(no subject)
i just had this really fucked up dream that dragged up some really shitty memories. this shit isn't even relevant to my life now, but it's things that i just never had closure for, from so long ago.
i remember somewhere around the one year mark, i broke up with shannon (and shannon, i think ou're on my friends list, so sorry if you read this???) and i was going to go out with monica. now, this is a chick that i had a crush on from, like, second grade on. let me put this into perspective, this happened over the summer before i started freshman year at DC, so quite a long time ago, and, as i said, completely irrelevant to my life today. i can trace almost everything that's happened to me back to that one decision, and this isn't to say i haven't had a hell of a time getting from that point to this one, but i can't help but wonder just how different things would be now if i had just made the opposite decision than what i did.
this is seriously fucking me up, i woke up from a dream and i still can't get over the fact that my life sucks as much as it does, compared to the very minor things that were better in said dream. i really think i'm losing my mind.
i remember somewhere around the one year mark, i broke up with shannon (and shannon, i think ou're on my friends list, so sorry if you read this???) and i was going to go out with monica. now, this is a chick that i had a crush on from, like, second grade on. let me put this into perspective, this happened over the summer before i started freshman year at DC, so quite a long time ago, and, as i said, completely irrelevant to my life today. i can trace almost everything that's happened to me back to that one decision, and this isn't to say i haven't had a hell of a time getting from that point to this one, but i can't help but wonder just how different things would be now if i had just made the opposite decision than what i did.
this is seriously fucking me up, i woke up from a dream and i still can't get over the fact that my life sucks as much as it does, compared to the very minor things that were better in said dream. i really think i'm losing my mind.