I am made to be BROKEN!
Hey... When everything is made to broken I just want you to know who I am. I bleed just to know I am alive! I can't feel anything! I and just a see with depressing feelings. I dont want the world to see me cause I dont think that they would understand. I know I am taking lines from the song but it is how I feel. I just feel like a pile of shit! I can't and dont want to do anything. I want to cut so bad its not even funny! I feel like I am going crazy! I just can't seem to function. I just feel like a complaining looser. I feel hopeless. I don't think that I am getting anybetter. Ya I made it 3 weeks and now 2 days. But I dont feel special. I dont feel anything. When I drive I forget about everything. Sometimes I am not sure how I go to where I am going. Or I am totally spaced out and I will drive to work when I am trying to go to the mall. I forget everything. I feel sometimes like I am not even real. That sometime life is like a movie and everyone around me is fake not really there. Not that you personalitys are fake but that you aren't relly there that it is all a figment of my imagination. I hear the voice in my head just yelling at me and telling me to cut! I want to cut so bad. Sometimes I just wish I could get into a horrible car acciddent and die. I wish I could just end it and never look back. I wsh sometimes that a serial killer would hunt me down and kill me. I just dont care anymore. I just want out of this meaningless life. I serve no purpose I am completely useless. I am having NO impac on the world. I have been seriously concidering becomeing a nurse or doctor and the working for world vision and traveling and helping the people in other countries and being where people need me the most. NOt the supficial people that worry about what they are wearing tomorrow. I really want to make a difference. I feel so worthless where I am at now. I feel like me being alive is helping NO one. I feel completely useless! I feel like she a retard! I just want you to know who I am! I bleed to know I am alive. I can't feel anything but pain. I break everytime you are around. I wish there was something I could do to get rid of this urge! I have had it for the past day and a half. I dont think I am even going to get out of the bed tomorrow.... I just hate life and everything about it. It is all meanigless crap. What are we doing hear on earth. What does it matter? None of it matters. Money none of it. I dont care about any of that I just want to go anywhere. I dont care where Just so I am not stuck in this pittiful exsistance. This pittiful excuse for a human being. I am just sick of it all! I HATE IT ALL! No will ever understand. I am just made to be broken.... BYE y'all