I'm one paragraph in and I already want to quote the entire thing back to you (don't worry I won't)
the driver was operating on strict instructions. Taemin didn't have to know anything or utter a single word oh? why do I suddenly feel like this is going to be a naughty fic
hateful flash-bulbs I love when something inanimate gets an emotional descriptive, making any sense?
as he disembarked and picked his way to the rear of the cab I really like your choice of words. I'd probably would've written something like 'he got out and walked to the back of the cab'
his glove was sopping. He mused on the dry streak he must have left on the cab's trunk Okay so I'm quoting everything, whatever. The fact that he's wearing gloves like a fabulous Hollywood starlette from the 50's. The mention of something so small as a wiped spot on a car which nobody will ever notice or care about and has already become wet again. Poetry ;_;
I love how he walks through a typical big street alley and how everything he thinks attests to him coming home and THE LAST LINE ;A;
I seriously cannot wait to read the next installment! If you feel like flipping POV's would add to the story then you should. My personal opinion is that I'd like to keep reading Taemin's POV if it would add to the mystery a little longer, but since I don't know where the story is going it's very probable that that is crap advice so just do what feels right. But if you would like some advice, don't wait too long to write more so you won't lose the feel of your characters/story. I made that mistake with my first fic, and ended up with a jumbled mess :/ Not saying that that will happen to you but yeah, you know I'm saying it with good intentions
OMFG THIS COMMENT! God you picked up on EVERYTHING!
Just the fact that you mentioned the part with the glove and the trunk I just >.< idek! *flails at you*
Thanks for the advice hun honestly it helps. I think that's already happened with my first 2min ;~; I think I'm just going to have to ruin the story for somebody I know and tell them what I have planned so I can get some feed back about pov's and such...I hate doing that though XD
Thanks so much for reading and commenting hun. You're awesome!
the driver was operating on strict instructions. Taemin didn't have to know anything or utter a single word
oh?
why do I suddenly feel like this is going to be a naughty fic
hateful flash-bulbs
I love when something inanimate gets an emotional descriptive, making any sense?
as he disembarked and picked his way to the rear of the cab
I really like your choice of words. I'd probably would've written something like 'he got out and walked to the back of the cab'
his glove was sopping. He mused on the dry streak he must have left on the cab's trunk
Okay so I'm quoting everything, whatever. The fact that he's wearing gloves like a fabulous Hollywood starlette from the 50's. The mention of something so small as a wiped spot on a car which nobody will ever notice or care about and has already become wet again. Poetry ;_;
I love how he walks through a typical big street alley and how everything he thinks attests to him coming home and THE LAST LINE ;A;
I seriously cannot wait to read the next installment! If you feel like flipping POV's would add to the story then you should. My personal opinion is that I'd like to keep reading Taemin's POV if it would add to the mystery a little longer, but since I don't know where the story is going it's very probable that that is crap advice so just do what feels right. But if you would like some advice, don't wait too long to write more so you won't lose the feel of your characters/story. I made that mistake with my first fic, and ended up with a jumbled mess :/ Not saying that that will happen to you but yeah, you know I'm saying it with good intentions
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God you picked up on EVERYTHING!
Just the fact that you mentioned the part with the glove and the trunk I just >.< idek! *flails at you*
Thanks for the advice hun honestly it helps. I think that's already happened with my first 2min ;~;
I think I'm just going to have to ruin the story for somebody I know and tell them what I have planned so I can get some feed back about pov's and such...I hate doing that though XD
Thanks so much for reading and commenting hun. You're awesome!
Reply
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