rule #37: never doubt your prowess; a zombieland fic.

[i_sing_anyway]

rule #37: never doubt your prowess, a columbus/wichita (zombieland) fic, pg-13
It’s a long night of driving for our fearless quartet, and Columbus and Wichita discuss some important things to stay awake. Written for my darlingest Leah (professor_spork) as part of my Jesusmas Advent Calendar

Comments

[professor_spork]

Okay, bb, I'll admit. I was a little bit nervous about this. TOTALLY PSYCHED FOR IT, obviously, I wouldn't have requested it otherwise, but... well. I've only seen Zombieland once, and I'm so, so attached to Weird, USA, I was kind of worried it would be like The Charlie And Ben Show, But Not in my head.

BUT NOPE. YOU KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK.

I may not know them well, but YOU know them inside and out. You brought me right back to the first time I watched.

“He’s like a giant panda bear.”
“…Don’t they sometimes roll over on their young and crush them in their sleep?”

So Zombieland.

“Uh… Hawks. Tigers. The mongoose.”

How do you DO that? Just. Choosing to say "the mongoose" instead of mongooses (mongeese?). It's so Columbus. I can HEAR him. Also, lol Cracked.com, I C U.

“Wichita, are you telling me you were a geek?”
“No, I’m telling you that I was fucking awesome."

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. yesssssssss.

He offered her a knuckle, which she promptly bumped, and opened the car door.

Cuuuuuuuuuute.

“You sure wallpapered her closet.”Yeah I

[zombres]

LEAH.

WRITE ALL OF MY BOOK SUMMARIES, AND MY AUTHOR BIO, AND PROMISE ME YOU'LL ALWAYS PROVIDE A TAGLINE. YOU ARE THE BEST AT THESE COMMENTS, THE BEST, AND YOU MAKE ME ALL SMILEY FACE AND HAPPY.

I'm sooooo relieved that you liked this. :D

[k_puff]

"I always wanted to go apeshit in a Wal-mart." CLASSIC Tallahassee. XD Great job again, bebe!

[zombres]

THANK YOU, BEBE.

If I ever write another Z-land fic, I have to remember to slip in a Twinkie reference...

[lotus0kid]

As long as it doesn’t involve getting out of the car or waking Tallahassee, sure
Firstly, I initially read "waking Tallahassee" as "walking Tallahassee" and spent a few amused and distracted seconds wondering what that might entail.

Anyway, this is quite adorable and hilarious and totally head!canon for Wichita's past. Everyone is beautifully in-character, especially Tallahassee at the end- "wallpapered her closet" indeed. *sporfles*

[riddled]

Oh man, this is fabulous and dead-on. :D Well-done.

[zombres]

THANK YOU! :D

[riddled]

omg omg deadpool icon :>

[zombres]

WADE WINSTON WILSON IS MAH SNARKY HERO.

[totallybalanced]

Tallahassee the miniature weasel!! :D

[zombres]

I like to think he would appreciate that comparison, especially after Columbus found a way to show him a clip of Rikki Tikki Tavi killing a cobra with red eyes. X^D