im heavily broken, and there's nothing i can do...

[i_willremember]

so yes.
ive been left.
i just looked in the mirror.
my hair is long. back in october it was really short.
i dont recognize myself.
ive decided that im not going to take a shower today. im not going to shave my legs.
im not going to try and dress nice.
im not going to put myself out there anymore. not for a while at least.
kelci and i are having a best friends day.
i need this a lot.
i try to pretend im okay. i try to pretend i dont care.
i do care. i do love him.
sometimes i want to hate him. i feel like it would help me move on.
but i know i cant hate him. i care too much.
i think i always cared too much.
one minute im okay and then the next i get really really angry. and then i cry.
i dont like this at all.
..but there's nothing i can do.