"I fell into fantasy. And I want to stay."
My life has taken an interesting turn of late. I don't quite know if it is good or bad, but I appear to be falling more into fantasy. Don't get me wrong, I love fantasy and always have. Ever since I was little and I read Goosebumps and Animorphs I've loved it. But I'm getting more and more sucked into it these days. I mean I play fantasy video games, I read fantasy books, I even do the whole LARP scene where I dress up as characters and play what is essentially an elaborate game of pretend with my friends. I am having quite fun in these many worlds, but part of me can't help but think that there might be something wrong in this situation. I'm not ashamed of what I do with my free time, quite the opposite I glory in it, but I feel almost as if real life is becoming tiresome. My mind doesn't have that good of an attachement to the real world as it is. I keep worrying that if I continue along down this path that I will lose my tenuous grip on the real world and become unable to talk to people about non-fantasy stuff. I hope I don't end up like that, but since I rarely do anything not fantasy related these days it feels like I am. It scares me a bit.
Also very recently I have come to terms with the fact that I, and in fact all the people I am friends with, are actually adults. It is quite an odd feeling to have. I helped a friend move into an apartment and suddenly I realized that this is exactly what real adults do. Sure when you go off to college people tell you that you are an dult, but it is nothing like the adult world. But as my friends start to graduate and get jobs, slowly it is beginning to look like that is the way I am heading. It feels odd, not so much because I don't feel I'm as mature as I should be, but because of things like the fact that I'm still obsessed with fantasy. I talk with my friends about dressing up as other people and playing pretend for weekends at a time. I carry a stuffed cat in my purse. I throw candy at people's heads. And yet these are adults, I am an adult, the real thing. It's a bit odd to think of things like that.
Also very recently I have come to terms with the fact that I, and in fact all the people I am friends with, are actually adults. It is quite an odd feeling to have. I helped a friend move into an apartment and suddenly I realized that this is exactly what real adults do. Sure when you go off to college people tell you that you are an dult, but it is nothing like the adult world. But as my friends start to graduate and get jobs, slowly it is beginning to look like that is the way I am heading. It feels odd, not so much because I don't feel I'm as mature as I should be, but because of things like the fact that I'm still obsessed with fantasy. I talk with my friends about dressing up as other people and playing pretend for weekends at a time. I carry a stuffed cat in my purse. I throw candy at people's heads. And yet these are adults, I am an adult, the real thing. It's a bit odd to think of things like that.