I'm actually a little proud of this.  Thinking about taking it to an open mic, because it's meant to be performed, and looks a little forlorn sitting there on the page as text.  My journey to identity after my diagnosis continues to be excruciating, but this helps me get my voice back.  Peace, friends.

( A is for... )

 When I was three I had a nightmare.  I don't remember what it was, but I do remember being allowed to stand at my mother's side while she did the ironing late one night--something she didn't do during the day with several small children underfoot.  It must have been a terrible dream, because I refused to go back to bed, and stood there, hypnotized ( Read more... )

 Ever suddenly realize that something you did, which felt justified at the time, was a lot more vicious and nasty than you had believed?  Maybe only my spectrum friends can relate to this one...but here it is, some of my dirty laundry, much of it unmentionable--but that has never stopped me in the past, right?  Onward!  The washroom is open ( Read more... )

Last week, I forced myself back to my desk.  Summer is officially over for me; apparently, I have to get through this work I've been professionally procrastinating.  There I was, prepping class like a champ, when I'd spent the last few weeks avoiding just that task and thinking--you know if you really liked teaching class, if you really wanted to ( Read more... )

 Carried an interesting moment with me from the Santa Barbara ride and wanted to unload it on all of you.  Santa Barbara and back, about 200 miles in all, makes for a very bikey weekend.  Top it off that this time, I rode as a Ride Leader (TRL), which meant I have to be more social and helpful and talkative than I may feel like being all on my ( Read more... )

Have I told you lately how much fun I've been having on my bike?  And not with solo rides, either, which is a switch for me.  I love my Sunday Shifting Gears rides, and I love hanging out with my Shifting Gears family.  This Sunday is going to be a bit of a rite of passage for me.  It's my third AIDS/Life Cycle TRL (Training Ride Leader) training ( Read more... )

No. No! NO!!!!!

Here's the deal, although I'm still waiting for the firm diagnosis on Friday, given my experiences that's just a formality.  I've spent much of my life mute.  Psychiatry will look at me and label that "selectively" mute, since I can actually speak, so my silence appears to be a choice.  Let me tell you...with great certainty...horse ( Read more... )