fact gave me blisters on the backs of my heels. Oh well. I could have driven. But it was nice to walk the neighborhood of Erik's hometown, because it wasn't a cookie-cutter neighborhood like where I and my friends live. Plus, it gave me the chance to catch up with people, like Sven, who went and got married since the last time I saw him. A few people got married, or had a/another child; it's amazing what can happen in five years.
The park was pretty nice, and it's on the river, which was not as large as I was expecting. It reminded me a lot of St. Charles, actually, and there was a boat pier just off where the pavilion was. There wasn't a whole lot of seating, though, so when the food got served, our group wandered away to the next closest bench, which was probably 20-30 yards away--not super close, but it's not like we had to walk a mile. It was also in the sun, which wasn't completely pleasant, but the girls who'd walked over there initially (like me) at least got to sit. The boys ended up crouching nearby. See, where there's water, there's geese, and where there's geese, there's evidence of geese, and there was a LOT of evidence. Some of the girls had wanted to walk around barefoot to get out of their shoes; that was not advisable. Lucky for me I had put on sunscreen, so I was able to sit there for a while and not turn into a lobster. The guys were impressed, especially since at that point I didn't have a tan yet. I will say, the black skirt did retain quite a bit of heat, and it was like 90F that day and on the humid side. The food was good, though, from a local catering place (and no, I don't really remember what we had at this point), and there was plenty of water and liquids to keep us hydrated. We certainly shared a number of stories and things, and eventually Erik's wife came over. It turned out she didn't care for random people she'd never met who would hug her. Yeah...sorry. I'd done that. But it was really nice to catch up with everyone, and see everyone, and hear about kids and things. The only people I'd missed were Rob and Grace, but Rob had fallen ill overnight and wasn't able to make it. I'm sure it killed him a bit to not go, because they were close, but sometimes you have to take care of yourself first.
Soon people started leaving; there were a few people who'd come up from downstate who had a long drive home. Erik had attended U of I and some people never left that area. It's probably three hours from Rockford. Also, a few people had kids, and they can only take so much of that sort of thing. Others were wanting to get together for adult beverages, of which Erik would heartily approve, but being a Sunday and nobody being from the area, they weren't sure where to go; I think they managed to find someone who invited people to his house nearby. Well, that's not my thing, nor did I really know where I was going, and, well, I had a lot of stuff to do, so I decided to head home. Most of the way home, the trip was uneventful, though I got myself a reminder of why we look first, then try to change lanes (it was fine, but yeah, LOOK). Also, there are a bunch of wind farms south of 88 in DeKalb County. I think they started at the Ogle/DeKalb County lines and headed east. I must have counted at least 50 windmills. I want to say I got home by quarter to five. So, kind of a long day, but worth it. And even though that would have been my last weekend day off until pretty much now, I'm so glad I went.
The service was to start at noon, and I figured I'd give myself at least an hour and a half to get there, on the chance I'd get lost or something. I want to say I left about 10:15; I don't think it was quite at 10:00, but a little after. It's so weird to go west on 88; I've only done that once before, and that was back in 2002. What's nice is that the speed limit immediately increases to like 65 MPH, then gets up to 70 MPH once you get into DeKalb County, if I recall correctly. But it's only two lanes, so you have to pay attention pretty well when you hit the rare on-ramp. There aren't many once you get west of here. In fact, you can't even get off until you get to Peace Road in the DeKalb area, as the Route 47 interchange isn't a full one as of yet.
Everything was okay until I got to I-39. As soon as I got there, my radio station immediately cut out on me. It would come and go, but I'm weird in that I won't change the station, just to see what comes up. I had a good five different stations pop up. I'm not entirely sure what all they were or where they came from, but I'm pretty sure one of them was from Wisconsin. I-39 is in terrible shape. There appeared to be construction planned but nothing was currently being fixed, and I don't think it being a Sunday played a role in that. For the most part, it moved, at least. Once you get up to Rockford and into Winnebago County, it gets a little more scenic since it's on the Rock River--there were some bluffs that I got to drive through. That was pretty. And, once on the outskirts of town, the roadway splits. Again, it's a two-lane highway, so one lane went left to turn into US 20, and one lane went right to turn into I-90. My exit, Alpine Road, was almost immediately after I'd gotten onto 20, which really moves in that area. It's Lake Street around here, and is a bit of a highway, but its top speeds are probably 40-45 MPH. It was more of an expressway up there, sheesh. I know I had to take Alpine for a number of miles, and everything seemed to be named the Alpine this or Alpine that. Eventually I hit my turn, which took me through a residential area first, then it turned industrial. There was this weird intersection I had to cross where there was no street sign, so I didn't know where I was crossing, and it seemed like there was a light pole missing, as I kind of had to crane to see the street light! Weird. The intersection was also at an angle. Rockford, you are not impressing me. Then, when I got to the next intersection, again there was no street sign on the light. The only way I knew where I was was because a business had the state route number as part of its name, Area 251. Aha. From there, I was just a few blocks from the funeral home, and I made it just fine with probably 20 minutes to spare.
Once inside, I immediately found a bathroom, then joined the line of mourners who were waiting to sign the guestbook. I'm used to said books having a place to put your name and address, but people were only putting names. Okay then. There hadn't been anyone I recognized when I first got there, but soon people were getting into the line that I knew, and I saw Andy, AKA the person who'd informed me of everything, soon after arriving. We don't know each other that well and haven't seen each other in years, so it took him a moment to realize who I was, but that's okay. I was just thankful he'd told me so I could go. I'd have felt terrible if I'd had to miss it.
There ended up being a good amount of people there that I knew or knew of, including a number of LJ people. They wouldn't know me, but I know them thanks to all the various stories and posts shared over the years. In addition to the minister and Erik's dad, four people went up and spoke: Mary, Matt, Megan, and a fourth person I'm blanking on currently. Later, Mary would say she'd had to adjust her story that she'd told because it was not appropriate to say in front of, say, Erik's grandmother or wife. Yeah, that's his legacy--stories we can't share with his family. :) I've seen Mary and Matt both in person at least once and online here over the years--Mary's the person who took the famous Cinderella picture--but Megan, I couldn't think of her online name, though I'm sure I've come across her. It turned out she'd also had health issues recently, and she and Erik talked regularly, and he helped her through her issues. It was her job to tell us how much he loved us and would miss us, which was very sweet. I'm glad he had such a person who could get up and say that to everyone. I sat with Aaron, Renee, Libby, and a girl I didn't know, and there was a good amount of dabbing at eyes and noses with tissues.
The service lasted about an hour, and once out of the sanctuary a bunch of us met up and were chatting. This was around when my necklace broke, so I was trying to figure out what to do with that, as well; it got shoved in a tissue and put in my purse, and I haven't touched it since. There was going to be a reception at a local park, one that Erik had mentioned a number of times as having grown up near. Since it was only a few blocks away, and it was a relatively nice day, the group of us decided to walk. I wore a black cami, I think, and a longish gray and white sweater over that, then a long black skirt with a rose pattern and black flats. This was when I realized that the flats were not that comfortable and in fact gave me blisters on the backs of my heels. Oh well. I could have driven. But it was nice to walk the neighborhood of Erik's hometown, because it wasn't a cookie-cutter neighborhood like where I and my friends live. Plus, it gave me the chance to catch up with people, like Sven, who went and got married since the last time I saw him. A few people got married, or had a/another child; it's amazing what can happen in five years.
The park was pretty nice, and it's on the river, which was not as large as I was expecting. It reminded me a lot of St. Charles, actually, and there was a boat pier just off where the pavilion was. There wasn't a whole lot of seating, though, so when the food got served, our group wandered away to the next closest bench, which was probably 20-30 yards away--not super close, but it's not like we had to walk a mile. It was also in the sun, which wasn't completely pleasant, but the girls who'd walked over there initially (like me) at least got to sit. The boys ended up crouching nearby. See, where there's water, there's geese, and where there's geese, there's evidence of geese, and there was a LOT of evidence. Some of the girls had wanted to walk around barefoot to get out of their shoes; that was not advisable. Lucky for me I had put on sunscreen, so I was able to sit there for a while and not turn into a lobster. The guys were impressed, especially since at that point I didn't have a tan yet. I will say, the black skirt did retain quite a bit of heat, and it was like 90F that day and on the humid side. The food was good, though, from a local catering place (and no, I don't really remember what we had at this point), and there was plenty of water and liquids to keep us hydrated. We certainly shared a number of stories and things, and eventually Erik's wife came over. It turned out she didn't care for random people she'd never met who would hug her. Yeah...sorry. I'd done that. But it was really nice to catch up with everyone, and see everyone, and hear about kids and things. The only people I'd missed were Rob and Grace, but Rob had fallen ill overnight and wasn't able to make it. I'm sure it killed him a bit to not go, because they were close, but sometimes you have to take care of yourself first.
Soon people started leaving; there were a few people who'd come up from downstate who had a long drive home. Erik had attended U of I and some people never left that area. It's probably three hours from Rockford. Also, a few people had kids, and they can only take so much of that sort of thing. Others were wanting to get together for adult beverages, of which Erik would heartily approve, but being a Sunday and nobody being from the area, they weren't sure where to go; I think they managed to find someone who invited people to his house nearby. Well, that's not my thing, nor did I really know where I was going, and, well, I had a lot of stuff to do, so I decided to head home. Most of the way home, the trip was uneventful, though I got myself a reminder of why we look first, then try to change lanes (it was fine, but yeah, LOOK). Also, there are a bunch of wind farms south of 88 in DeKalb County. I think they started at the Ogle/DeKalb County lines and headed east. I must have counted at least 50 windmills. I want to say I got home by quarter to five. So, kind of a long day, but worth it. And even though that would have been my last weekend day off until pretty much now, I'm so glad I went.