Transformation incomplete
I need to get away & listen to a river running in the dark as I lie in bed. I can taste how much I need it. Due to some last-minute changes of plan by a person I was depending on to make this happen, that won't be happening. Given my schedule at work, this was my only chance until, say, December. Yeah, bummer. I'm trying hard to let go of disappointment about the plan I was attached to & replace it with something equally tasty.
I've been getting acupuncture for about a month now. It is a miracle. It's like zazen in that it works big changes in subtle & unexpected ways. I think I'm in the awkward, "growing out" stage of those changes. That is, I'm feeling refreshed enough to want & feel, but not energetic enough yet to get & act. But it's close. It's possible. I can see it flickering on the horizon.
This morning, I feel capable of working on the three pieces I have my teeth into - or, I suppose more accurately, that have their teeth into me. It's been a week of head pain & nausea & lurking depression, so I am determined to carpe the fucking diem. That means I'm going to bow out of the family picnic. I know folks don't really need me there. Not as much as I need this diem for teh Artzors.
I've been getting acupuncture for about a month now. It is a miracle. It's like zazen in that it works big changes in subtle & unexpected ways. I think I'm in the awkward, "growing out" stage of those changes. That is, I'm feeling refreshed enough to want & feel, but not energetic enough yet to get & act. But it's close. It's possible. I can see it flickering on the horizon.
This morning, I feel capable of working on the three pieces I have my teeth into - or, I suppose more accurately, that have their teeth into me. It's been a week of head pain & nausea & lurking depression, so I am determined to carpe the fucking diem. That means I'm going to bow out of the family picnic. I know folks don't really need me there. Not as much as I need this diem for teh Artzors.