Blocked By Garbage. Cursing and Bitching ahead.
Gah! I can't write and I can't read. It's all shit.
I want to write fanfic again, but I know if I go back, I won't come back to original fiction. It's become so hard to even get a few words down without rethinking everything about my life (or what feels like my entire life.) The plot I want to write I keep changing because I think people will hate it. They are going to hate my work because it's not mainstream anyways, so why should I care? The fact is, I am so damn hateful of myself that I can't get in the mood to just stick with something long enough to write it.
Trying to read to distract myself isn't working. Every story that the summary and pairing match up with my tastes is written by a complete fucking moron. I want to say hack, but even hack writers know how properly format a god damn story. I could do a 100xs better than this absolute shit in my sleep, but I can't stop doubting my plots long enough to get anything out.
And, no, my dears, it's not just the fanfic. I tried reading a professional novel, one that was supposedly edited and published by a big firm. Yeah, if this is the quality of their work these days, I hasten their demise!
How hard is it to remember that the subject of a paragraph is the only one who should be speaking in that paragraph? And that dialogue belongs with the subject who is speaking?
Example: John smiled at Teressa, his intent was not to alarm her. This was the first time he was meeting the woman.
"You don't know me. I shall introduce myself."
Teressa smiled. John smiled because he liked to smile. Teressa smiled again.
Danger, Will Robin! WRONG WRONG WRONG!
The dialogue is supposed to be with the first paragraph. Teressa and John's lines should be separated into different paragraphs from the second paragraph as they are focused on two different characters. This is grade school level shit, but we are getting it in professional novels. Printed novels.
Jesus H. Christ!
On top of this, every story has bouncing central characters in non-ensemble fic. *Stabs* What are they teaching people these days? I really want to know. Has the movement towards creativity and individualism thrown the rules of the English language completely out the god damn window? I really want to know, because if this is the case, I'm learning Urdu.
I can understand and forgive to a point someone who's been out of school for a while. These rules don't stick with you unless you practice them. I'm the perfect example of this. I was out of school for 5 years before I forgot, and it took 3 years before someone reminded me. There is no excuse for someone in college or younger. None!
Another moment of "DIE, YOU BITCH, DIE" that I experience is finding an English first language person, in school, using 'for dialogue' and 'thoughts'. Granted, I haven't traveled to the land of Completelyfuckingretardedestan, but I believe they still speak and write English there. The rules didn't change in transit.
And just a non-sequitur: Calling protestors criminals doesn't make it so, you dumb cunts! Just because someone might have committed a crime doesn't suddenly make them less of a human and revoke their citizenship. We are all people! We all have rights! Your badge doesn't make you better or above those without badges, read your god damn rules and regulations! And you wonder why people call your holier-than-thou ass out of touch at best. Man, I've never been to NYC and even I hate the fucking cops there. Generations of a para-military organization going unquestioned has turned them into a nation unto themselves ruled over by paranoid narcissists. Two murders doesn't turn the entire organization into victims and it certainly doesn't erase the crimes their members committed either! Turning your backs on your leader? Joining ranks to attack the president? That's the act of a criminal organization, not a fucking civil enforcement agency.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch my L&O reruns and try to remember that there are good cops out there.
I want to write fanfic again, but I know if I go back, I won't come back to original fiction. It's become so hard to even get a few words down without rethinking everything about my life (or what feels like my entire life.) The plot I want to write I keep changing because I think people will hate it. They are going to hate my work because it's not mainstream anyways, so why should I care? The fact is, I am so damn hateful of myself that I can't get in the mood to just stick with something long enough to write it.
Trying to read to distract myself isn't working. Every story that the summary and pairing match up with my tastes is written by a complete fucking moron. I want to say hack, but even hack writers know how properly format a god damn story. I could do a 100xs better than this absolute shit in my sleep, but I can't stop doubting my plots long enough to get anything out.
And, no, my dears, it's not just the fanfic. I tried reading a professional novel, one that was supposedly edited and published by a big firm. Yeah, if this is the quality of their work these days, I hasten their demise!
How hard is it to remember that the subject of a paragraph is the only one who should be speaking in that paragraph? And that dialogue belongs with the subject who is speaking?
Example: John smiled at Teressa, his intent was not to alarm her. This was the first time he was meeting the woman.
"You don't know me. I shall introduce myself."
Teressa smiled. John smiled because he liked to smile. Teressa smiled again.
Danger, Will Robin! WRONG WRONG WRONG!
The dialogue is supposed to be with the first paragraph. Teressa and John's lines should be separated into different paragraphs from the second paragraph as they are focused on two different characters. This is grade school level shit, but we are getting it in professional novels. Printed novels.
Jesus H. Christ!
On top of this, every story has bouncing central characters in non-ensemble fic. *Stabs* What are they teaching people these days? I really want to know. Has the movement towards creativity and individualism thrown the rules of the English language completely out the god damn window? I really want to know, because if this is the case, I'm learning Urdu.
I can understand and forgive to a point someone who's been out of school for a while. These rules don't stick with you unless you practice them. I'm the perfect example of this. I was out of school for 5 years before I forgot, and it took 3 years before someone reminded me. There is no excuse for someone in college or younger. None!
Another moment of "DIE, YOU BITCH, DIE" that I experience is finding an English first language person, in school, using 'for dialogue' and 'thoughts'. Granted, I haven't traveled to the land of Completelyfuckingretardedestan, but I believe they still speak and write English there. The rules didn't change in transit.
And just a non-sequitur: Calling protestors criminals doesn't make it so, you dumb cunts! Just because someone might have committed a crime doesn't suddenly make them less of a human and revoke their citizenship. We are all people! We all have rights! Your badge doesn't make you better or above those without badges, read your god damn rules and regulations! And you wonder why people call your holier-than-thou ass out of touch at best. Man, I've never been to NYC and even I hate the fucking cops there. Generations of a para-military organization going unquestioned has turned them into a nation unto themselves ruled over by paranoid narcissists. Two murders doesn't turn the entire organization into victims and it certainly doesn't erase the crimes their members committed either! Turning your backs on your leader? Joining ranks to attack the president? That's the act of a criminal organization, not a fucking civil enforcement agency.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to watch my L&O reruns and try to remember that there are good cops out there.