TEN DAYS
I am so excited! Not only is Spring Break almost here but that means that my trip to Kansas is almost here! Ten days to go!
Part of me is super excited and really really lame and wants to start packing already. I even bought a new duffel bag on urbanoutfitters.com a couple weeks ago. However, another part of me is scared that going back will tear down the idealistic version of McPherson I've had built up in my head ever since I left it. I do realize all the bad parts of the town but I'm afraid that my visit will prove the good parts that I'm excited about as not so good. :( Either way it's good. Since I do want to move back (which in itself is a bit ironic because for a long while there I pitied the people who went to CCC and ended up never leaving Mac Town) it will be good to have a fresh look after a bit of a distance.
Time will tell, right?
As for now I need to focus on the NOW. I realized that fixating on some future point has become a habit for me. Last spring I was fixated into moving into my new apartment in San Diego. Now I am fixated on my trips to Mac Town and to Oregon. Not that fixating on these things is keeping me from paying attention to my classes or to my homework but I feel like there may be part of my life experience that I'm missing right now. Just because I don't have as many close friends at Point Loma as I did at Central doesn't mean that I should discount the time I am spending going there now... Maybe its just the next phase of my life (the 'work a little harder at this friends thing' phase) that I'm going to have to begin work on.
Part of me is super excited and really really lame and wants to start packing already. I even bought a new duffel bag on urbanoutfitters.com a couple weeks ago. However, another part of me is scared that going back will tear down the idealistic version of McPherson I've had built up in my head ever since I left it. I do realize all the bad parts of the town but I'm afraid that my visit will prove the good parts that I'm excited about as not so good. :( Either way it's good. Since I do want to move back (which in itself is a bit ironic because for a long while there I pitied the people who went to CCC and ended up never leaving Mac Town) it will be good to have a fresh look after a bit of a distance.
Time will tell, right?
As for now I need to focus on the NOW. I realized that fixating on some future point has become a habit for me. Last spring I was fixated into moving into my new apartment in San Diego. Now I am fixated on my trips to Mac Town and to Oregon. Not that fixating on these things is keeping me from paying attention to my classes or to my homework but I feel like there may be part of my life experience that I'm missing right now. Just because I don't have as many close friends at Point Loma as I did at Central doesn't mean that I should discount the time I am spending going there now... Maybe its just the next phase of my life (the 'work a little harder at this friends thing' phase) that I'm going to have to begin work on.