um, seriously.
someone please tell me if this makes any sense whatsoever, because even though i wrote it, i cannot decipher it to save my life. and mind you, i was completely, 100% sober when this was written yesterday:
i am never without flaw. they seep out of me, unknowing where to escape to. who's my next victim? where's my newest fault? it originates from my throat, that clenching feeling of holding back. Holding in. Holding tears. Leading me to feel utterly numb and senseless. But i am deserving of this, am i not? Days of useless, robotic movement. Weeks of inner solitude. My mind is always screaming at me, thus my constant headache. The pains of guilt, all emcompassing. i need the freedom of a heart that is whole and without a foreign substance holding all of me together. inner peace feels so distant. and still, it is all i crave. if it never finds me, i swear i'll die incomplete. the energy of positive attraction, endless tension. words are so beautiful, but remain empty to the unspoken voice. my life is desperate, thirsty for meaning. it won't come looking for me; i know too well. this is where my journey begins.
seriously, WHAT.THE.FUCK. it's like i had some sort of out of body experience.
i need a stiff drink.
i am never without flaw. they seep out of me, unknowing where to escape to. who's my next victim? where's my newest fault? it originates from my throat, that clenching feeling of holding back. Holding in. Holding tears. Leading me to feel utterly numb and senseless. But i am deserving of this, am i not? Days of useless, robotic movement. Weeks of inner solitude. My mind is always screaming at me, thus my constant headache. The pains of guilt, all emcompassing. i need the freedom of a heart that is whole and without a foreign substance holding all of me together. inner peace feels so distant. and still, it is all i crave. if it never finds me, i swear i'll die incomplete. the energy of positive attraction, endless tension. words are so beautiful, but remain empty to the unspoken voice. my life is desperate, thirsty for meaning. it won't come looking for me; i know too well. this is where my journey begins.
seriously, WHAT.THE.FUCK. it's like i had some sort of out of body experience.
i need a stiff drink.