(no subject)
I said I'd update after my birthday, so here I am; updating.
I had a strange birthday. I cried a lot just beacuse I felt really sad, partly for no reason, but I guess it was an ok time. It sucked so bad that Amber couldn't come. This made it the fourth year in a row that Amber and I haven't seen eachother on our birthdays. But yeah, things happened that I really wish hadn't and people came who, in my opinion, I shouldn't have invited in the first place.
My parents bought me the Harry Potter book. I finished it and cried like a baby and Mary made fun of me. It was hilarious.
Found yet another boy who just wanted to hook up and I think I may get sick from it. There's just no way I'll do that again any time soon. It's not even fair that this keeps happening to me. I'm not a whore and I know I don't look like one, so how come every guy who pretends to be interested thinks it's ok to treat me like a piece of meat?
I hate who I am right now. I smoke and drink and hook up with practical strangers cause I know I can't get anyone else. I don't trust a single person in my life. That has to be the worst of it. I can't even tell the people closest to me what's bothering me cause I don't trust them. Uhhhh, I feel like shit. My self-esteem is at an all-time low and my mom agrees that I need to go on a diet. I am so sick of complaining but here I am doing it. I'm complaining about complaining. Who would think that was humanly possible?
Yet, through all of my bitching and whining, I want to make it clear that I realize what an amazing life I have. I've got all the opportunities I could ask for and deep down I really am happy.
So my goal= wake up and
1) not gossip
2) not complain
3) eat healthy
4) be grateful for the people I have in my life
5) pray cause I was never happier than when I was when I was really close to God
6) SMILE
I probably won't learn to trust people for a while, but the truth is, I'd be happier knowing that I can just trust myself.
*Love*
Lizzy
I had a strange birthday. I cried a lot just beacuse I felt really sad, partly for no reason, but I guess it was an ok time. It sucked so bad that Amber couldn't come. This made it the fourth year in a row that Amber and I haven't seen eachother on our birthdays. But yeah, things happened that I really wish hadn't and people came who, in my opinion, I shouldn't have invited in the first place.
My parents bought me the Harry Potter book. I finished it and cried like a baby and Mary made fun of me. It was hilarious.
Found yet another boy who just wanted to hook up and I think I may get sick from it. There's just no way I'll do that again any time soon. It's not even fair that this keeps happening to me. I'm not a whore and I know I don't look like one, so how come every guy who pretends to be interested thinks it's ok to treat me like a piece of meat?
I hate who I am right now. I smoke and drink and hook up with practical strangers cause I know I can't get anyone else. I don't trust a single person in my life. That has to be the worst of it. I can't even tell the people closest to me what's bothering me cause I don't trust them. Uhhhh, I feel like shit. My self-esteem is at an all-time low and my mom agrees that I need to go on a diet. I am so sick of complaining but here I am doing it. I'm complaining about complaining. Who would think that was humanly possible?
Yet, through all of my bitching and whining, I want to make it clear that I realize what an amazing life I have. I've got all the opportunities I could ask for and deep down I really am happy.
So my goal= wake up and
1) not gossip
2) not complain
3) eat healthy
4) be grateful for the people I have in my life
5) pray cause I was never happier than when I was when I was really close to God
6) SMILE
I probably won't learn to trust people for a while, but the truth is, I'd be happier knowing that I can just trust myself.
*Love*
Lizzy